More Than Enemies
by Laura Latts
Summary: I know a lot of people do the whole thing with Perry becoming a human and falling for Doof or whatever but for this one, I've got a few twists to the normality of it. PerryxDoof mostly with slight Phinbella and Ferbnessa.    Rated T for bad humor.
1. Chapter 1

It was an average day for the platypus as he was called into work. Perry traveled down the tube and walked through the familiar underground hideout. Everything was such a routine, the secret agent felt like he could run through the whole thing with his eyes closed. Little did Perry know that his whole world was about to be turned upside-down and inside-out. Perry's surperior, Major Monogram, appeared on screen as usual.

"Good morning Agent P.", Monogram said in a slightly casual tone. "The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is at it again. For whatever reason this time, he's been buying his normal electrical equipment but the odd thing is all the books he's been buying and checking out of the library. The books he's been gathering cover the topics of sociology, psychology, biology, and anthropology. He's also bought copy paper and a case of colored pencils. We're not really sure why he's doing this but you know what do to. Stop any evil that man may be up to. Good luck Agent P!"

Perry saluted his commander and flipped off to his hover jet where he drove it to the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorpertated building. He landed on the balcony outside and walked to the door. He slipped in by means of picking the lock with a credit-card and snuck about the large boxes. He saw Doof hunched over a table, apparently working on whatever project. The doctor in question straightened up a bit, still holding the scientist slouch, and turned around to the box where Perry was hidden behind. Heinz saw just a bit of Perry's hat peeking up from behind it and smirked, knowing who the hat belonged to.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus! Come on out. I know you're back there."

Surprised but shrugging it off, Perry walked out into the middle of the room, practically hearing some means of a trap to go off on him. Nothing. That was odd.

"So lemme tell you my evil scheme.", Heinz said as he leaned against the table, concealing his invention. "You see for quite a while now, I've been feeling rather down about my evil schemes and such and thought, 'Eh, what the heck? I'll just kill myself and be completely through with life'."

Perry raised an eyebrow in slight amusement.

'Not a bad idea there, Doc.', he thought to himself.

"So I've been building a suicidinator for myself but as I was making it, I was thinking of you and then I thought of all the times I've trapped you and then I thought what if it wasn't a suicidinator, but instead a TRANSFORMINATOR!", he said as he whipped out a small ray gun and fired it at Perry.

Before Perry had anytime to think a bright yellowish light hit him and blinded him for the moment. Suddenly he felt excrutiating pain consuming him all the way to the very matter in his bones. He screamed, grasping his head, and felt the room spinning about him. It was unbareable and within a matter of moments, Perry felt himself passing out as a loud evil laugh echoed through his mind. When Perry woke up, the room was dead silent. His head ached, his body was sore, he couldn't even breath without wanting to gasp sharply in pain. He managed a cough as some dust tried to settel in his throat and tried to pull himself up. He hadn't opened his eyes yet but his hands were telling him that the floor was strangely colder than normal. Perry felt a shiver running through him and tried to look about but quickly regretted doing so as a sudden headrush swept over him. He rubbed his eyes but his hand quickly told him something wasn't right. His eyes, his bill... They didn't feel the same. Come to think of it, his hand didn't feel normal against his face either. Perry looked again and nearly jumped back with a scream seeing a human hand in place of his normal webbed hand. He quickly felt all over his body. His fur and his bill were replaced with skin and a nose and mouth. All that was left of his fur was a messy bunch of short blue hair. The rest of his fur on his body were human clothes instead, being of a teal blue suit and orange bowtie. His hands were bare of fur and his platypus feet had hard orange shoes on them instead.

'I-I'm a HUMAN!', was Perry's thought. 'I'M a human being? I'm a HUMAN BEING! Ulgh, I'm a HUMAN, BEING!'

He then realized as he bent his head to look over himself, there was something tight on his neck and he looked to find it was his platypus collar. He quickly ripped it off and hid it in a pocket in the jacket before Doof saw the pictures inside the locket. He felt something odd beside his hand and collar and pulled it out to find that it was a orangish wallet with a pattern-design much resembling what his now-missing platypus tail looked like. Inside was his driver's lisence with a platypus photo and his agent-badge and everything in it that was in his normal brown wallet.

'Well Doof didn't steal any cash, that's kinda good.', he thought to himself.

He checked other pockets to find his comminucator, now a bit lot smaller in his hand. His grappling hook was also smaller but it didn't worry him that much. What did worry him was the too-small fadora he felt ontop of his head. He never thought he'd outgrew the hat but decided to keep it on so Doofenshmirtz could recognize him. Doofenshmirtz... Perry began to feel his blood boil as he looked around.

'Drat! He's not here. Why if he was here right now, I'd-', Perry's thoughts were interrupted as, as if on cue, the door opened up to reveal the evil scientist.

Perry gave a growling click noise as the man stepped further into the room.

"Oh! Good, you're awake!", Heinz sighed and relaxed a bit. "I was afraid there for a while that the transforminator was really the suicidinator."

Perry pushed himself up on his feet, wobbling a bit. He tumbeled backwards into a chair Doofenshmirtz quickly wheeled into place. Perry spun in the chair for a bit, feeling a little light headed from trying to stand up so quickly. He held it in slight pain.

"Are you okay, Perry the Human?", he asked coming up to Perry.

Wrong choice as Perry quickly leaped from the chair and started trying to strangle Doofenshmirtz for morphing him. Heinz wresteled off Perry's hands from his neck but the action only caused to push Perry to the side, pulling him along. They tumebeled across the room for a moment, trying to gain the upper hand and when Perry finally did, his eyes were practically on fire. One of his hands were handily large enough to grasp around Doofenshmirtz's neck while the other curled up into a tight fist, ready to beat Heinz senseless.

"H-hey! Get off of me!", Heinz choked as his cheeks turned bright red.

Being pinned by another human, especially one that practically fitted his size, the doctor felt rather embarrassed where their bodies were.

'Why is he doing that?', Perry thought for a moment. 'Well, I can't really pound him. If I did, he wouldn't be able to change me back. I can't go back to Major Monogram as a human.'

Perry decided to drop Dr. D and the mad man gasped for breath, trying to get his blush under control as Perry stood up. The secret agent only folded his arms across his chest and glared at Heinz, waiting for him to understand what Perry was thinking. The doctor got up, brushing off his lab coat and straightened his shirt some. He coughed out a bit and started to neaten out his hair but stopped as he noticed Perry staring at him, tapping his foot impatiently.

"...What?", he said unsure of why Perry was glaring at him. "What is it Perry the Human? Er, well I guess I should just call you Perry now that your human. Agent P? I dunno, we'll work on names later. Anyway, why are you looking at me like that?"

Perry only raised an eyebrow, sure it would click with him soon. Dr. D only groaned and sagged his shoulders understanding somewhat of what Perry was doing.

"Perry, I can't read your mind here. I don't know what you want unless you start talking. I mean afterall, you're human now. You're most likely able to talk now."

Perry blinked for a moment, dumbfounded at the possibility. He could say something that Doofenshmirtz would actually understand? A wide smirk appeared on his face, almost maliciously. Doofenshmirtz started to feel rather nervous about what he had just said.

"YOU IMCOMPETENT, EXASPERATING, LIEING AND THEIVING UTTER WASTE OF A SACK OF FLESH AND BONES!", Perry screamed at him making Doofenshmirtz stumble back in complete shock.

Perry's voice was strong and definately authoritative with a nice light Australian accent to finish it off. Heinz was found in fear. He couldn't help it. Everything about Perry at this point said "You don't wanna mess with me" as he glowered down at him. Perry smiled at his new found voice, feeling like there was much fun to be had now that Doof understood him. He chuckled as he stepped up to Doof, causing the terrified doctor to scoot back. Doofenshmirtz momentarily realized that Perry was a tad bit taller than him. Well, only a bit cause Doof slouched. He'll have to check later.

"You have no idea how LOOONG I've wanted to say that.", Perry said. His face fell in all sterness and he grabbed Dr. Doofenshmirtz by his lab coat's collar and pulled him up so that their faces weren't very far from one another. "Now you'll start remaking the transforminator, or we'll see how much of a difference there is now that my fists are bigger than before."

He held up a fist as a demonstration, his knuckles cracking as he clenched it tighter. Dr. D gulped and gently patted the fist with a weak smile.

"N-now now there Perry..", he said his voice high and shakey. "I-I'm sure we can talk things over.."

Perry raised his fist ready to strike him but Doofenshmirtz coward in fear under it, "Okay! Okay! I-I'll remake it! I-I swear! Just don't hit me!"

Perry smiled and dropped him to the ground. Doofenshmirtz stood up again, rubbing the back of his neck were his coat was pressing against him. Perry walked over to a part of the room and promtply sat down there with his arms and legs crossed over. The secret agent glared over at Doofenshmirtz who only gave a puzzeled look in response.

"What, you're planning on staying?"

"I'm not leaving till I fit PERFECTLY in my hover jet.", Perry replied.  
>Doofenshmirtz gave a shrug and stood up with a stretch and walked past Perry to the door.<p>

"Hey. Where are YOU going?", Perry said raising an eyebrow.

"What, you expect me to build it NOW? I don't know about you Perry, but most people are hungry at 7 pm and especially if they've been out for oh.. 12 hours. If you wanna join me, that's fine but I'm going to go make some pasta.", with that he walked out the door to the elevator.

Perry scoffed, feeling rather determined to stand his ground. Just then, his stomach growled and he held it, understanding the pain he felt in it. Doofenshmirtz pressed the button in the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Just before they did, a hand came in and they moved apart revealing Perry with his head hung to hide his embarrassment. Doof chuckled as Perry walked in and stood next to him, knowing that he was right about what he had said.

"...You don't need to gloat to yourself.", Perry said coldly.

"I'm not gloating. It's just kinda funny."

"Yeah? About as amusing as the time I saw you in boxers with my face on them?"

It was Perry's turn to chuckle as Heinz felt his cheeks become hot.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'.", Perry added, smirking at the sight of Doofenshmirtz's pink cheeks.

"Okay Mr. Smartaleck. Any other slams you wanna hit me with?"

"Yeah actually. You really need some tic tacs. I smell your breath everytime I come into the room."

Doofenshmirtz felt the verbal slap sink deep into his skin and scowled across the elevator at Perry who only returned it with a smirk. 


	2. Chapter 2

Doofenshmirtz thought for a moment of how to really get Perry back and setteled on a trail finally.

"Yeah about that, always crashing through my walls and making your big entrance and all, why don't you use the door like a regular agent?"

"I do. And besides, think you're the only one who likes a dramatic introduction?"

"So you deliberately destroy my house just to give yourself some flare."

"Okay, most of the time it's for flare, other times though it's cause I'm in a rush. Like the Perry-shaped hole in your fridge."

"MAN you were hungry that day."

"I skipped breakfast.", he shrugged. "Not that I should've I mean, your plans blow up in your face without my help anyway."

"Hey speaking of my schemes," Heinz said as the doors opened and they stepped off. "now that you can talk, what DO you think about them a-and the songs and inators and such?"

"Ah! Where do I BEGIN?", Perry exclaimed rolling his eyes and following behind him. "I'm surprised at how many inators you've built even though they always blow up. You never fully think things through which is why I always stop you. Your songs... Doof please tell me that you're only going to stick to broadway show tunes. Anything else I've heard you do made me either wanna gag or scarred me for life."

"Hey now like which ones? I thought they were all pretty good.", they walked into the living and paused to face one another.

"Your back story one? The one with the rock band?"

"...Okay THAT one wasn't the best...", he slumped a bit. "Anyway, I better go make dinner. Feel free to sit down and watch something Perry. It'll be a while before it's ready."

With that, he walked over to the kitchen leaving Perry to actually notice how different things looked now that he was about as tall as Heinz. It seemed weird, looking about and seeing what normally came to eye level was now all the way down at his knees. He noticed some pictures on the wall of Doof and his childhood and decided to browse through them.

'Must be how he always remembers his backstories.', Perry thought looking through family portaits of him being excluded and messy while his family was neat and perfect-looking.

Further down there were pictures of Heinz being bullied on and the bullies and his brother markered over. Perry chuckled at the childishness of it but proceeded on to find first inators. Wedding pictures of him and Charlene. One of which, Perry stared at for a moment. A picture of the two of them actually at the altar. They both seemed so happy, her in her white dress and he in his suit. But what really surprised Perry was how different Heinz looked. He still had the big nose and such but there weren't any shadows under his eyes. He didn't slouch, his hair was actually neat, no evil scowling, no yellowish teeth, he seemed purely happy. Perry shook his head, figuring that Heinz only used some means of a "groominator" or whatever before the picture was taken. He proceeded down the line and came across pictures of him and Vanessa where he looked more and more like he does today. Her childhood pictures and newer family photos. Then came more recent things like the DEI and Norm's first few days. Him and Perry in their normal quarrels. There was even a picture of Perry, Major Monogram, and Karl all markered over. Perry couldn't help but laugh. Even if it was the Major. Afterall, Heinz drew a pretty convincing beard to go with his mustache. Penny, the beloved female platypus Dr. Doofenshmirtz used to distract Perry with under the influence of romance. Also markered over what since she turned her back on him. Then something caught Perry's eye that made him almost freeze in his place until Heinz quickly came up and turned it around on the wall.

"Hey hey! I said you could watch TV! Not look through my pictures!", he barked down to Perry.

Perry stepped back in slight surprise but shrugged, trying to ignore it. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He may be able to talk now, but that doesn't mean he's a blabbermouth.

"Well it'll take a while for the water and sauce to boil now. So...", Heinz paused, finding Perry turning on the TV and content with what was last on. "The soap opera channel? You watch soaps?"

Perry shrugged a bit.

"Every now and then.", he simply said. "There a problem?"

Dr. D stared at the platyman for a moment. Perry shifted somewhat nervously, afterall it was weird to be stared at. Heinz came up closer, inspecting carefully of the being infront of him. Perry backed up to remain distance.

"Uh.. Can I help you?", he asked, unsure if he should punch him at the moment or not.

"...Did my transforminator scramble your brain?", he asked finally.

"What?"

"Sorry, just.. You're a secret agent. I would think you'd just watch cop shows o-or the news or something.", he shrugged, backing up a bit. "Not soap operas."

"Uh, just cause I'm a cop, doesn't mean all I wanna see are cops.", he rolled his eyes. "That'd be Major Monogram."

"Franny? Yeah, I guess I can see that.", Heinz said remembering the odd commentary he shared with the man.

"Besides, teenagers like Ca-", Perry stopped in mid sentence and Doof raised an eyebrow in question. "Er... L-like SOME people I know...sorta... D-don't give enough entertaining drama like this stuff."

"...Where you about to say someone's name?"

"Uh... No?"

Heinz was about to speak but became distracted with the show's theme. He smiled and became somewhat excited.

"Oh turn it up! I love this one!"

"Really? Ha! Me too!", Perry said as he pressed the button on the remote.

"You watch this show?"

"Oh, I DIE for the show!", Perry placed a hand over his heart to emphasize.

"Me too!"

As they watched excitedly, a couple of actors were on screen, apparently in conflict with eachother.

"Oh Jason...", the girl actor smiled at the other one. "You're so dreamy..."

"There is no one like you, Annie.", Jason replied, cupping her chin.

"YES! YES! YES!", Perry squealed, clutching a throw pillow closer to him.

"AW NO! NO! NO!", Doof yelled at the TV. "No, Annie! It's not worth it!"

"What do you mean it's not worth it, Doofus?", Perry turned to look at him. "They've been teasing each other all throughout the series!"

"Yeah but he's dating, Chrissie!", he groaned as he lifted his head skyward and held out his hands as if asking for some unknown being to undo what's going on.

"WHAT?", Perry exclaimed, his eyes becoming huge as he reminded himself that he hadn't seen all the episodes what since it was also a day-time soap as well as evening.

"YES!", Heinz began to flail his arms about in frustration.

"NO!", Perry screamed turning back at the TV as the actors kissed passionately. "NO! NO! ANNIE! STOP KISSING THAT JERK!", he threw his pillow at the screen.

Heinz screamed like a fangirl, angry at the scriptwriter, stomping his feet and joining Perry in the ceremonious uproar of the episode. When they calmed down and a comercial came on, Doof stood up from where he slid off the couch and went back to the kitchen to finish his sauce. Still groaning over what they had watched. Perry responded back and the two went on in this manner.

"Uuuugghh!", Doof groaned, rubbing the back of his head as if to say, "'Oh man!'"

"Eeehhh..", Perry replied rolling his eyes like he was saying, "'That's them for ya.'"

"Aah! AAH?", Doof turned around with his arms extended, "'Yeah! But really?

"Ugh!", Perry flopped back on the couch, "'I know!'"

"Aah! Ah- UGGHHAAAHH!", Doof gave a shudder and rolled his eyes. "'I mean seriously! I- Ulgh, now I'm sick...'" 


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner soon came to be done and Perry sat down at the table while Heinz dished out the bowls and forks.

"Vanessa says it's pretty good, but I gotta warn you, the meatballs tend to be a little hot.", Heinz cautioned as he sat across the table. "And of course by 'meatballs' I mean bits of pork that has red pepper mixed up with it."

As Dr. D dug into his dish, he noticed Perry wasn't eating and paused, wondering if Perry was okay.

"Something wrong?"

Perry stared at the bowl and the fork next to it, unsure of what it was for. After a moment, Perry decided to dive in face-first, ignoring the utensil but instantly regretted it as he pulled back with steaming hot noodles and tomato sauce on his face.

"OW! OW! OW! HOT!", Perry exclaimed, trying to wipe it all off quickly.

Doof couldn't help but laugh at Perry's humility. Perry only glared across the table at the doctor in question.

"Are you TRYING to burn my face!"

"Ha ha! Perry, I wouldn't try to burn your face even if I had a burninator. Oh hey..", he paused and thought it over for a moment. "Now there's an idea.."

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ.", Perry said sternly, recapturing his attention.

"Sorry. No, Perry, didn't you consider using your fork?"

Perry only raised an eyebrow and Doofenshmirtz chuckled again.

"Guess not. Look, you see that silver thing next to your bowl?"

Perry looked down at it and picked it up.

"Yeah. Stab it into your bowl, twist so some spagehtti catches onto your fork.", he demonstrated and Perry tried to to imitate, succeeding in getting a few tiny strands. "Then eat. Simple."

He ate what was on his fork but before Perry could even get it to his mouth, it fell off and landed in the bowl again. As Heinz met his bodily needs, Perry began feeling frustrated as he stabbed the bowl again and again, failing to eat dinner each time. Another failed attempt and Perry felt like enough's enough. He jammed the fork into the bowl but when he pulled up on it, he found the rest of the bowl coming up with it much to his surprise. Heinz saw, a look of shock on his face as the fork's tips peeked out through the plastic. He sighed and glared some at it.

"Cheap plastic..", Heinz grumbeled to himself as he returned to his bowl.

Perry only rolled his eyes and sat the bowl back down, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Doofenshmirtz looked as Perry glared out the window and sighed some feeling sorry for the newly formed man. He sat down his bowl and, while using his fork, skillfully scooped up some and held the fork out to Perry. Perry noticed the gesture but looked away again, his cheeks becoming even redder.

"I'm not a child, Doofenshmirtz."

"Yeah but you don't know about being a human.", Heinz offered the fork and after a moment of glaring down at it, Perry ate.

"You don't need to coddle me.", he said after he swallowed.

"Trust me Perry, I wan't you outta here as soon as possible.", Heinz replied. "How is it?"

"...Good.", Perry muttered before he took another bite. "I have to admit, it's good..."

"Thank you. It was Great Grandma Gretel's recipe."

"What's in it, hate?"

"Ha ha. Spices really."

"What?"

"It's a bit of a different arrangement than what most people do for the spices in the sauce which is made of tomato chunks, paste, and sauce. Great Grandma Gretel really liked to cook."

"Yeah apparently."

Doofenshmirtz continued to feed Perry and when it was over, Heinz gathered up the bowls and took them to the kitchen, telling himself he's going to have to take care of Perry's bowl tomorrow. Perry stretched and sighed somewhat satisfied to himself. Doofenshmirtz wasn't exactly the closest person to Perry, but it was nice for him to help Perry eat. Even if it did seem rather humiliating for the secret agent. As he sat there contimplating these thoughts, something caught his attention and he decided to check it out while Heinz was cleaning up the kitchen. 


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner soon came to be done and Perry sat down at the table while Heinz dished out the bowls and forks.

"Vanessa says it's pretty good, but I gotta warn you, the meatballs tend to be a little hot.", Heinz cautioned as he sat across the table. "And of course by 'meatballs' I mean bits of pork that has red pepper mixed up with it."

As Dr. D dug into his dish, he noticed Perry wasn't eating and paused, wondering if Perry was okay.

"Something wrong?"

Perry stared at the bowl and the fork next to it, unsure of what it was for. After a moment, Perry decided to dive in face-first, ignoring the utensil but instantly regretted it as he pulled back with steaming hot noodles and tomato sauce on his face.

"OW! OW! OW! HOT!", Perry exclaimed, trying to wipe it all off quickly.

Doof couldn't help but laugh at Perry's humility. Perry only glared across the table at the doctor in question.

"Are you TRYING to burn my face!"

"Ha ha! Perry, I wouldn't try to burn your face even if I had a burninator. Oh hey..", he paused and thought it over for a moment. "Now there's an idea.."

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ.", Perry said sternly, recapturing his attention.

"Sorry. No, Perry, didn't you consider using your fork?"

Perry only raised an eyebrow and Doofenshmirtz chuckled again.

"Guess not. Look, you see that silver thing next to your bowl?"

Perry looked down at it and picked it up.

"Yeah. Stab it into your bowl, twist so some spagehtti catches onto your fork.", he demonstrated and Perry tried to to imitate, succeeding in getting a few tiny strands. "Then eat. Simple."

He ate what was on his fork but before Perry could even get it to his mouth, it fell off and landed in the bowl again. As Heinz met his bodily needs, Perry began feeling frustrated as he stabbed the bowl again and again, failing to eat dinner each time. Another failed attempt and Perry felt like enough's enough. He jammed the fork into the bowl but when he pulled up on it, he found the rest of the bowl coming up with it much to his surprise. Heinz saw, a look of shock on his face as the fork's tips peeked out through the plastic. He sighed and glared some at it.

"Cheap plastic..", Heinz grumbeled to himself as he returned to his bowl.

Perry only rolled his eyes and sat the bowl back down, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Doofenshmirtz looked as Perry glared out the window and sighed some feeling sorry for the newly formed man. He sat down his bowl and, while using his fork, skillfully scooped up some and held the fork out to Perry. Perry noticed the gesture but looked away again, his cheeks becoming even redder.

"I'm not a child, Doofenshmirtz."

"Yeah but you don't know about being a human.", Heinz offered the fork and after a moment of glaring down at it, Perry ate.

"You don't need to coddle me.", he said after he swallowed.

"Trust me Perry, I wan't you outta here as soon as possible.", Heinz replied. "How is it?"

"...Good.", Perry muttered before he took another bite. "I have to admit, it's good..."

"Thank you. It was Great Grandma Gretel's recipe."

"What's in it, hate?"

"Ha ha. Spices really."

"What?"

"It's a bit of a different arrangement than what most people do for the spices in the sauce which is made of tomato chunks, paste, and sauce. Great Grandma Gretel really liked to cook."

"Yeah apparently."

Doofenshmirtz continued to feed Perry and when it was over, Heinz gathered up the bowls and took them to the kitchen, telling himself he's going to have to take care of Perry's bowl tomorrow. Perry stretched and sighed somewhat satisfied to himself. Doofenshmirtz wasn't exactly the closest person to Perry, but it was nice for him to help Perry eat. Even if it did seem rather humiliating for the secret agent. As he sat there contimplating these thoughts, something caught his attention and he decided to check it out while Heinz was cleaning up the kitchen. 


	5. Chapter 5

Doofenshmirtz loaded up the dishwasher and got it running, wiping excess tomato sauce from the counter tops and was just about done when he looked out to the table he and Perry were sitting at and saw Perry was gone. A moment of concern struck him. He walked out into the living room, still not finding any sign of the platyhuman. He noticed the glass door to his balcony was opened up and he walked out to find Perry leaning against the railing, his head hung over the side. Looking at the position of Perry's body, it made Heinz confused and his heart sink a bit. If he didn't know better, he'd say Perry was even trembling. Was he depressed? But if he was, what about? Doof couldn't understand it.

"Perry the Human?", he asked.

At the sound of the doctor's voice, Perry's head flew up with surprise. He quickly began rubbing his hands on his face. The reason for such an action, Heinz could only guess.

"Wh-what do you want?", Perry finally said, his tone implying anger.

"Sorry.", Doof felt a little taken back by the sudden emotion. "I was just wondering why you were suddenly out here."

Perry paused for a moment, keeping his bloodshot eyes from his nemesis. He pointed out with a single finger to a point far off in the distance. Doof could only tell this is what Perry was pointing as seeing as that though it was far out, there was a bright light beyond the city's tall building. He looked out and listened carefully, just barely picking up something of a sound aside from the city's normal noise.

"So come home Perry. Come home, Perry, come home...", distant voices sang out.

It was at that moment that Doofenshmirtz understood what it was. It was something of a calling song to Perry, his nemesis. Afterall, he was a platypus just earlier that day. He wouldn't be too surprised if he had owners who missed him. Well obviously Perry did otherwise there wouldn't be a song talking of something blue, hairy, and missed so much at home. He felt a twinge of guilt as Perry decided to march back into the building.

'I need to get a grip of myself.', Perry scolded himself. 'I can't fall to pieces while I'm here. What will Doofenshmirtz think? Just a few days and I'll be gone and everything will be in their proper place. Just can't show off my emotions. I'm sure Doofenshmirtz would just be DIEING to jump all over it if he found a weakness in my emotional status. Afterall, once a rat, always a rat.'

Doofenshmirtz walked back in, feeling a little odd by what he's just seen. It was obvious Perry missed his family but, Doofenshmirtz did have his own reputation to hold onto. If he just allowed Perry to go back, he wouldn't really be keeping to his own plans like he wanted. The other villains would probably think he was going soft too. Always a slight problem. He watched Perry walking over to the table and slumped down at it, holding his head in his hands.

'He's really a broken man, huh?', Heinz thought to himself. 'Wow.. I think I just laid out the most evil scheme yet on Perry.'

He walked over, trying to think of something that may comfort Perry at least a little bit. He sat down at the other end and noticed that Perry had now slumped even further to bury his head in his arms.

'Okay, I made him feel THIS bad? Maybe I should share this idea to the other scientists at our next convention. They'd probably praise me for actually doing THIS to my nemesis.', he smirked at the thought but seeing Perry decided to atleast help perry feel a little better. He cleared his throat, thinking he finally found something to comfort Perry with but when he made no movement, Doofenshmirtz was left puzzeled. He tapped Perry's shoulder. No response. He tried poking his head, accidentally turning it over revealing Perry had fallen asleep right there in the seat. Doof was surprised for a moment but then resided to some frustration.

"Oh great! I can't have you sleeping here at the table.", he groaned.

He thought for a moment about how to move Perry to a slightly more comfortable location. Normally he'd ask Norm but with the clock telling it was past 9, the robot was already in bed, shut off till the next morning. Was it past 9 already? Doofenshmirtz hadn't really kept track of the time. He sighed as his sight returned to the sleeping body at his table. It was actually a first time Heinz actually got to study Perry's face. What bit of skin his clothes didn't cover was a nice shade of pink. It was easy to see how he was a platypus. His long nose, indicating where the bill once sat. Not as long as Heinz's nor as pointy, but still a little bigger than a most people. Wasn't there something about that in the anthropology books he checked out? He wasn't sure at the time. Still, it was interesting. Perry had a strong jaw line but then Heinz noticed something that almost made him chuckle. A small red, strawberry-birthmark was just hidden below his jaw in no particular shape. It seemed a little weird how Perry had one, but of course no one would've really been able to see with all his fur normally covering it up. Another odd thing the man noticed about the agent was the bright red mark that trailed along his neck.

'What's up with that? It looks like someone was strangeling him with a scarf.", he thought before finally deciding it was best to move Perry before it got any later and sighed a bit, knowing only one tactic of how to do it without Norm's help.

'This is going to be murder on my back.', he thought to himself as he walked over to Perry.

He crouched down and after much struggling and straining, he was able to lift the large platyhuman in a bridal style and started trying to heave the sleeping Perry to the couch. He was right on one thing though, it was definately murder on his back. When he finally laid down Perry, he stood up but found that while he had carried Perry, the secret agent in question had locked his arms around Doofenshmirtz's neck and wasn't letting go all to easily. Heinz pulled back, straining to stand up again, but Perry pulled down hard on the thing he was holding, shoving the doctor's head onto his chest. Doof felt his cheeks burn from the awkward position and struggeled to get free. He finally managed to wriggle his face free of the headlock but Perry's arms were now around his chest. When he was about to pry off Perry's hands, the secret agent rolled over, dragging along whatever it was he was holding onto. Doofenshmirtz pulled back, his entire face a brilliant shade of red. He was glad Norm wasn't awake or, for all he knew, the whole situation would've replaced the Superstar video in less than a heartbeat. He struggeled to get free without waking up the sleeping agent but after trying every wich way decided to just give up for the moment and turned off the endtable lamp near by. He kicked off his shoes and pulled on the couch's blanket covering over top of them and after some rearranging, he finally got comfortable where his elbows where his pillow and fell asleep there. 


	6. Chapter 6

When they reached the store, they parked as close as they could and had to run to ensure not being pelted anymore with the rain. Once inside Doofenshmirtz went to get an add while Perry grabbed a cart for them. Perry looked at the cart he picked out and smiled a bit to himself. When Doofenshmirtz came back, he was surprised to see Perry sitting in the basket, waiting to be pushed.

"...Perry, you know you're a grown man, right?", he asked.

Perry nodded.

"Yeah?"

"...Yeah I can't argue with you.", he chuckled as he remembered doing that while Perry wore the debolitionator. "But don't complain when we pick up the milk."

Perry eyes grew wide as he thought about the only space in the cart that he didn't fill up was between his legs. They went through the store with Perry trailing behind Doofenshmirtz and picked up some few foods and Doofenshmirtz paused by the book section and looked down the aisle before going down it.

"...Why are you looking through the books?", Perry asked.

"Well if I'm gonna make a true-forminator, I should at least get an idea of what 'true form' actually means in a techincal point of view.", he said as he picked up a book and flipped through the pages. "I'm not entirely stupid, Perry. I know I should at least brush up on what I'm doing before I actually try to do it."

Perry was slightly surprised at this thought and smiled a bit, glad to see Doofenshmirtz was actually using some brains. But when Doof reached for a book on evil, Perry quickly smacked his hand and glared angrily at the doctor.

"Ow! What?", he said turning to Perry who had his hands on his hips.

"Doofus, as long as I'm here, there ain't gonna be ANY evil."

Doof huffed and looked back at the book longingly.

"...But it's the next volume to 'Dr. Jeckyll's secret notes of Evilness'! I've been looking for that book for weeks now!", he whined.

"NO.", Perry stated firmly.

Doofenshmirtz sighed and after he finally found a good book, they went on. They passed by a clothing department and Heinz stopped and looking at the men's section then looked back at Perry who was busy looking around at all the other humans that are actually somewhat smaller than him.

"Perry.", he said nudging him a bit.

Perry looked over and Doofenshmirtz nodded to the clothes.

"We should at least get you some PJs if not a change of clothes. You really don't look right wearing my clothes."

Perry looked down at the turtleneck with a nod and they walked over and began looking through.

"So uh.. How do they fit on you? Loose? Tight?", Doof asked as he scanned through the sizes of T-shirts.

"Uh.. I dunno, I mean, they're not to tight but the legs don't really feel right.", Perry said tugging at them a bit.

"Yeah that would make sense. You're more in shape than me.", he agreed.

After flipping through a few shirts, he looked back at Perry, glancing up and down for a moment and then shook his head, muttering something under his breath, as he turned back to the racks. Perry noticed the gesture and looked down at himself. Was he really the dorky looking or was Doofenshmirtz thinking of something else? Finally, after a moment of searching, he pulled out a blue button-up shirt and some slacks and handed them to Perry.

"Okay, I think I got something. Try it on in the dressing room and tell me what you think.

Perry took the clothes but looked down at them and then looked back at Heinz with his cheeks turning a bit pink.

"...Should I just save myself some trouble and ask you already to help?"

Dr. D looked back and then rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

"Perry, you saw how I put them on you. It's no different and either way it'd be embarrassing."

Perry sighed a bit and went to go change. After finally doing so, he looked at himself in the mirror, finding it weird how often humans changed their clothes. It did look better though and Perry peaked out the door, trying to see if Doof was waiting nearby for his final say. He remembered Phineas and Ferb doing so with their mom when they tried on new clothes so he felt he ought to as well. He finally spotted Doofenshmirtz a bit a ways back in the clothes and was about to call him out but felt like it would sound rather weird to say, "Hey Doc, whatcha think?" as if he was some medical client or something.

"Heinz?", Doofenshmirtz heard, catching his attention a bit. He looked up from the platypus-printed pajamas he held and his gaze landed on Perry who walked out of the dressing room, being careful not to close the door behind him.

He walked over and after a few questions, gave an approval and with that, Perry went back in and changed back to what he was previously wearing. After doing this a few more times with other clothes they finally collected a small wardrobe to start Perry off with and went on to pick up a few groceries.

"Hey, I gotta ask.", Doof said as he was checking a carton of eggs. "Why'd you say 'Heinz' instead of 'Doofus' or 'Doofenshmirtz'? Never said it before, thought I'd ask."

"Oh. Well, I thought it'd sound a little weird. You know?"

"I was just curious. I.. I actually haven't been called Heinz in for quite some time. Not unless it's by my brother, Roger.", he rolled his eyes at the thought of his younger brother.

Perry chuckled a bit when suddenly a new voice caught his attention.

"Mom, I'm telling you! The boys are scheming something! They always do!", an all too-familiar sound said.

Perry looked behind him and Doof only to find himself in a downward spiral of panic seeing Candace and her mom turning the corner into the aisle. Perry tried to think fast and immediately began tugging on Doofenshmirtz's sleeve.

"Hey, uh, Doof! Let's uh.. Get some platypus food! Over there. NOW.", he said quickly trying to pull him along.

He suceeded so far to get him around the other corner but Doofenshmirtz yanked his arm back looking at Perry as if he was speakign gibberish.

"Perry, why are you being so freaked out? Besides, you're a human. You don't need platypus food."

"I have a platypus BRAIN!", he said desperately hoping Doof would listen.

"Well I need to get some paper towels. Just let me pick up a package and then we'll get platypus food or whatever."

He turned back around and Perry was getting more and more worried.

"Candace, the boys are just feeling glum since Perry went missing.", her mother said simply.

Candace glared down at her brothers who were trailing behind in depression.

"I don't know what you guys are up to but when I find out, you're SOO busted!", she hissed.

Doofenshmirtz heard the commotion and looked down the aisle. The family seemed familiar but he couldn't place his finger on it. Phineas walked up to him and handed him a flier.

"Sir? Have you seen this platypus?", he asked his voice faintly having hope in it.

Doofenshmirtz looked down at the flier and saw a blue platypus. It looked pretty stupid looking for a platypus, unlike Perry when he was one. It did LOOK familiar though as well as the boy in front of him but he couldn't place his finger on where he's seen them.

"Uh, no I haven't actually.", he said with a shrug.

"Oh...", the boy said as his shoulders slumped further. "Well.. Thanks.. It has the number in case you find him.."

Phineas walked back to his mom and the group passed by.

"Hey check it out Perry. This platypus has your name.", he said showing the flier to the secret agent who only had his head hung and the hood of the jacket pulled over it. "Perry? Why are you upset?"

Perry only sighed and pointed to the platypus on the flier. He looked up at Doofenshmirtz and after a moment of looking between the two, Doofenshmirtz finally caught it.

"Th-they're you're-?"

Perry's look of depression deepened into a scowl and he looked away angrily.

"Yeah. Go ahead! Tell me your evil scheme of how you're gonna use them against me now. Might as well get this over with.", he huffed, awaiting to hear the expected ramblings.

There was a moment of silence and Perry looked up at Doof to find he was still staring at the paper.

"...No...", he said finally, looking up at Perry. "...I'm already hurting you so much with keeping you from them.. You're trying so hard for them not to know about you. And I know more than anyone what it's like not to have a family... No. I'm not even gonna bother them...", he stuffed the flier in his pocket. "Promise."

Perry stared at him in some confusion but then became skeptical.

"How can I trust you? You're my nemesis.", he said folding his arms across his chest.

"Perry, I'm an evil villain who likes Christmas and smothers his daughter with love. I can be good.", he said simply with a slight smile. "Again, I know how hard it is to not have a family. I'm already hurting you enough. I think that's enough pleasure."

Doofenshmirtz smiled a bit and Perry gave a weak one back.

"...Kay..", Perry said with a nod. "But if you even lay a HAND on them, you're DEAD."

"Fair enough.", Doof said with a chuckle. 


	7. Chapter 7

When they returned from their shopping spree, Norm greeted them in his usual cheerful manner and already had a couple of sandwiches out ready for them. Perry chuckled as he picked one up seeing as Doof did the same.

"You know for a platypus, I can't be caught dead with a third meal in a day. A can in the morning, a can at night. MAYBE a snack if I'm a 'good' platypus.", he joked.

"Ha, really? Well you must always get a snack then.", Doof chuckled as he bit into the sandwich.

Perry only gave a weak chuckle.

"Yeeaaahh.. you'd think so..", he said feeling a little uncomfortable with the high expectation.

"Perry you don't actually tear up furniture or anything, right?", Doof asked before adding with a somewhat disgusted and surprised thought. "D-do you-?"

"NO! I'm housebroken.", he replied as his cheeks turned red. "And I certainly know a human's plumbing system. It's just sometimes they actually expect me to 'be more active' or 'go for a walk for exercise' when I'm already worn out with kicking your butt and staying in shape on my own."

"Ohh. Double life clashes, eh?"

"Almost constantly. I'm really actually lucky they don't suspect a thing."

"Ow. Well anyway.", he shrugged. "I'm gonna check out that new book I bought. Feel free to do whatever, Perry. You know what's where. Just..", he hesitated and looked away a bit. "...look if I catch you trying to take a peek at that picture again, I WILL make sure you pay!"

Perry raised his hands in mock defense.

"Fine fine. Just.."

"I DON'T want to talk about it..."

"Fine."

The day was quiet. Perry read an older newspaper about Phineas and Ferb creating a monster-go-kart race in their backyard while Doofenshmirtz flipped through his new book. After a while, though, his face crumpled into disappointment and he tossed the book aside.

"Well that was money wasted. He calls himself a doctor!", he grumbled.

"What's the prob?"

"He's trying to say that a true form of something or whatever is your 'inner animal' thingy that HIPPIES mention. Really? Come on, that's not gonna help me at all. I mean, it WOULD be kinda useful in some evil way, I'm sure, but it'd be too random of a selection and too risky for your brain, Perry.", he sighed. "I guess I'll go to the library when Vanessa comes over."

"Why wait till Vanessa's here?", he asked, not seeing the reasoning.

"Vanessa likes to check out goth books and whatever it is she reads when we go there. We used to go to get books for a bed-time story when she was little but then she got her own books to read by herself so when we go there, we get to spend time on the car trip and we get to get our own stuff for our own purposes. Friday's only a couple days away and the books aren't due back yet. It'll work out fine."

Perry only shrugged and returned reading the paper, chuckling a bit as he saw an article on Candace trying to bust them. As the day dragged on, Doofenshmirtz had brought out a few more books from his own collection and was trying hard to brain storm an idea of what the invention would look like. Often asking Perry for an opinion who opted to stay out of anything having to do with his inator-creating. Finally dinner came and then bed time. This time Perry hadn't fallen asleep at the table and Doof showed him to a guest room where Perry's new clothes had been placed. They went through the normal routine of brushing teeth and hair, Doof insisting that Perry brushed his own so he wouldn't hear the weird purr again, before exchanging nights and going to bed. The next morning however, was something that they both prayed would never happen again. Doof woke up to his annoying alarm clock and turned it off, his mind trying to shake off the fog surrounding it. He laid back down, promising himself he was only going to rest a few more minutes but what his tired eyes saw as he turned his head back around made him nearly gag. Perry was resting peacefully, a little disturbed by the blaring buzz. He stirred a bit and opened a sleepy eye to Heinz's shocked face and closed it again with a smile before quickly and suddenly becoming aware of the situation and how he was actually hugging the man he mistook for Phineas. They stared at each other for a moment before finally deciding to scream and push each other away. Perry hit the floor, and picked himself up, exclaiming in disgust as he proceeded to wipe off his blue-pajama'ed body and arms.

"EW! EW! EW! WHAT THE HECK?", he exclaimed.

"Yeah I should be asking that of you! Perry are you some sorta creep or something?"

"ME? Didn't YOU drag me here?"

"WHY would I wanna do THAT?", he cringed at the thought as his cheeks became red.

"Oh my gosh...", Perry groaned rubbing his eyes.

After the initial shock, they walked to the kitchen, still shuddering over the morning. Coffee was poured, having been pre-made courtesy of Norm, who assured them he had nothing to do with the predicament, and they calmed down a bit.

"Okay, Perry I gotta ask. What the heck were you doing in MY bed?", he asked.

"I.. have.. no idea..", Perry sighed with a slight groan.

"Do you ALWAYS do this or what?"

"...I think...", Perry's cheeks became pink. "I think what happened, is that see as a platypus, I have two owners. It's become habit for me to wake up and walk to the other so they could have a turn snuggling with their pet. SOMETIMES when I'm working late at night, I would come home and accidentally walk into their older sister's room and wind up on her bed."

"So you're saying you SLEEP WALK?", he asked in disbelief.

"Only cause I'm used to sleeping with someone. I-I swear, it has NOTHING to do with you! NO!.", Perry said flatly. "Just no! Ew!"

"Okay. I can.. I think I can believe that...", he said scratching the back of his neck.

After giving it thought, Doof began to snicker and Perry's eyebrows were pulled into a scowl.

"SHUT. UP. It's NOT funny.", he said through gritted teeth.

"No, I'm thinking how I can SERIOUSLY blackmail you for this stuff!", Doofenshmirtz said with a chuckle. Perry's eyes only narrowed further.

"Do that, and I'll tell EVERYONE in Lovemuffin how you wear MY face on YOUR boxers!"

"Oh come on Perry! Think about it! Mr. Cool-Breeze-James-Bond, and he's a snuggler!", he laughed.

"If you're gonna stoop THAT deep, maybe I should tell Peter the Panda how you've got HIS PICTURE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM."

Doofenshmirtz's face fell with fear as Perry only glared back.

"Yeah, I was wanting to ask WHY it's there...", he said with a slight huff as he looked away allowing himself to feel hurt now. "I thought I was your nemesis." 


	8. Chapter 8

When they returned from their shopping spree, Norm greeted them in his usual cheerful manner and already had a couple of sandwiches out ready for them. Perry chuckled as he picked one up seeing as Doof did the same.

"You know for a platypus, I can't be caught dead with a third meal in a day. A can in the morning, a can at night. MAYBE a snack if I'm a 'good' platypus.", he joked.

"Ha, really? Well you must always get a snack then.", Doof chuckled as he bit into the sandwich.

Perry only gave a weak chuckle.

"Yeeaaahh.. you'd think so..", he said feeling a little uncomfortable with the high expectation.

"Perry you don't actually tear up furniture or anything, right?", Doof asked before adding with a somewhat disgusted and surprised thought. "D-do you-?"

"NO! I'm housebroken.", he replied as his cheeks turned red. "And I certainly know a human's plumbing system. It's just sometimes they actually expect me to 'be more active' or 'go for a walk for exercise' when I'm already worn out with kicking your butt and staying in shape on my own."

"Ohh. Double life clashes, eh?"

"Almost constantly. I'm really actually lucky they don't suspect a thing."

"Ow. Well anyway.", he shrugged. "I'm gonna check out that new book I bought. Feel free to do whatever, Perry. You know what's where. Just..", he hesitated and looked away a bit. "...look if I catch you trying to take a peek at that picture again, I WILL make sure you pay!"

Perry raised his hands in mock defense.

"Fine fine. Just.."

"I DON'T want to talk about it..."

"Fine."

The day was quiet. Perry read an older newspaper about Phineas and Ferb creating a monster-go-kart race in their backyard while Doofenshmirtz flipped through his new book. After a while, though, his face crumpled into disappointment and he tossed the book aside.

"Well that was money wasted. He calls himself a doctor!", he grumbled.

"What's the prob?"

"He's trying to say that a true form of something or whatever is your 'inner animal' thingy that HIPPIES mention. Really? Come on, that's not gonna help me at all. I mean, it WOULD be kinda useful in some evil way, I'm sure, but it'd be too random of a selection and too risky for your brain, Perry.", he sighed. "I guess I'll go to the library when Vanessa comes over."

"Why wait till Vanessa's here?", he asked, not seeing the reasoning.

"Vanessa likes to check out goth books and whatever it is she reads when we go there. We used to go to get books for a bed-time story when she was little but then she got her own books to read by herself so when we go there, we get to spend time on the car trip and we get to get our own stuff for our own purposes. Friday's only a couple days away and the books aren't due back yet. It'll work out fine."

Perry only shrugged and returned reading the paper, chuckling a bit as he saw an article on Candace trying to bust them. As the day dragged on, Doofenshmirtz had brought out a few more books from his own collection and was trying hard to brain storm an idea of what the invention would look like. Often asking Perry for an opinion who opted to stay out of anything having to do with his inator-creating. Finally dinner came and then bed time. This time Perry hadn't fallen asleep at the table and Doof showed him to a guest room where Perry's new clothes had been placed. They went through the normal routine of brushing teeth and hair, Doof insisting that Perry brushed his own so he wouldn't hear the weird purr again, before exchanging nights and going to bed. The next morning however, was something that they both prayed would never happen again. Doof woke up to his annoying alarm clock and turned it off, his mind trying to shake off the fog surrounding it. He laid back down, promising himself he was only going to rest a few more minutes but what his tired eyes saw as he turned his head back around made him nearly gag. Perry was resting peacefully, a little disturbed by the blaring buzz. He stirred a bit and opened a sleepy eye to Heinz's shocked face and closed it again with a smile before quickly and suddenly becoming aware of the situation and how he was actually hugging the man he mistook for Phineas. They stared at each other for a moment before finally deciding to scream and push each other away. Perry hit the floor, and picked himself up, exclaiming in disgust as he proceeded to wipe off his blue-pajama'ed body and arms.

"EW! EW! EW! WHAT THE HECK?", he exclaimed.

"Yeah I should be asking that of you! Perry are you some sorta creep or something?"

"ME? Didn't YOU drag me here?"

"WHY would I wanna do THAT?", he cringed at the thought as his cheeks became red.

"Oh my gosh...", Perry groaned rubbing his eyes.

After the initial shock, they walked to the kitchen, still shuddering over the morning. Coffee was poured, having been pre-made courtesy of Norm, who assured them he had nothing to do with the predicament, and they calmed down a bit.

"Okay, Perry I gotta ask. What the heck were you doing in MY bed?", he asked.

"I.. have.. no idea..", Perry sighed with a slight groan.

"Do you ALWAYS do this or what?"

"...I think...", Perry's cheeks became pink. "I think what happened, is that see as a platypus, I have two owners. It's become habit for me to wake up and walk to the other so they could have a turn snuggling with their pet. SOMETIMES when I'm working late at night, I would come home and accidentally walk into their older sister's room and wind up on her bed."

"So you're saying you SLEEP WALK?", he asked in disbelief.

"Only cause I'm used to sleeping with someone. I-I swear, it has NOTHING to do with you! NO!.", Perry said flatly. "Just no! Ew!"

"Okay. I can.. I think I can believe that...", he said scratching the back of his neck.

After giving it thought, Doof began to snicker and Perry's eyebrows were pulled into a scowl.

"SHUT. UP. It's NOT funny.", he said through gritted teeth.

"No, I'm thinking how I can SERIOUSLY blackmail you for this stuff!", Doofenshmirtz said with a chuckle. Perry's eyes only narrowed further.

"Do that, and I'll tell EVERYONE in Lovemuffin how you wear MY face on YOUR boxers!"

"Oh come on Perry! Think about it! Mr. Cool-Breeze-James-Bond, and he's a snuggler!", he laughed.

"If you're gonna stoop THAT deep, maybe I should tell Peter the Panda how you've got HIS PICTURE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM."

Doofenshmirtz's face fell with fear as Perry only glared back.

"Yeah, I was wanting to ask WHY it's there...", he said with a slight huff as he looked away allowing himself to feel hurt now. "I thought I was your nemesis." 


	9. Chapter 9

Doof became worried as Perry only sighed some.

"Oh no no no! P-Perry, Perry the Platypus come on. You know you're my nemesis! I swear!"

"But you don't hate me enough to draw an arrow and a sword on MY picture...", he pouted a bit.

"NO. Perry. No no no, it's not that at all!", he said hoping to be reassuring. "Come on. Perry you know I hate you. Just that I was so mad at Peter after...THAT... That I was just THINKING about killing him. Perry I attempt to kill you every DAY! You know that! Come on. Perry the Platypus, I couldn't hate anyone else other than you.", he placed a hand on Perry's shoulder and after a moment Perry turned around and punched him in the face, causing Doof's nose to nearly break.

They smiled a bit at each other feeling somewhat better about themselves and Heinz stood up, wiping the blood off.

"I don't forgive you.", Perry said.

"Curse you Perry the Platypus.", Heinz simply replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take care of my nose-ache now while crying in pain."

He went off and after the bleeding had stopped, returned to find Perry wasn't in the living room. He looked around a bit before finding him in the main lab where he and Norm were engaged in a battle. He watched for a bit as Norm attempted to hit Perry with one of his lasers again and again only to miss repeatedly. He smiled some remembering how Perry would often pull the same judo maneuvers on him and would probably kick his head off like he did Norm and such. Perry finally landed after finishing off the fallen robot and stood up, rubbing the back of his neck.

'It's just not the same as back in the base...', he thought to himself, missing the simpler way of life.

He heard clapping and looked over to find it was Dr. D who only walked in and picked up Norm's head.

"Now if only I wasn't able to reattach this.", he chuckled. "You really DO work out, huh?"

"Better than what your little exercise videos offer.", Perry smiled. "But you know, Norm's slow and bulky. It'd be nicer to have a sparring partner that actually whined when you hit him and bruised like a peach."

"Ha ha Perry. I'm not really in the mood to fight actually. Besides, you break more than my nose and I won't be able to build the trueforminator, don't you forget. Maybe later I'll whip up an evil scheme for us. In the meantime, why don't we get breakfast, and I dunno, we'll think of something till I can finally get the prints designed."

"Sheesh, how long does it take to draw a few sketches? And besides, don't you often steal other people's designs?"

"Well normally I would but like you said, no evil. Maybe I could ask one of the other doctors from Lovemuffin for a little help. I know I HAVE the idea, it's just I don't really know WHAT the idea is yet. You know? I mean like, once it finally hits, it'll probably be one of my best inators ever!"

"Whatever.", Perry rolled his eyes. "Sorry Doc but I'm not the evil type, remember? Don't really understand."

"Well I'll see what the others have to say. I think today we'll go out for lunch instead of eating Norm's junk."

"Sure I guess.", Perry shrugged as they headed out.

Later on that day, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was conversing with Rodney via Skype when Perry came into the room.

"Hey Heinz.", Perry greeted.

"Perry!", Doof welcomed.

"'Perry'?", Rodney questioned.

"Rodney?", Perry pondered walking around to the computer screen. He turned to Doof. "Doofus?"

"'Doofus'?", Rodney repeated with a small laugh.

"Rodney..", Doofenshmirtz said in a warning tone.

"Doof.", Perry said, trying to catch his attention.

"Perry..", Heinz started to say.

"Fraggles!", Norm suddenly chimed in from behind them.

The trio turned around on Norm, staring at him with perplexed expressions.

"Norm!", Doofenshmirtz said in slight embarrassment.

"Dad!", Norm said happily.

"'Dad'?", Rodney asked.

"Can it.", Doof said quickly. "Anyway Perry, good thing you came in. I was just telling Rodney how I turned you into a human."

"Wait... so you're just gonna go around bragging about how you turned your nemesis into a human?", Perry assumed.

"Yes and exactly how evil is that?", Rodney asked.

"Well Perry, exactly how much free will do you have now?", he asked Perry.

"Well I know that unless you want me to bust your teeth, you're gonna get off and grab the keys so we can go get a burger.", Perry stated simply.

Heinz felt his cheeks burn a little from embarrassment as Rodney snickered but he simply tapped the table with his hands, trying to keep his cool.

"Alright, and if you bust my teeth, I'll just never turn you back!", he replied.

Perry's eyes widened a bit at the threat and knew he had no other choice but to listen. He sighed exasperatedly and stormed out hating it how Doofenshmirtz had the upper hand.

"Just hurry up will ya?", he said.

"Right.", Doof said. "Well listen Rodney I gotta go. Not that I care about Perry or anything, just that I'm hungry too."

"Farewell then.", Rodney stated and with that his face disappeared from the screen and Doofenshmirtz shut the laptop.

They headed out and Perry sighed a bit in the car ride.

"...You know it's not really fair for you to hold the trueforminator over my head.", he said.

"Well Perry, first of all, how fair am I and secondly, it was pretty embarrassing for you to just waltz in while I was asking Rodney for help and threaten me to get you some food."

"Heinz it's 4 o'clock. I've been waiting for you to get off for 4 hours. I mean sorry but I AM kinda hungry and you DID say we were gonna go get something to eat today. I mean by this time, the boys' mom would already have dinner being practically done. I think it's meatloaf tonight."

"Wait... Your family is on SUCH a routine that you can predict everything they're doing at the exact moment? Even down to what they're having for dinner?"

Perry shrugs.

"I guess here and there. But the most of the routine is the boys wake up, start working on 'making the most of Summer Vacation' by building some sorta amazing contraption. I sneak off to Monogram, their sister tries to bust them while I'm being trapped, rambled to, and fighting with you. Come back. Their thing is gone and their mom nor dad have any clue. Then we normally have snacks. Or Dinner if Linda's kept late enough."

"Wow. Sounds like that would be hard on their sister. You know speaking of her, she really reminds me of someone...", Perry became a little worried as he remembered their adventure to the second dimension. "I can't quite put my finger on it though... Which is odd cause normally I recognize all sorts of people. Oh well."

He shrugged and they pulled up to the parking lot of Mr. Slushydawg and walked in. 


	10. Chapter 10

As they were eating, they were trying to keep the conversation casual, hoping not to get on more touchy subjects like earlier, when Doofenshmirtz mentioned movies.

"Soo.. Hey have you ever seen uh.. what was it?", he snapped his fingers trying to remember. "Vanessa liked to watch it.. Something about a bloody hand and a mass murderer or whatever. Some horror flick she and her friends like to watch when they hang out."

"Uh.. No..", Perry said wondering why Doofenshmirtz would even ask him something like that. "I've actually never seen horror flicks before."

"REALLY!", Doof was surprised and thought for a moment he'd choke on the french fries. "But you're Perry the Platypus! Suave and daring secret agent. I thought for sure you've seen horror flicks."

Perry shrugged.

"Well it's not like the Organization really holds movie-nights or anything."

"Oh man! You have GOT to at least watch the classics! You'll love them, Perry. I'm sure of it!"

"Sure sure but uh.. They don't ALL involve bloody hands, right?"

"Well one or two, but they vary a bit. Vampires. Zombies. Mass murders and haunting ghosts. Suicides. It's really fun sometimes."

Perry slumped a bit with the thought. His stomach flipped a little.

"Ehh.. I'm starting to question human beings' terms of 'fun'..."

"No I mean it's fun to get scared watching it. It's like you should videotape yourself watching it so you can go back and laugh at how scared you got over watching a movie!", he chuckled.

Perry only shrugged again.

"Well.. I'll give it a shot I guess."

They finished up and headed back. At the mention of the selection of movies, Norm decided to go to bed early which only pushed Perry's worry even more. Doofenshmirtz went and came back soon with a pile of DVDs that he sat ontop of the TV while he put one in.

"You mean to tell me you've never watched a horror film before?", Doof asked as they sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a case of soda cans.

"Not unless you count Henry Pendragon as a horror flick.", he said with a shrug. "The kids are too young for the stuff and I'm normally too tired after kicking your butt all day long to stay up and watch any."

"Well then Perry, prepare yourself for the thrill of a life-time!", Doof said excitedly. "I've got 'The Killing', 'What did you do last Friday', 'Gore and-'..." he trailed off, feeling uncomfortable of the next word. "'...Love'..., 'Zombie Apocolypse 1-5'," Perry raised his eyebrows, surprised at the amount of films he's listing. "'Rise of the Dead', 'Small store of terror', '3013', and 'Freak'!"

"Wow. That's a LOOOT of movies for one night."

"That's why we're starting this at 6 instead of at 9.", he explained.

"And you're sure none of this is going to make you wet the bed?", Perry asked with a chuckle as Doofenshmirtz's face became slightly pink.

"I'm a man. Not a schnitzle.", he muttered more to himself than to Perry. "Besides, it's not like I haven't seen these movies before."

"When did you last watch them?"

"Uh...", he flashed back to when he was 20 and finally living on his own for the first time and how he was so scared he threw all his horror films into the freezer until this very night. "...Not to long ago."

Perry shrugged again and Doof started the movie. The two watched in anticipation for a while. Some time later on in the marathon, Perry had moved himself to the floor, watching with wide eyes at the scene in the movie as Doofenshmirtz felt his stomach flip for the hundredth time.

"I thought you said you loved me!", a woman on TV screamed.

"I do love you... Love your blood that is...", a man replied coyly.

Moments later the horrors were still going on and by now Doofenshmirtz's skin was pale, clamy, and covered in cold sweat as he shifted uncomfortably again in his seat while Perry opened another can of soda to drink with a wide smile on his face from the excitement in the movie. When the films were finally through with and the refreshments were gone, Doofenshmirtz was seriously considering the thought of throwing the DVDs into a freezer again while Perry stood up with a stretch.

"Wow! That was amazing!", Perry said, completely unaffected by the massive gore and death within the movies. "Thanks for sharing them with me, Heinz."

"N-n-no problem...", he said as he stood up, shaking from head to toe.

"You okay? You look pretty pale."

"I-I'm fine. Yeah. You know it's- ppft! I-I wasn't scared or anything."

Perry shrugged.

"Well anyway..", he saw the clock on the wall. "Oh geez, it's 11:45 already. Man weren't you right about starting early? Well guess we should call it a night."

"Uh.. Y-yeah.. Night Perry.", Doof said, hoping to hide his paranoia as he headed out the room.

"Night. And hey,", Doof turned around, waiting for what Perry was going to say next. Perry only smiled from ear to ear. "better not let those zombies get in."

He laughed some and Heinz faked a chuckle but quickly headed out of the room, trying to forget about the undead. He got dressed for bed, telling himself again and again that the movies weren't real and that there wasn't any mass murderers or vampires or undead that was out trying to kill him. He got into bed and turned out the light, but unfortunately found himself unable to sleep as fear only continued to tear away at him.

'...Darn it why did I show him those movies?', he thought miserably to himself.

He tossed and turned about, trying all of what few comforting memories he had to calm him down and every way imaginable to reason with reality of the impossibility of zombies opening doors and gnawing on his flesh. The clock on his bedside table only ticked away the time and before Dr. D really knew it, it had struck 3 and still not a wink of sleep. Even on the floor. He sighed, remembering the times that he was scared when he was little and how he would hold onto his pet cockroach or a stuffed animal he made for himself. A pillow, something to hold onto for safety. He remembered the last few nights when Perry was asleep next to him and how Perry would hold onto him like that and then something occoured to him.

'Hey, where's Perry?', he thought to himself.

He knew it would be rather low, embarrassing, and creepy as all get out for Heinz to want to sleep with Perry for the night, but he knew he hadn't tried everything to get some sleep and besides, Perry would've normally climbed in by now anyway. He got dressed and came out of the bedroom, looking down the darkened hallway, not hearing a single noise. Almost spooky for the DEI to be like this, but he shrugged it off knowing the movies were worse. He tiptoed down the hall, still pondering why Perry wasn't walking around yet. When he came to the lower levels via elevator he heard a rustling noise down the hall opposite of where Perry was sleeping. He looked down, unsure of what could be moving around at this time of night if not Perry. He thought for a moment about just shrugging it off, allowing himself to think it was his mind playing tricks on him when there was a loud thud and he knew it wasn't imaginary. Heinz crept down the hall, his curiosity growing by the minute. When he was at arm's length of the door it suddenly crashed open with a body falling out on it. Doof yelped and jumped back in surprise but when he turned on the hallway light and saw it was Perry and that everything was alright, he relaxed some and chuckled a bit.

"Oh good! I was just coming to look for you, Perry!", he said.

Perry stood up, unresponsive to what Doofenshmirtz said and lifted his head up with a glassy look in his narrowed eyes. He pulled something out of his pocket and Heinz was a bit surprised to find it was his ray gun.

"Perry? Wh-what are you..?"

"You stole her.. You stole my wife.", Perry said, his voice somewhat menacing.

"Your wife?", Doof asked, unsure of what Perry was saying.

"Don't lie to me! I saw you two making out!", Perry yelled throwing Doof more and more into confusion.

"W-wait! P-Perry the-!"

Before he could say another word, Perry pulled the trigger on the gun. The laser fortunately missed Doof's head as he jumped to the side.

"WHOA! Perry the Platypus what's gotten into you!", he screamed in terror.

Perry didn't respond but continued to blast away, trying to hit Heinz in the head. Doof began to run away with Perry chasing after him not very far behind.

"P-Perry I swear! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Come back here you-!"

"Perry I didn't even know you had a wife!"

He finally turned a corner, pressing himself against the wall, panting hard from the chase scene. He held his breath as Perry's footsteps came closer and closer. Perry finally turned the corner and for a moment, Doofenshmirtz shut his eyes, afraid that he was a goner when he heard Perry snore. He looked at the man who stood there for a moment, snoring with his eyes closed and head hung.

'...He's sleepwalking?', he thought to himself. 'Maybe I should scoot now.'

Doofenshmirtz began to edge away when the ray gun dropped from Perry and blasted once more hitting Doofenshmirtz square in the backside.

"OW!", he yelped as he began to scurry off to the bathroom.

Moments later, Doofenshmritz was wondering around the DEI, unsure of where Perry is now that he's out. His heart pounded as he remembered Perry's sudden behavior in the hallway.

'It's like he doesn't even remember who I was.', he thought to himself. 'I never heard of Perry having a wife and why on earth would I steal her from him? Really now. But there's something familiar to what he was saying. Where did I...?'

It suddenly came back to him. The horror movies. One of the scenes was with a man who was going to kill another dude for making out with his wife.

"He's horror-movie-walking!", Doof exclaimed in sudden realization.

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and he froze with fear as a light australian accented voice whispered into his ear.

"'Hello delicious...'", Perry quoted.

Doof yelped and backed away quickly, turning around as he did so.

"P-Perry the Platyhuman you need to wake up! NOW!", he said, backing up as Perry came closer. "Y-You're only dreaming about vampires! You're not really one!"

Perry suddenly pounced on Doof, not only pinning him to the floor but also biting on his neck which caused him to both blush and cry out in pain.

"OW! C-come on Perry! You gotta wake up! Darn it why can't you have just crawled into bed?", he said flailing about, unsure of really how to feel at this point.

Perry paid no attention but went on dreaming and Doofenshmirtz could tell he was in for a long night. The next morning Perry stretched out on the couch and smacked his lips as he woke up. He finally let go of the throw pillow he was hugging and sat up, scratching the back of his head a bit.

'Man, did I sleep good.', he thought happily to himself. 'Wonder how I got on the couch though.. Oh well.'

He walked out into the kitchen where he saw pots and pans and cups and other various things strewn about the room and looked around in some surprise.

"Dr. D?", he asked looking around. 'Who did this?'

He heard a small noise and turned to the direction of its location. After a moment of following it, he found it being a rattling noise and soon came upon a closet where it emitted from. Perry paused for a moment but then decided to open the closet only to find Doofenshmirtz tumbling out of it with torn clothes, bright red scabs, bruises, and a black eye. His lab coat was missing as well.  
>"Dr. Doofenshmirtz?", Perry exclaimed as Doof picked himself up with a cough.<br>Doof's head instantly flew up at the sound of Perry's voice and he yelped, turning around to face Perry, scooting back on the floor.

"G-G-Get back!", he stammered, his voice higher than normal and full of fear.

"Heinz, it's me, Perry.", he said unsure of what's going on.

"ARE you?"

"Yes! And to prove it, I know you have boxers with my platypus face on them."

Doofenshmirtz forgot to blush but instead stood up, his blood boiling with building rage.

"That's the LAST time I show YOU horror flicks!", he said.

"What?", Perry said, completely dumbfounded.

"Perry, you know how you sleep walk at night?", Doof said, wiping up a little blood from his chin.

"Yeah?"

"Well let's say that I will NEVER use the Turn-Everything-Evilinator on you! I swear on it!", he explained.

Perry's eyes widened a bit, surprised at the news.

"What? Y-You mean that I..?", he asked, pointing at himself. Doof only nodded and Perry's eyes became even wider. "Oh man..."

"You almost KILLED me last night with the kitchen knives and then threw me into the closet and of course I wasn't going to come out with you on the loose!"

"Wow... Geez, I'm sorry. I-I didn't know.", Perry shrugged helplessly.

"It's alright but if you do it again, I'm tossing you outside."

"Fair enough. I...", he shook his head, trying to understand this. "Really?"

"YES.", Doof nodded.

"Sorry..."

Perry noticed small red rash-like marks on Doof's neck and his eyes widened a bit with horror.

"Uh... Doof? A-are those...?"

Heinz quickly slapped a hand over one of them as his face turned bright red.

"Yeah you're definitely not watching 'Gore and Love', either!", he said in full humiliation. "In fact NOTHING above PG-13 for you! At all!"

Perry's entire face flushed and glowed with a bright red color.

"Oh my gosh...", he muttered as he smacked his head into his hands.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get ready to pick up Vanessa before the day passes away. And by the way, your boxers with MY face on them are finally dry.", he turned back with a smirk. "I saw them in the laundry basket when Norm walked by me yesterday.

Perry's eyes widened as he heard Doofenshmirtz mention them. The exact reason of WHY he didn't want him to look when he DID take them off. Doofenshmirtz would've laughed at Perry's face being even redder than it already was, but his mind was distracted with Vanessa and with that, he went off to the bathroom to treat the wounds and freshen up before getting her. 


	11. Chapter 11

"I have to admit Dad," Vanessa said while they were driving back to the DEI, "I am glad that you're going to hold to your promise today and not let your work get in the way of my visit."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's heart leaped up to his throat and then dropped way down low in him as he remembered Perry still being a human.

"I.. I did?", he asked, his voice cracking up a little more than usual.

"Yeah, remember? We had it notarized.", Vanessa explained. She noticed her father tensing up a bit and sighed, leaning back in her seat. "Dad, you aren't planning ANOTHER stupid evil invention today, RIGHT?"

"Wh-who, me?", He forced a laugh. "Ha! L-Like I would forget our NOTARIZED promise! I swear Vanessa, there's NOTHING evil today. Not a thing!"

"Honest?"

"Vanessa, Perry the Platypus will not make any appearance at ALL." He tried to smile confidently. "I promise."

She smiled some and when they pulled up to their parking space, she went to the trunk to get her stuff while Doofenshmirtz quickly opened his door, tripping over his seat-belt as he tried to get out. He unfastened it and dashed inside the building after calling out, "I'll be right back Vanessa, there's just one small thing, Daddy, wants to take care of right quick."

Meanwhile Perry had been watching TV, trying to find something entertaining and keeping things simple. Suddenly Doofenshimirtz bursted into the room with a frightened and panicked look across his face. Perry suddenly stood up, alarmed at the doctor.

"What-?", he began but before anything else could be said, Doofenshmirtz pushed against Perry's back moving him along. "Wha-? Doofenshmirtz what the heck is going on?"

He was suddenly shoved in a closet and the door was locked. Vanessa soon came up, looking around curiously.

"Dad, was there someone here with you?", she asked.

"Uh.. Nooo...", he said with a nervous chuckle.

"Funny... I thought I heard another voice.", she shrugged. "Well, anyway, I'm going to put my clothes up in my room. Be back later."

He nodded and once she left the room he quickly unlocked the door and opened it to find Perry glaring up at him from where he fell.

"Perry the Platyhuman, you'll be okay here for the week, right?", he asked with a sheepish smile.

"You have GOT to be kidding me.", Perry replied as he pushed aside a fallen over broom and stood up. "Doofenshmirtz, I'm going to ask this one more time and if you lock this door again, I WILL break it down for an answer. WHAT is going ON?"

Doof sighed, feeling completely defeated by both his daughter and nemesis.

"Look Perry, Vanessa's visiting."

"Yeah?"

"And I promised her that I wouldn't be evil."

"Keep going..."

"And that you, Major Monogram, NOTHING about my job would come up. It would JUST be the two of us. A Daddy-Daughter-ONLY weekend. Nothing about you, Monobrow, or Dr. Coconuts."

"Oh.", Perry finally caught on and his eyes widened a bit with understanding of Doof's problem. "So..."

"If she found out you were here, she could never see me again. Perry, she's my only child. I want to make sure she has a loving and supporting father always there for her, you know? Unlike MY dad. I slip up one more time and she could hate me for the rest of her life."

"...Wow... Really?"

"Well yeah. I mean if I made a special promise to YOU and broke it, wouldn't you hate me too?"

"I already hate you."

"Do you understand anything of what I'm saying?", he glared at Perry some and Perry chuckled with a nod.

"Yeah, I get it. Hey, look man, I really understand."

"How could you understand?"

"Well let's just say one slip of me being Agent Perry the Platypus of Owca, and my family... With any luck they'd only forget the day they heard..."

Perry's head hung some and he stared at the floor while Doof's eyes took a turn at becoming wide.

"Oh...kay.. A little deeper than I was expecting but yeah, you get the point.", he said with a shrug.

"But I can't hide in a closet all day. I mean, really, if you promised Vanessa I wouldn't be here, why did you turn me into a human YESTERDAY?"

"Look, I don't plan very well! I forgot and I can't work on the transforminator, NOW. She'll count it as working!"

"Doof, she's gonna have to face facts and hopefully she'll be understanding that it slipped your mind and not hate you.", Perry sighed as he folded his arms on his chest.

After a moment, Doofenshmirtz heaved a sigh, letting his shoulders drop while saying, "Yeah.. But how can I bring it up to her so she wouldn't freak out at me?"

Perry thought it over in his mind for a moment but unfortunately the moment didn't last long as footsteps were heard in the hall and Doofenshmirtz quickly shoved Perry back in the closet. Perry sighed in slight exasperation as he rolled his eyes in the dark. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz took a few large steps over to a counter so as to appear that he was busy. He leaned against it, hoping to look casual.

"Okay. So what do you wanna do, Dad?", Vannesa asked.

"Uh... Actually why not we uh.. go to the store! We need to pick up a few things for dinner and hey, you can even pick out a snack we can have if you want!"

"That sounds good.", she smiled and they head out.

When they left the room, Perry came tumbling out of the closet and rubbed his sore head from hitting the wall when shoved into it. They returned later on and Perry wasn't too surprised, watching them pull up from one of the many windows. He had already found a place to hide and did so accordingly, awaiting for a chance to talk to his nemesis. When they walked inside, Vanessa said she was gonna hang out in her room till dinner was done and Heinz agreed happily and quickly walked into the living room looking around for Perry.

"Perry? She's gone.", he said hoping she wasn't about to find him.

Perry closed the door behind the doctor from which he was hiding behind and caused Doof to turn around in slight shock.

"Oh! Okay good.", he placed a hand on his chest as he relaxed a bit. "Now what are we gonna do about Vanessa? I can't make dinner for two when there's 3."

"Well now I've got an idea about that.", Perry said with a smile.

A little while later, after dinner was finished and left overs were put away, Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa were sitting at the table in the dining room, Vanessa reading a book and Doofenshmirtz seemingly a little antsy as he continued to check his watch. It wasn't long until there was a knock on the door and Doofenshmirtz instantly popped up.

"I'll get it!", he told Norm who was also heading for the door. "Norm! Beat it!"

"Why must I always be left out?", Norm sighed.

He walked away and Doofenshmirtz opened the door a crack, glaring down at Perry.

"You're 5 minutes late."

"You're in need of tictacs." Perry replied.

Doof swung the door opened, putting on a smile for his act.

"Oh what do you know! Come on in. Vanessa, I want you to meet someone."

Vanessa looked up from her book at the tall man with blue hair. He seemed familiar to her but she wasn't sure how.

"Hello there, ma'am.", Perry said extending his hand which Vanessa took to shake.

"Vanessa, this is Perry the P-", he stopped as Perry and Vanessa looked at Heinz, Vanessa practically hearing "platypus" coming next. "...Person. My room mate!", Doof covered over.

"He-he's visiting here for a little while so I'm sorry he's here during our weekend."

"Perry? That's funny, my dad has a nemesis named Perry.", she said eyeing the man suspiciously.

"Really? Uh.. Small world.", Perry said sitting down.

Doofenshmirtz sat on the other side.

"Must be if your accent's...Australian?"

"Uh, pretty much. I was born and raised some in Australia, I grew up mainly in America."

"Mm.. So.. How do you two know each other?", Vanessa asked. "Dad, you never mentioned another person named Perry."

"Oh! Yeah well we met in high school-"

"College.", Perry said over top of him, glaring across the table. "Don't confuse the two now...ROOMY. It was Freshman-"

"Sophomore year.", Doof corrected who also narrowed his eyes towards his "roommate". "Talk about mixing time, eh?"

"I thought I was a Freshman and you were Sophomore.", Perry said crossing his arms.

"Right. Right, that's how it was.", Doof said, rolling his eyes. 'Geez, anything to get this over good.'

'Anything to make it sound like I didn't know him for forever.', Perry groaned in his mind.

"So... then what do you do?", Vanessa asked.

"I'm uh.. I'm-I'm in between jobs..at the moment." Perry lied. "That's...actually why I'm here with Do- Heinz. Your dad..Who's...told me gret stories about you."

Vanessa stared at him for a moment before shrugging it off.

"Right anyway. So why here?"

"Cause...", Perry looked at Doofenshmirtz for help, but he only shrugged unsure of how to. "I was hoping to...find...some...advice?"

Perry mentally killed himself as Heinz's and Vanessa's eyes widened a bit with the response.

'You just HAD to say "I want advice from the man who fails at everything!", huh Perry?', Perry thought to himself.

"..About what?" Vanessa asked, now completely bewildered.

"About..." Perry thought for a moment, desperately trying to find something.

It was moments later that Perry held his head in his hands bawling his eyes out while Heinz and Vanessa tried to comfort him.

"I- I just don't understand!", Perry said between sobs. "I-I try to be good to Penny! I do! I'm always there for her! I ask her if she wants to do anything on the weekend but, NOOOO. Heaven forbid she's seen with ME anymore!"

"No no, Perry it's okay!", Doof said rubbing his back.

"'If not this week, how about next week?' I ask! 'No, I'm busy.' she says! WHY! OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE WHY!", Perry continued to bawl.

Vanessa handed him a tissue and Perry proceeded to blow his nose while she offered a bowl of ice-cream.

"C-come on Perry.", she said reassuringly. "It'll help."

Perry only unceremoniously collapsed his head into the bowl, still sobbing over his troublesome relationship.

"You know, the problem isn't you.", Doof said.

"It..it's not?" Perry sniffed not looking up.

"No, of course not. Penny is NOT giving you the kinda love you deserve. You say you're always there for her? Well then it's her fault for not thinking that's at least NICE of you."

"...Norm what did you put into this ice-cream?", Perry finally asked.

"Peanuts!", Norm replied cheerfully.

"Why does Norm love everything to be crunchy?", Vanessa softly asked her father.

"I think it's the squirrel.", he replied, shaking his head.

"It's delicious, thank you..", Perry sobbed.

When Perry seemed calmed down a bit, still slightly sobbing some and eating the ice-cream face-first, Doofenshmirtz tried to console him again.

"So, Perry? If and when you and Penny decide to break up-"

Perry snapped in an instant and began to bawl instantly. He lifted his head sky-ward as ice-cream dripped off his face.

"WHY? WHY OH WHY MUST IT BE?"

He dropped his head into his arms on the table and continued to cry. Vanessa and Norm glared at Heinz for a moment.

"...What?", he asked with a shrug.

"Nice...", they said.

They got up and left the room and Doofenshmirtz sighed leaning his elbow on the table with his head in his hand watching his nemesis cry over the female platypus Heinz himself trained especially to fall in love with him.

"...You know it's not really a big issue.", he said plainly.

Perry lifted his head, taking a couple of tissues to wipe the ice-cream off his face with.

"Oh no, I know.", he said calmly, catching Doof by surprise.

"...That was really good acting!", he said with smile.

"Thanks. You'd be surprised what you learn at the OWCA with their 'uncool acronyms.'" Perry said wipping away his fake tears.

Doofenshmirtz chuckled.

"So how IS Penny?"

"Uh..." Perry raised an eyebrow at Doofenshmirtz, waiting for his memory to catch up. When it didn't he decided to give the answer. "We broke up? Remember? When I refused to stop you instead of stopping our date, she got mad and came over to kick your butt herself?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, slipped my mind."

"Yeah." Perry sighed a little dreamily. "Man, was she a gorgeous platypus or what?"

"Riiiight.", Doof said rolling his eyes.

"I miss her but you know, there's always other fish to catch."

"I guess that's where your little fellow agents would call you 'James Bond', eh?", Doof joked.

"Actually yeah.", Perry said causing Heinz to raise an eyebrow in slight surprise. "Come on, Heinz, she wasn't the first girl I dated. Just the first one to actually win my heart. But after going through dozens of others, I kinda earned a reputation for not sticking to just one. So I'm not particularly worried about loosing her really. Besides,", he leaned back in his chair as his mind wandered on about her as a smile spread across his face. "I know she still likes me."

"And...how many other enemies did you go through before me?", Doof asked.

"My one and only.", Perry replied with a hand extended to Doofenshmirtz. "There's no one I hate more than you."

"Oh stop with the flattery, Perry the Human.", Doof chuckled.

"No seriously. I didn't have another nemesis before you. Sure I fought one or two once, but not really a nemesis. More like warm-ups. Practices before I was really assigned to you. Like what Peter the-"

He cut off as Doofenshmirtz glanced at him. They both remembered the time and the awkward situation of back then and Perry decided not to go there again with Doof.

"...You get it.", Perry finally said.

"...Right.", Heinz replied.

Perry glared at him as Heinz returned it with a smirk.

"I hate you."

"You too, Perry." 


	12. Chapter 12

Perry chuckled and went to the fridge to pull out that night's dinner while Doofenshmirtz relaxed in his chair, glad he listened to Perry's plan for the lie. For once it seemed like things were going good. His daughter was wrapped up with her friends so she's staying in her room a lot and while she DOES believe that Perry was his roomate, she DOESN'T think he'll be up to anything evil. And best of all was that there would be a new episode of "All my Puggles" and it seemed that for the first time in his life, everything was going good. At that moment, Vanessa stepped into the room with something of a smirk on her face.

"By the way...", she called out to her dad. "That was a really convincing act from you and Perry the Platypus!"

Doofenshmirtz fell backwards off his chair, surprised that his daughter caught them. She chuckled seeing her dad become flustered. He quickly stood up waving his arms back and forth to emphasize what he was saying.

"No no! I-It's not like that at ALL Vanessa! Heh heh! Wh-wh-why would you think...", his face and arms fell as his worry grew. "...How did you figure it out?"

"Dad, come on. Australian man with blue hair and brown eyes named 'Perry' who has a girlfriend named 'Penny' pretending to be an old friend from college? Please.. Not to mention Norm told me after we left.", her smirk disappeared into a stern expression. "But you ARE gonna change him back, right? I don't have to spend the WHOLE week listening to you two bicker and fight, right?"

"Honey, I've been trying to find a way how to do that what since the transforminator blew up. I'm really sorry that Perry's here when I promised you he wouldn't be but I kinda forgot it was our weekend and that I actually made that kind of a promise when I was turning Perry the Platypus into a human.", Heinz's shoulders slumped as he sat in his chair. "You can go on and hate me if you wanna. Again, I'm sorry. Really I am but if you're mad at me, I'm not to surprised..."

Vanessa's expression softened and she walked over and gave him a small hug. A choice of action, Doof really wasn't expecting.

"Dad, I am mad at you for forgetting and lying to me, AGAIN for the upteenth time, but I'm happy that you're trying to help Perry instead of trapping him as a human."

Doof smiled and hugged his daughter's arms. After the moment passed, she explained how she'd be in her room and left her father and Perry to watch their soap. During a commercial break Perry was laughing at a joke Doof pulled on what the characters were doing and such and he paused for a moment, mentally, realizing actually how nice it was to just relax and have fun. As a matter of fact, being here with Dr. D and seeing him laugh and smile like this, forgetting their daily fights and quarrels... Maybe they had been doing that the whole time this Summer. When they weren't fighting, they generally had a good time. Even when Perry was trapped and listening to the ramblings, he didn't just pass them off like Doof claimed he did. He listened. Sometimes he had to keep busy while the doctors was talking but still. It was kinda like they weren't each other's nemesis, but perhaps something actually a little more. Perry even dared to think that maybe, if he stayed a human... They could be even more than that. Maybe-

"..Doncha think?", Heinz's voice cut through his thoughts and Perry blinked, snapping out of it.

"..What?", Perry asked shaking his head a bit to clear his thoughts. 'It's stupid Perry. You're only staying cause he could turn you back into a platypus. Phineas, Ferb, and Major Monogram need you back.'

"I was saying I think that Heather could do a heck of a lot better going out with Fred than with Derek. Don't you agree?"

"Uhh.. Yeah. I guess.", Perry shrugged. "I'm uh, gonna go get some water."

Doof nodded while Perry walked off.

"Kay. But hurry back. Commercials don't last forever.", Heinz called back.

Perry sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't sure why he was possibly thinking that he and Dr. D could be friends. Sure they weren't exactly enemies but friends? Perry wouldn't live to see that day. Maybe there was something in the middle. Perry's mind trailed onto remembering seeing Doofenshmirtz actually laugh and get excited and actually enjoying himself with him. It made him smile a bit to himself. It seemed like in those times, Doof, though not exactly the least bit of anything like his brother Roger, was kinda cute. Those times he would stammer because he was nervous or knew he was in trouble about something, how he would get all excited over a Spanish soap he doesn't even know the real plot to, when he would cry cause his inators blew up and then pretend NOT to be, when he bursts into a Broadway type of song, when he was over caring for Vanessa, Perry found himself chuckling at these thoughts. When the doctor wasn't trying to be evil, he was actually rather fun to be with. Perry felt a weird tingle in his chest and quickly shook his head, shocked at the internal reaction.

'Whoa whoa whoa! No no no. I am NOT even GOING there!', Perry thought to himself as he finally finished pouring his drink and putting the pitcher in the fridge. 'Perry come on! That's what you felt for Penny! NOT Dr. Doofenshnmirtz!'

Perry walked back in and watched as Doofenshmirtz was biting down on a pillow to prevent him screaming at the TV show. Another tingle ripped through Perry and he quickly shooke his head in frustration and sat the glass on a nearby table. He stormed off mentally scolding himself which caught Doofenshmirtz's attention as he walked past.

"Perry? Hey what's wrong?", he got up and starting following after. "Y-you're gonna miss the show."

Perry stopped and turned around, staring at the floor so as not to look at Doof.

"I'm just.. really tired right now. I'm gonna turn in early tonight."

Dr. D's shoulders slumped a little and he felt a twinge of concern in him.

"Oh.. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine...", Perry said while thinking to himself, 'NO. I'm getting weak-kneed in the most disgusting way imaginable!'

"Oh.. Kay. Sorry you seemed kinda mad... Was it something I said?"

"NO.", Perry said with a sigh of frustration glaring up at him now. "I'm tired. It's been a bit of a long day for me today. I'm just gonna turn in early. And if you find me in your bed tonight, feel free to slug me hard and shove me out."

He walked out while Doofenshmirtz was left feeling somewhat confused.

'What's up with Perry? Is he really that mad that I was telling Rodney about him? I mean sure I was a little proud how I got him under MY thumb this time but still.. I was gonna ask for help till Perry reminded me of lunch. And then the lie earlier.. I hope he's not mad at me for shoving him in a closet cause you know, he's done it to me!'

The doctor sighed and walked back to the TV. He idly picked up the remote and turned it off, telling himself he'll watch the re-run.

'I dunno, maybe I should be getting a move on the Trueforminator. I guess maybe I'm hurting Perry more than I thought by keeping him here as a human.. But it seemed like we were having so much fun. Although I gotta admit, it WASN'T fun nearly being killed by the kitchen's knives.', he chuckled a bit at the memory of Perry's reaction to hearing he did that. 'I guess I'm gonna just try throwing something together and see how the form of the Trueforminator comes out.'

And with that he got to work but only a little since bed time came up for him all too quickly. 


	13. Chapter 13

Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Human were staring at each other, waiting for the other to make their move. The tension was so great, you could literally feel it in the room as they had broken up in their fight. Doof's heart was pounding hard and his eyes darted across the room, looking for something, anything to turn the tide in his favor. He kept looking back at Perry to make sure he was there and was curious what Perry's next move would be. When he felt like he finally found something that could help him, Perry quickly broke out into a dash and pounced on Doofenshmirtz, sending the two of them to the ground and they quickly began to roll across the floor, punching and kicking, trying to pin one another. Perry finally caught the upper hand for only a brief moment before Doofenshmirtz pulled back his arm and punched Perry in the jaw, sending him flying back some. Perry sat up, wiping the blood off his mouth but wasn't able to act fast enough as Doofenshmirtz jumped on him and pinned him down finally. Doofenshmirtz chuckled evily and Perry turned his head away, understanding he had been defeated in this fight.

"It looks like I finally win Perry the Looser-pus!", he said triumphantly.

Perry sighed but then did something...odd. He smiled. Before Doof knew it he was even laughing a little bit.

"After all this time.. I didn't think you were capable of actually stopping me.", Perry said, smiling up at Doof. "And this time you're stopping me before I even start."

Doofenshmirtz heard his heart in his ears as they began to burn. Perry's eyes drooped a little and suddenly, it didn't matter to Doof. The fight, the long struggle to rule the Tri-State Area, his past, his hatred for everyone and everything, his hate for Perry. It didn't matter any more. His elbows bent and he felt Perry's soft, warm breath tickling his face. Perry's lips were so close to his. Doofenshmirtz's heart pounded harder and harder as their lips fused together. He felt a spark run up his spine and he moaned some with pleasure. Perry's hands slid up his arms, reaching down his body causing him to shiver. He ran his own fingers across Perry's body when he realized he wasn't grabbing clothes, he felt bed sheets and jolted up in bed, panting and sweating. He peered into the darkness, not seeing Perry's face. He looked over at his alarm clock, not really caring about what time it is, he reassured himself that he wasn't fighting or kissing, he was in bed. Waking up from a dream.

"Oh man what a nightmare...", he groaned to the dark of night. "I'm glad that's over.."

He felt a hand on his and he looked over only to have his heart jump up to his throat causing him to nearly choke on it.

"Doofy, are you okay?", Perry asked sweetly from his spot in bed next to Heinz.

Doof let out a scream and woke up yet again in the same room.

"Okay that was weird...", he said.  
>He looked over and nearly choked again as his eyes found Charlene laying in bed next to him and then woke up once again in the same bed. He looked over fearfully at the bed sheets covering whoever may be under it and pulled them aside to find it was the red-haired girl he dated and accidentally hit with the deloveinator.<p>

"...Okay I can get used to this one.", he said slyly with a matching smile.

He suddenly woke up again to look over and find Monogram flopped across the bed, drooling, and snoring.

"...Oh come on!", he groaned.

He woke up yet again but this time was greeted by the sun shining through the window and his alarm blaring on and on. He turned it off and looked over to his side finding no one there. He sighed some with relief and got up to get dressed. He scratched the back of his head and looked around some.

"I wonder what I was dreaming about.", he said to no one in particular.

When he was dressed and came out to the living room where Vanessa was having a bowl of cereal and Perry was having some of Norm's crunchy eggs, he stretched some and smiled at the scene a bit.

"Hey Dad.", Vanessa said.

"Heinz.", Perry greeted with a nod.

"Good morning, Dad! Would you like some eggs?", Norm asked cheerfully.

"Norm. I'm not your dad and I don't like your eggs. Get it through your thick metallic head already!", he groaned. "Morning Vanessa. Perry. How'd you guys sleep?"

"Fine.", Vanessa said.

"I had the craziest dream last night.", Perry said. "Can't even describe it."

"Yeah, me too.", Doof said pulling up a chair.

"Here's your coffee!", Norm said setting the cup down.

"Thanks Norm. It's not CRUNCHY is it?", he added sarcastically. He took a sip and soon spat it back out coughing out coffee and eggshells. "Oh! Oh! Aahh! It IS crunchy! Oh! that's just GROSS! Ulgh!"

Perry and Vanessa snicker, high-fiving eachother.

"Next time let's reprogram Norm to put sugar in it.", Vanessa said.

"Yeah it may make him a little nicer.", Perry replied.

"Very funny you two, reprogramming Norm. It's like the kids playing a prank on Dad, right?", Heinz groaned as he brushed off some coffee from his lab coat.

"Actually, Perry, Norm, and I were talking about it and thought it seemed more like Perry was the father, you're the mom, I'm the daughter and Norm's my little brother.", Vanessa said.

"Hey wait, why am I the mother?", her dad replied indignitly.

"Mm.. let's see, who's holding down a good job?", Perry asked.

He took a sip of his own cup of coffee.

"Uh hello! CEO of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated!", Doof replied.

"And when did you SELL anything?", Perry snapped back.

"But I'm already Vanessa's dad!", Doof said thinking he gained a point over Perry.

"So invent a Mominator.", Perry took up the paper and scanned through it as Doof scoweled at the come back.

"I wanna be the dad! I want to be the dad.", he said.

"Well, 'Hon', you can be if you want, but I wasn't the one wearing the dress."

"What does that even mean?", Doof asked, unsure of where the conversation was going now.

Perry chuckled and took out a picture from his pocket. He held it out to the doctor who squinted at the two figures on it.

"Remember? The dress?", he said.

Doof took the picture and felt his cheeks burn hot with embarrassment as it was back when Perry was still a platypus. Back when Doofenshmirtz gathered all of the city's dirty laundry and they were in the middle of a fight, having just popped up from a pile of dirty laundry with Perry wearing a tuxedo and Doofenshmirtz in a wedding dress. Vanessa looked over his shoulder and couldn't help but laugh.

"Ah we were so happy back then, eh?", Perry said chuckling some more.

"Where did you even get a picture like this?", Vanessa asked.

"You'd be surprised what 'Daddy's' job is all about.", Perry said.

"You're not her father!", Doof said thrusting the picture across the table to Perry.

Perry slid it back in his pocket, disregarding Doofenshmirtz's frustration.

"Heinz, you know I'm too busy at my job and the children would be in school all day. Someone should be staying at the house, cooking and cleaning.", he said not taking an eye off the paper.

"That's Norm's job!"

"No, our son would be in school. He needs a good education after all."

"He's not my son!"

"Well then I'll adopt him. Norm, how would you like to be a Flynn?", Perry offered, finally setting it aside.

"I thought it was the Doofenshmirtz family", Norm said.

"You take so much after your mother.", Perry chuckled.

"YAY!", Norm's smile lit up.

"You are NOT a Doofenshmirtz, Tinnochio!", Doofenshmirtz growled. "And this IS the Doofenshmirtz family!"

"Too late, 'Mom'." Vanessa said, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Well no seriously, why can't I be the dad?", Doof asked. "I'm a boy. I can hold down a job!"

Perry, Vanessa, and Norm just give Doofenshmirtz a plain look and it didn't take long for him to get the message.

"...Good point.", he finally sighed, leaning his head on his hand as he picked up the coffee mug with his free hand and took a sip. He soon spat it back out. "AAAH! Oh man! Ulgh! Not AGAIN!"

After breakfast was spewed as well as eaten, Doofenshmirtz returned to the lab where he began working on the trueforminator. Perry soon joined him, a book in hand to keep him entertained as he handed a tool once in a while when his book didn't attract so much of his attention. But soon the book became consuming and Doofenshrmitz worked long into the day on the invention, while Perry was trying hard to keep his own mind off of last night's thoughts and on the book which was, unfortunately, a romance book as it turned out to be. Doofenshmirtz sighed, sitting back in his chair, rubbing his eyes from concentrating so hard on the piece of machinery infront of him. He looked over at Perry who hadn't taken his eyes off the book and almost felt his blood boil. He was working his butt off to redefy the laws of science and physics and Perry was just reading a book, passing the time away. The least he could do is get a sandwich for him. He sat down his screwdriver with a small thud and Perry looked up from what he was reading.

"What's wrong?", Perry asked.

"...I'm not going to turn you into a platypus.", Doof said definitely.

Perry eyes widened and then narrowed down. He shut his book and sat it on the desk.

"What do you mean?", Perry started to say, trying to keep his voice tempered. "What, you're not going to turn me back?"

"As far as I'm concerned Perry, you can just stay a human.", Doof said. "I don't HAVE to do anything you tell me to. What are you going to do? Punch me? Kick? Bite, scratch, threaten to break a bone or KILL me? Without me, you can't turn into a platypus and besides, why be an animal that hardly does anything when you can be a human that-"

"DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ.", Perry's voice had lost all other emotion than rage and malice. He stood up, looming over Dr. D with a terrible scowl on his face as his hand slapped the table to catch his attention. "WHAT is it that all living creatures love more than anything else?"

Doof paused for a moment, not really sure where Perry was going with this. He shrugged, looking away but Perry snapped his fingers with his other hand to catch his attention.

"Don't play dumb, Doofus! What do all creatures have?"

"Why are you asking me this?", Doof asked.

"You're the one with all the psychiatry books. ", Perry snapped. "All creatures have FAMILIES. All humans love to feel loved! I, however, can not BE human because I'm NOT human! I have a FAMILY that LOVES me, but I can't love them back when I'm something I'm NOT!"

"Okay so they lost their platypus!", Doof said, standing up and pushing Perry back to give him space. "You don't need to get all huffy about it!"

"Doofenshmirtz you IDIOT!", Perry yelled. "You NEVER get it do you? You SAW my family. For real life! Right there in the grocery store! Why the heck don't you understand that THEY can't see ME? Think you have your OWN family issues? They're the only people in the world that decided to adopt ME. Decided to care for ME. Out of all the other animals in the adoption agency, all those agents that kept coming in and getting a new home, all passing me, I was finally chosen. There's no one else that would care for me and now I can't even VISIT them! Why? BECAUSE A MORONIC, LUNATIC DECIDED IT WOULD BE FUN TO TURN HIS NEMESIS INTO A COMPLETE STRANGER TO HIS FAMILY! THEY SEE ME; THEY LOOSE ME! END. OF. STORY! GET IT IN YOUR FREAKING EXCUSE OF A TRIANGULARLY-SHAPED HEAD ALREADY!"

Doof had stumbeled back into his chair, completely shocked at Perry's sudden burst of rage. Perry stood there panting for a moment, his eyes not moving a moment off of Doof's. A moment of silence passed between them.

"They...They're always making sure I'm okay.", Perry said finally. "That song you heard the first night? That was THEM. Calling for ME. Last time they did it was because I had to take care of Regirgutator and I was able to freely return to them. They're worried stiff that I'm gone and..."

A tear weld up in his eyes and Perry yelled in frustration and stormed out of the room, kicking over his chair as he did so. Doofenshmirtz stared down at the machine on the table, unsure of what to do next. Unsure of what to really think next. He finally punched the table in his own frustration and held his head in his hand.

"They're not the only ones...", Heinz mumbled under his breath.

Perry stormed through the building, pushing aside Norm and storming by Vanessa who asked him about the odd yelling they heard. He marched into a bedroom where he slammed the door behind him and stared at the bed in the middle. He knew this wasn't Vanessa's since it wasn't covered in black. He wasn't really sure whose it was. At the moment, he could care less. He collapsed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as his mind churned on and on about his family. He felt himself hating Doofenshmirtz more and more than he really realized he did.

'I'd murder him if I could.. I swear, I would.', Perry thought to himself. 'I'd really show him what for for keeping me away from Phineas and Ferb... Man.. They must really miss me right now. I wish I was at home. I wish I was in my pet basket with my bowl of platyfood, listening to Candace trying to bust the boys and Linda missing out on all the fun.', his eyelids grew heavy as he thought more and more. 'Why.. why can't things...return to normal.. Why did Dooofus have to force me to live in something..I hated?'

Perry rolled over in his sleep and a dream began to form in his mind. He was back at his house. HIS house. A regular platypus with his regular family back in the more or less regular days. He woke up to Phineas' alarm clock and morning stroke and chattered happily for it.

"G'morning Perry.", a voice said soothingly to him.

It wasn't the normal voice Perry heard. More like something he'd hear...later. Perry paused for a moment, not opening his eyes yet but then relaxed again at the voice.

"How did you two sleep?", Phineas' voice said to him.

Perry worried again. It was further away than normal. Perry eyes flew open as he heard the first voice yet again.

"Oh we're just fine.", it said.

Perry rolled over to find Heinz. Or something like Heinz. A brown platypus with disheveled hair and shadows under his eyes. It stretched out happily chattering towards Phineas and Ferb who were smiling down at the duo in their pet basket-for-two. But instead of worrying, instead of wondering what Doofenshmirtz was doing as a platypus, Perry leaned over to gently nuzzle him as Phineas pat his back. The two loved on each other affectionately and headed out with Phineas and Ferb for breakfast. Perry felt happy though he could feel the soft buzz of the obvious question in the back of his mind. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to face it. But then suddenly everything in the room seemed to grow dark as they headed into the kitchen and began to eat their breakfast. Doofenshmirtz sat at his bowl while Perry was eating out of his. Smiling widely. Perry looked up with confusion, unsure of what was going on. Suddenly Doofenshmirtz stood up and pulled out a familiar looking ray gun. Only platypus size now.

"Hey, whatcha doin'?", Phineas asked Doofenshmirtz as he aimed it at them.

Perry stood up instantly, he knew what Dr. D was thinking. He tried to yell at Doof, saying it would be crazy for him to actually do it and asking why he would, but nothing came out of his mouth. He couldn't yell, he couldn't talk, he couldn't walk. Doof turned back, a wide malicious grin across his face.

"Say 'good-bye', Perry the Platypus...", the evil platypus said to him.

He pulled the trigger. Phineas, Ferb, and Candace all screamed in pain and fell dead to the floor as Perry fell to his knees in horror.

"P-Perry the Platypus.", Phineas said with his last breath. He repeated it again and again and then his voice changed, it became higher and it developed an accent. But it continued to echo to Perry though he had shut his eyes, trying hard not to look at the painful scene in front of him. Soon Perry could feel himself being shoved on and he woke up in bed again to find Doofenshmirtz there, trying to wake him up.

"Perry the Platypus!", the doctor was calling out. "Perry the Platypus, are you okay?"

Perry sat up in bed, regaining the fact that he was a human and so was Doofenshmirtz. He was at the DEI and Doofenshrmitz did not kill the kids. Perry glared at Heinz who only raised his hands in self defense.

"Look, I know I'm the last person you wanna talk to right now.", Doof admitted.

"Ain't that the truth?", Perry said with an icy cold tone that said in itself, "Roll over and DIE".

"Hey, I came here because I heard you screaming and came to see if you were okay. You were crying like you were having a nightmare."

Perry was dumbfounded at the news and looked at the bed sheets to see a small, dark, wet spot where his tears hit the bed. He quickly proceeded to wipe up all the rest of the tears in his eyes when Doofenshmirtz handed him something. Perry looked to see it was a handkerchief and looked at the man offering it to him.

"Go on, it's not evil or anything.", Doof teased.

Perry took it and wiped up the tears and snot dripping from his nose, hiccuping a bit.

"What was the dream about?", Doof asked. "If-if you don't mind to tell me."

"Why? So you could build a device to trap me in THAT instead?", Perry said.

Doofenshmirtz bit his tongue, deciding to handle this as gently as he could.

"I was just asking out of concern.", he said calmly. "Anything wrong with that?"

"Not so wrong as to send you to jail.", Perry replied. He smirked and Dofenshmirtz was a little surprised.

"Was that a joke?", Doof asked. "Are you joking with me?"

"'Anything wrong with that?'", Perry replied, imitating Doofenshmirtz's voice.

"Not at all so long as you don't hate-", Doof paused, reminding himself that Perry, of course, hated him since they WERE enemies. "..As long as you're not still mad with me."

There was a moment of silence as Perry's eyes narrowed some at Dr. D. Heinz tried to avoid eye contact, understanding what Perry was thinking.

"...Alright, look I am sorry.", Doofenshmirtz apologized. "Really. I.. I actually came up here to tell you that originally. I'm sorry I'm keeping you away from your family."

Perry raised an eyebrow, awaiting to hear the "but" to it.

"It's not fair of me to say 'I'm not going to turn you back and return you to your family'. It..it really isn't right. I guess I never really thought of you as a family kinda guy but...", he shrugged. "Maybe that's cause I never really had much of one myself. Even with Vanessa and Norm."

"...They are nice things to have.", Perry said, looking out the window in the room at a nest with a bird family in it. "So even if no one else likes you, there's still that one group of people who care about you. Who love you all the time."

"That's what I always hear.", Heinz said, also looking at the birds. "Unfortunately I never really got the good side of the deal."

"So you've told me with several back stories."

"Yeah. Well anyway, it's getting kinda late so uh.. If you don't mind Perry, I'd like to have my own room back."

Perry eyes widened again and he looked at the sign on the opened door.

"Heinz's Room", it said.

"Oh my- Sorry, I didn't even-", Perry stammered as he stood up off the bed.

"No no it's alright. I-I don't really mind it's just- I didn't think you'd-", he stood up as well.

"Yeah. No, thank you. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine.", he nodded to the door. "Let's order some pizzas and then I'll show ya to your room so you don't, heh, run into Vanessa's room or anything."

"Ah ha ha ha.", Perry said dryly. "You know I might make a trip in there tonight."

Doofenshmirtz whirled around on the dime and scowled down at Perry almost frighteningly, holding up a single finger.

"TOUCH her... and NO ONE will ever see you again.", he said clearly in a deep and menacing tone that made even Perry shiver with slight fear.

Heinz turned back and headed out with Perry following along at a small distance. 


	14. Chapter 14

While everyone was eating pizza and watching a movie, Porcco Rosso to be precise as is the courtesy of Vanessa, Doofenshmirtz's mind was still left on the earlier fight. He was working on the trueforminator and hopefully soon things will get back to normal but.. He sighed a bit, staring into his soda. For whatever reason, the thought of Perry returning to a platypus almost made him feel...torn. Sure they had their fits, who doesn't? Sure Perry could probably beat him ten times harder now and wouldn't be afraid to do so but... It suddenly felt like Doofenshmirtz was facing the reality of loosing a very close friend. He's said before, in secret to Norm, Perry was like family but now it's felt like even more so. After seeing Perry's softer side and actually coming to know him so much better than he ever did before...and just to suddenly snap that back into place and resume daily fighting? Wow, he almost heard his heart tear at the thought. But why? It's not like it really WOULD be right anyway if Perry was going to stay as a human. If they really would become something more than friends. The whole idea is internationally accepted as a very WRONG thing to do and often made fun of. He's Perry and he's Heinz. He's said so himself he doesn't support sodomy. So why does he feel intended on doing so? He was left confused as he slowly munched on the crust. All the better question, even if he did since there are SOME out there who do, what are Perry's thoughts? He CLEARLY doesn't support the idea as already proven. But what if Heinz did admit that he felt more and Perry returned it. What then? What would Monobrow say? Monobrow. Doof hadn't really thought much about him now that the man entered his mind. What WOULD he say if he found out Perry was a human. Much less Doofenshmirtz actually having feelings for him. Yes, he'll admit it, at least to himself, Doofenshmirtz does like Perry. Perry's been a real good friend to him. The only friend he's really ever had. Thus why he doesn't want to return Perry to his family. If Perry was a platypus again, things would snap back into a boring routine once again. Perry would sneak from his family, go see Monobrow, fly over, get trapped, listen to him, escape, fight him, win and go back to rest for the next day. A dry routine that almost sounded sick to him now. Why do they HAVE to fight? Just cause Monobrow said so? Maybe that's the real reason why Perry was so intent on getting back home. Because he knew Monobrow was waiting for him. Like a whipped and leashed dog to his master. Ew. There's a REAL sick thought there and Doofenshmirtz made a side note to himself to build a forget-it-inator after all of this. But suddenly, as if to confirm this thought, there was a buzzing sound and everyone looked over at Perry to see it was coming from him. He reached into his pocket, somewhat surprised himself and pulled out a familiar looking communicator. After glancing at it to see it really was calling for him, Perry's eyes quickly widened and he shoved it back in his pocket. He looked up at the puzzled Doofenshmirtzes and forced a weak chuckle while Vanessa paused the movie.

"Uh.."

"Monobrow?"

"It's 'Major Monogram'.", Perry said as his eyes narrowed a bit. "And... yeah..."

Doof noticed the worried expression on Perry's face as the device continued to buzz for him.

"Aren't you going to answer it?", Vanessa asked which only received a quick head-shake in return.

"N-n-no. It's probably uh... Just an uh.. Update on the uh.. lunch menu... I-If it was really anything important, I-I already have my eye on you, Dr. D. It-It's not like there's really much for the Major to suddenly wanna say to me."

Heinz and Vanessa exchanged glances, Doof raising an eyebrow in suspicion and skepticism. He looked back at Perry who was looking beyond the point of worried and just all freaked out as a muffled voice was heard from the communicator now. He was tapping his foot impatiently at the sound.

"Agent P! Agent P pick up!", Monogram's voice said.

Perry noticed the two staring at him, waiting for him to answer and he quickly shook his head.

"I am NOT going to let him see me like this!", he whispered harshly.

"Perry, it's just Francis.", Doof said with a shrug. "I mean, it is MY fault you're like that anyway."

"Y-yeah.. Well..."

"AGENT P! WHERE ARE YOU!", Monogram's voice was becoming louder and more concerned.

Perry yelped in fear and quickly grabbed the thing and held it up.

'Like a whipped dog...', Doof thought to himself, seeing the imediate reaction.

"Agent...P?", Monogram's face on the device was confused seeing the man with the fedora. "Uh.. Karl? I think someone took Agent P's communicator."

Perry gulped, realizing he would have to straighten out the commander's thoughts here.

"M-M-Major Monogram, it's me!", Perry said catching the older man's attention. "A-agent P.."

"Agent P? What happened to you? I've been trying to call you for the past 5 days straight!", Perry cringed hearing the furious voice of his leader.

Doofenshmirtz was surprised seeing Monogram verbally beating down on Perry for allowing himself to turn human. That alone was Doof's fault and to see Perry not standing up for himself, it suddenly opened a whole new set of doors in Doofenshmirtz's mind as he actually saw Perry's weakest side. His most vulnerable and defenseless secret side that no one else but Monogram ever saw.

"I will hope NOT to hear that Dr. Doofenshmirtz even saw your family, RIGHT! Or DID he and we'll have to erase his mind AS WELL as getting you back to normal?"

"N-n-no...", Perry stammered weakly. "He-he didn't.."

"You're not LIEING, are you?"

"No!", Perry whimpered.

"Good...", the man seemed to calm down with the lie that Perry told. "I wouldn't think you would slip like that."

"Y-y-yes sir.."

"Well now Agent P, if you can talk tell me how you're doing as captive of your nemesis?"

"E-everything's fine Sir. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is rebuilding the transforminator to turn me back. I-I'm making sure of it!"

"Now there's the Agent P I know.", Monogram nodded. "If you're doing fine then I expect to see you back at the base as a platypus SOON so we can return you to your host family before they become too worried."

Perry nodded and the two exchanged salutes and the communicator turned off. Perry was literally shaking from head to toe and the device quickly dropped from his hand as he raised it to his head, trying to calm down. There was a moment of silence and during it Vanessa decided to slip off. The reasons unknown but at the moment, all Doofenshmirtz could think of was Perry. He finally understood why Perry tried to pretend not to cry that first night. Why he WAS crying earlier that day. His sudden mood swings into rage was how hard he was trying to control himself from showing how much he really was feeling. He felt something stab his heart and he guessed it was in the very least sympathy for the platyhuman that sat a little ways from him... It was a lot more painful of a stab than it sounded as he stared longer. After a moment of thought, he scooted over and began to reach out a hand to comfort the platyperson but his hand was quickly smacked away instantly by Perry who only scooped up the phone and stood up, quickly regaining his cold, steely persona and stormed out of the room but only paused for a moment with his hand on the doorknob. He looked back at Doofenshmirtz, shooting icicles from the icy scowl.

"I expect to see that trueforminator done by tomorrow evening AT LATEST.", he said formerly and coldly.

He stormed out without even a "Goodnight" and left Doofenshmirtz to sit there, alone with his thoughts and the sudden deadline. He would've been mad, hearing such a demand from his nemesis er... part-nemesis, but he was too busy feeling nothing but understanding and hurt for him instead. The next day, Doofenshmirtz was working on the machine again, his thoughts still trailed along Perry and what he felt last night.

'Why didn't Perry ever try to stand up for himself to Major Monogram?', he pondered. 'I mean it's not like Major Monogram was going to fire him. What sense would that make? This whole thing was MY plan and I was intending on returning him after I got to know him a little more..'

His mind wondered back to when Perry had ran outside in the rain and suddenly found his heart pounding faster before he mentally face-palmed himself.

'Yeah I REALLY got to know him now...', he sighed returning to his earlier thoughts. 'I remember when my father would order me around like that... Not really much of a good idea for a parent. No real surprise of why I hate him now... But I don't think Perry hates Monogram, I think Perry's been raised so deeply into listening to orders like that, it's only loyal instinct almost. In a really sick and twisted way... And besides, if Perry was fired, he'd loose his job, his family, I mean I'm sure his paycheck covers SOMETHING for the family. I would imagine so at least. But there's another thing, his family doesn't even really know about him do they? That's why he's so worried about seeing them as a human. In case they find out and Owca would be all over it. Yeesh that would already give me nightmares with THAT much burden on my chest. No wonder he sleepwalks! Jeez, that's a lot of responsibility to put on a simple platypus! Penny the Platypus must have been a real relief for him.', suddenly he gasped in realization. 'THAT'S why he didn't want to come fight me when I went on to try to rule the tri-state area! He was trying so hard to relax and have a good mating season with Penny the Platypus, he must've ignored Major Monogram completely. Thus why SHE came to fight me especially after seeing those videos of Perry the Platypus. Oh man if Monogram gave him THAT hard a beating for just turning in late because he was turned into a human and was afraid to call into work, he must've been REALLY harsh for when Perry was refusing to fight me. So Perry's now kinda left in this conflict of wanting to relax some and actually open up a part of himself he keeps locked away from everyone and risking his job and family, being actually the Perry the Platypus everyone only catches a glimpse of, or being locked away in an unforgiving and strict routine where he does everything Major Monogram tells him to do, never allowing himself to ever unwind and constantly go between a fakingly relaxed and normal platypus to an extreme version of James Bond with no one ever understanding what he really thinks or feels.', the doctor felt his heart sink with the thought. 'And of course my emotions are only causing him damage aren't they? Or maybe they're helping, but with him being whipped for so long, it kinda hurts. Like when you sit on your legs and they fall asleep and then when you try to walk they suddenly hurt really bad.', he sighed as he stared at his reflection in the metal sheeting of the near-complete trueforminator. 'I don't really have much say in the matter anyway do I? I mean it's not like Perry would ever really like me back. Would ever...', he nearly chocked on the words in his head. Even when he knows he doesn't think of Perry as an enemy, it's still hard for him to think it. 'Forget it Heinz. If you wanted to help Perry like that, a miracle would have to take place. Besides you're both guys. It wouldn't work.'

After another hour, he finally finished the machine, and stepped back, finding it bigger than he thought it would be.

'It's a little unstable, but it'll do the trick.', he thought to himself as he walked through the building to get Perry.

He found Perry at a table with nothing but a book in his hand and the steely look still in his eyes as though the book wasn't amusing him in the slightest. He sighed, still remembering yesterday's antics and cleared his throat a bit.

"Perry, I finished the inator now.", he proclaimed.

Perry's head instantly perked up and he looked over with excited eyes.

"Really?", he said hopefully.

"..Yeah.", Doof said in half disappointment.

They walked into the lab room where Doofenshmirtz had the trueforminator standing.

"BEHOLD!", Doof said in his usual tone as if Perry hadn't become a human at all. "The trueforminator! With this, I'll zap you and poof! You'll be your true form once again."

"Yeah yeah yeah, tick tock Doofus.", Perry said tapping his foot.

"Alright alright already.", he said feeling a slight pain from being ignored. 'He has his reasons.'

The sarcasm was one thing he didn't like about Perry. He walked over to the back and pushed one of the buttons on there while Perry braces himself for the preparing beam. When it finally struck him square in the chest, Perry fell back onto the ground and Doof watched expectantly as the bright yellow light took over Perry's body and began to morph it like it had before. Perry writhed and screamed in pain completely like how it was all like the first time around. What he didn't expect was the result of everything. When the light died away and his screams faded, what laid there in front of him unconsciously was something that definitely scared him.

'...Did I make that?', was the only thought he had for himself.

Sprawled out in front of him was indeed Perry, but not as a platypus. There was a tall, human, female and the mere sight of her made Doof's heart pound hard. What really surprised him was that she looked kinda like Perry but it definitely put the covers of Flawless Girl magazines to shame. Her body was well fit but not quite as muscular as before and her hair reached down to, as he guessed, her shoulders in an outward sweep. Her clothes also changed as would have been guessed to a teal short-sleeved jacket with a light blue shirt on underneath and blue jeans with orange tennis shoes. The only thing that wasn't perfect was her nose still being a bit long for a woman's but it DID have to replace that overgrown snout Perry had as a platypus. But even with the nose she was simply gorgeous and the reason why this was scaring Heinz to death was what will happen when Perry wakes up and finds out he's a she.

Unfortunately the transformation didn't take as much of a toll on Perry as becoming a human from a platypus did and she soon woke up, foggy-minded and weakish feeling.

"Uh.. H-how do you feel Perry the..Platypus?", Heinz said forcing a weak smile as she turned her head to him.

'He's the right distance away if I'm laying down..', Perry thought. 'He said my name right so I must be a platypus again but his face is awfully red for me being a platypus.'

The creature in front of him stood up but when she saw she reached eye level, she knew something wasn't right.

'Oh no.. Oh no he did NOT!', she thought to herself.

Perry looked over in a mirror and soon cracked it as the scream reached a pitch even higher than Heinz's own voice. Perry stumbled back in horror at the sight of the human girl. The woman suddenly turned around furiously at Dr. D who only cringed in fear.

"Alright. You have less than 5 seconds to explain your stupid inator!", she said marching to him, her voice still with the accent and a little higher than before like a female's but not squeaky like some and in this case, still full of obvious rage.

"W-w-wait just a minute now!", he said backing away. "I-I-I'm sure it's just a glitch i-i-in the system!", he stammered, knowing all to well how freakin dangerous a woman can be when she's pissed off. "O-O-or m-m-maybe I wa-was working too fast an-and mixed up the w-wiring!"

She grabbed him by the front of his black turtleneck and held his face very, very close to hers. A strong smell of chlorine sweeping through Heinz's nostrils, setting off his gag reflex for a breif moment.

"FIX. IT.", she ordered.

"I-I will! P-promise! I'll just uh..", he looked back at the inator but saw that the circuits were fried and looked back at her, fearing what he'd have to say and prayed she wouldn't hit him for it either. "...f-fix it the machine..."

Apparently he wasn't praying nearly hard enough as later he stormed into his bedroom holding a slab of meat over his black eye. He fell back on his bed, dropping the meat onto the end table next to him.

"Oh well this is just a picnic..", he mumbled to himself. "Fine work you've done now, Heinz. Great work. YOU TURNED PERRY THE PLATYPUS INTO A GIRL!", Doofenshmirtz rubbed his eyes, still working on wrapping his mind around the concept of his age-old nemesis suddenly being human and, even more so dangerous, a woman. "I turned Perry the Platypus into a human girl...", he muttered to himself hoping it'll help him understand. "I turned Perry the Platypus into a HUMAN, GIRL. I turned PERRY THE PLATYPUS into a human girl. ...I turned Perry the Platypus into a human girl? I turned.. Wait I... I turned PERRY... Perry the Platypus...into a HUMAN..GIRL...", a smirk etched crossed his face with the thought. "I turned Perry the Platypus..into a HUMAN GIRL. A human... SINGLE... CUTE... female...", his smile stretched from ear to ear. "Who...sleep walks..and is TRAPPED here...technically."

Meanwhile on the opposite side of the DEI Perry was storming through her own bedroom muttering curses under her breath.

"I can't BELIEVE the man!", she said to the reflection in the mirror which only glowered back, completely useless to her other than to repeat her moves. "Why does he insist on doing things like this to ME? Why did I have to be his nemesis? DR. DOOFENSHMIRTZ TURNED ME INTO A HUMAN GIRL!", she snarled something unintelligible and flopped onto the bed, dropping her head into the pillow.

Perry tried to help herself understand it too as she told herself over and over again.

"I'M A HUMAN GIRL!", she bawled into the pillow. 'I'm a human girl? Oh my gosh Owca saw me turn into a human girl! Ugh! I'm a HUMAN girl. I'm a human GIRL! I'm a HUMAN GIRL!', she sighed and rolled over staring off into space. 'Well MY horoscope was just proven wrong...' 


	15. Chapter 15

'Ho ho this is PERFECT!', Heinz thought happily to himself while he was grocery shopping. 'Perry's a human and he's a she now so now I have the PERFECT opportunity to win her heart! I mean sure I've failed with a bunch of other girls but I did manage to have Charlene for a little while at least. And there was also that one that accidentally got hit with the deloveinator but you know, she was into me. I can do this if I just play things nice and cooly.'

When he got home he passed by the living room and heard an unusual ammount of laughter and peeked in but was suddenly somewhat shocked to see Perry and Vanessa sitting on the floor with an array of nail polish infront of them helping eachother with their nails.

"Uh-uh Girlfriend, Heinz has done a LOT more stupid stuff than Johnny ever did.", Perry said ever so naturally like she's been a girl all her life.

"Yeah. Guys right? I mean where would they be without us?", Vanessa chuckled as she tried to dry off her nails quickly.

Doofenshmirtz backed up and silently closed the door behind him wondering if that will EVER look normal and somewhat hoped that it won't be. A few hours later, Heinz was setting up dinner and almost had everything prepared to make sure it looked good for him and Perry. The only problem he faced was lighting a few candles as he found out when he accidentally burned his fingers on the match. He waved his hand from the slight sting and walked to the kitchen to pour some soy sauce on it.

'I wonder if Perry knows how well this stuff works like that.', he thought to himself.

He heard the door to the room open and close and looked back to see Perry walking in, a little surprised at the set up he made. He quickly washed off his hands and walked in.

"Oh! Hey Perry.", he greeted.

"Hey.", she replied still eyeing the table a bit before looking around the rest of the room. "Hey.. Where's Vanessa?"

Meanwhile unknown to either one of them, Vanessa was walking through the streets to a news stand where a poster caught her eye. She picked it up examining the words on it carefully. She finally smiled.

"Ah-ha...", she noted to herself.

Just then her boyfriend Johnny rode up to her on his motorcycle and took off his helmet when he stopped.

"Hey Vanessa. Sup?"

"Oh nothing.", she stuffed the paper in her purse. "Ready?"

"Sure. Hop on.", he shrugged.

She sat down behind him, picking up the extra helmet and they rode off. Meanwhile back in the DEI, Doofenshmirtz merely shrugged.

"Ah she said something about going out with her boyfriend. You know how it is."

"Mm-hmm..", Perry didn't seem entirely convinced. "And Norm?"

"His squirrel's fed, his fuel tanks are fine he just decided to head to bed early.", he casually waved a hand aside.

At that moment both Norm and his squirrel were tied up and gagged and left in a closet in another part of the building.

"Hey! My horoscope was right!.", he somehow said through the gag.

The two sat down for dinner though Perry's uneasyness wasn't fully settled. Doof on the other hand was trying hard to remain calm and slow.

'Just try to keep things cool, Heinz.', he thought to himself. 'You've dated before. You know not to rush things and she DOES have boxers with YOUR face on them so it's not like she completely hates you. I just gotta play things right and everything will be fine. Like Billy Joel said, "Gotta get it right the first time".', he couldn't help but play the song in his head a bit before looking about the room. 'Hmm.. Actually I wonder if I should've put some music on. Might've made a nice touch..'

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Perry cleared her throat and spoke a little louder, finally catching his attention.

"Seems rather nice for just dinner.", she noted.

"Oh, well uh, I-I thought it'd be a nice way to apologize.", he lied.

"'Apologize'?", Perry asked, raising an eyebrow in skepticism as she began to eat.

"Yeah you know for keeping you trapped here for so long. It's really kinda rude when I come to think of it. What with the rant Major Monogram gave you the other night.", he explained.

"Oh well that's the Major for you really.", she shrugged but then started to get mad as she thought more and more on the subject. "I mean, the man's wound up pretty tight. Really, a bunch of phone calls in a day? Can't he just trace the signal to see you were only calling your ex-girlfriend but NO I had to go and find out what you were doing. Or how scary! You weren't doing ANYTHING but making cheese and he insisted that I'd rush over. Even when I'm not fighting you he sends me on wild goose chases and errands for the Agency while everyone else gets to have weekends off and talk about how they had SO much fun playing with their owners while I'm busy busting my tail off working on both weekends AND holidays AND when I'm sick even! I had a CONE on my head and still had to show up! I mean what am I? A maidservant? Maybe I'd like a little time off to play with Phineas and Ferb! But NOOO. 'Dr. Doofenshmirtz is using the bathroom and we want you to find out what he's up to! We need you to go find some impossible thing or person and probably have to go half way around the world and up to the moon and back risking life and limb to get it!" What the heck man? Agent H or Agent B could probably handle it! Why not you wake up the fat, lazy cheetah and get her to work? Am I the only *krrrrr* one working in that *krrrrr* place?"

She paused in her ranting realizing what all she was really saying and looked over at Heinz to see him in slight shock from the explosion. She felt slightly embarrassed and then worried that she might've said too much and began beating herself mentally for doing so.

"S-sorry. I didn't mean to...", she quickly covered, tearing up a bit.

"Oh! No no you're fine!", he caught sight of her thoughts and tried to seem less surprised. "I-I mean it's good to vent. Venting's really good. You're fine."

Unfortunately it didn't really seem to help. Tears began to overflow her eyes before she just put her head in her hands and gently sobbed into them.

"Perry wh-why are you crying?", Doof asked, worried he said something wrong.

"I don't know!", she whined through her tears. "And that's really wh-why I'm crying. I-I mean I wa-wanna-a cry, I-I don-don't know WH-WHY I wanna cry, a-and I just fe-eel really stu-stupid FOR-OR wanting to cry!", By that time Doofenshmirtz was already next to her gently rubbing her back hoping he'd help comfort her, soon pulling her into a hug. "I'm such a freak..."

"Wha? Hey.. It's okay.. I like freaks!", he said brightly which seemed to help with her sobbing.

She looked up at him innocently, her eyes shining with tears.

"R-really?", she sniffled.

"Yes. And this emotional thing? I think it's just your body adapting to a girl's hormonal system. Vanessa can fill you in on that. It's basically just like a run-through on how a human girls' emotions work, I think. You're perfectly fine, Perry. Honest!"

She wiped some of her tears away and smiled weakly.

"Th-thanks...", she said quietly.

He nodded understandingly and walked back to his plate.

"Go ahead and eat your dinner, Perry. I'm sure you'd like it. It's my Great Grandma Gretel's meatloaf recipe. The one I accidentally zapped with my rotinator, remember?"

"Oh... So THAT'S why you were saying all that weird Druslestilian stuff?", she questioned which received Heinz's face turning completely red with embarrassment.

"Y-you heard all that?", he asked sheepishly which made her giggle.

"Yeah Vanessa and I can hear it all the way down the hall. Sounded like you were really mad at something."

"Er... Well I was busy thinking of Roger and stuff.. It kinda helps fuel the hatred for the meatloaf, you know?"

"Well it sure sounded funny. I'm sure you were probably saying, 'Curse you Roger Doofenshmirtz', right?", she asked.

"...You mean you didn't understand what I said?", he said, his blush fading away.

"I only know a little bit of different languages. More of Dutch and French than anything else but that was cause of a silly assignment Owca gave me.", she shrugged. "Why?"

"Um...", he thought for moment as he flashed back.

"Du verdammter bruder von mir!", he yelled as he was mixing up the meeatloaf in a bowl.

"...No reason..", he lied as he returned to the present not wanting to think longer on what all else he had said.

"Kay.", she shrugged. "By the way this is a pretty great dinner you made. You must hate him pretty much."

"Uh heh, y-you can say that.", he chuckled nervously as he also ate. "I-if could talk to her I'm sure me and Great Grandma Gretel had quite a few things in common. Or at least according to Grandpa Jose."

She chuckled and they continued to eat. But it wasn't long before Perry persisted on the previous topic.

"So can you say something else in Druselstilian?", she asked which caused him to blink for a moment.

"What...you mean like now?", he asked in return. "Why?"

"No I was curious. It sounded really kinda funny.", Perry smiled. "Please?"

"Uh.. I..I guess..", he shrugged and scratched his head. "I mean it's not like I can't. I grew up with it.. Gimme a minute...", he paused thinking it over before smiling at her sweetly and saying ever so romantically, "Verflucht seist du Perry das Schnabeltier."

"Aww!", she giggled. "That sounded so sweet! What did you say?"

"Curse you Perry the Platypus.", he said as his smile turned into a smirk.

Her face fell for a moment before she began to laugh.

"Oh my gosh I'm sorry! That's good!"

He chuckled and took a bite.

"That's not all I can say but I at least said it kindly.", he said.

"Well what's a NICE thing you can say?", she asked.

"Uh...", he had to think it over for a moment. 'This could be a perfect opportunity for me to actually tell Perry how I feel. I could always lie about it later.. Right?', he decided to give it a shot, having to swallow hard as his face grew pink. "Ich liebe dich...Perry und...ich wei , dass es falsch ist, aber du bist ein wunderbarer Mensch und Freund. Ich habe nur konnte nur beten, dass du das gleiche Gef hl."

"What'd you say that time?", she asked as expected.

"I...", he started to say finding it hard to speak any language suddenly. "I-I...think you're nice as a human?"

She paused for a moment finding her own cheeks turning a slight color before smiling and glancing away somewhat shyly.

"R-really?"

"W-well...", he began to say before he was interrupted.

Suddenly Vanessa opened and closed the door behind her. Her hair was wet and messy and she didn't seem to particularly pleased which, as Perry guessed, was because of the large, red, tomato stain on her black jacket.

"Oh! There you are Vanessa.", Doof said, straightening up.

She paid little attention as she stormed past the two into the kitchen.

"What's with the uh...?", Perry was about to ask when Vanessa cut in front of her.

"Don't even ask! Dad, if Johnny calls, I am SO not talking to him!", she simply said.

After Perry and Doof exchanged glances and shrugs, Vanessa walked by again with a box of left over pizza.

"If anyone even cares I'll be in my room...", she muttered as she stormed back out.

"Don't lock yourself up in there though, kay?", he asked though he only received something like a grunt as she walked out.

"What happens if she locks herself in there?", Perry asked.

"She's more likely try to forget breakfast tomorrow.", Doof said as he returned to eating, allowing their romantic moment to pass. 


	16. Chapter 16

Perry suddenly mentally slapped herself in the face, realizing what had happened earlier.

'Perry what the heck are you thinking?', she scolded herself. 'What he said is disturbing and creepy! For crying out loud he's your nemesis! Not your girl- er... boyfriend!', she shuddered. 'Ew.. a boyfriend... Remember, you need to get back to the organization ASAP. As soon as dinner's over with, he needs to-', she had turned back to dinner and as soon as she took a bite of meatloaf it fell out of her mouth again as her taste buds began dancing everywhere.

"Oh my gosh this IS really good!", she exclaimed with a wide smile. "Shoot this beats Linda's ANY day!"

Doof looked up almost startled by the sudden reaction. He smiled and couldn't help but laugh.

"I told you! Now I REALLY wish I hadn't hit it with the rotinator back at the festival.", he said.

"Heinz you must REALLY hate your brother this is spectacular!", she said as she ate more happily.

"Heh, well it took more than my brother to be honest."

"Whatever you did, this is wonderful! I love it!"

He smiled feeling his heart lifting.

'She likes my cooking!', he thought happily to himself.

After dinner Heinz went to go check on Vanessa who was busy typing away like a maniac on the computer. Fortunately she hadn't locked the door.

"Vanessa? Are you okay?", he asked, gingerly peeking into the room.

"Oh! Dad!", she quickly slammed the laptop's lid down, surprised at his sudden appearance. "Yeah I'm fine. Why?"

"Well you looked pretty mad so I was just wanting to make sure."

"Eh, Johnny was busy looking at some other chick and accidentally made the waitress trip over his shoe and spill spaghetti on me.", she said in half annoyance. "And you know this wasn't the first time."

"Ah. I understand how that is.", he said allowing himself to come more into the room. "Wanna talk it over some more or anything?"

"No as far as I'm concerned we're done. I'm tired of him getting distracted with every goth girl he sees."

"Well good for you! You're not the one getting dumped on or cheated.", Heinz congratulated. "Does that mean that every time he comes over I can finally..?"

"Sure Dad.", she shrugged.

"Yes! I'm gonna set up the piranha moat right now!", he said happily "If you wanna talk some more feel free to call out."

With that he dashed off like a happy child while Vanessa just rolled her eyes with a smile. That night most everyone in the DEI was sleeping peacefully. Everyone except Perry who found it even more difficult to sleep than as a man. She tossed and turned and tried just about everything but couldn't find any reassurance for not having a large ten year-old being next to her. She finally rearranged her pillows so they were longways right next to her from the top of the bed to the foot. It seemed to help some and she fell asleep curled up next to it soon settling into a dream.

Perry was in a field with over grown, soft, and very green grass. It was a warm Summer's evening and the sun was setting with red and golden colors. It was wonderful and beautiful and she soon found herself sitting on blanket where a picnic would be found. Heinz was right next to her, holding up a cup of wine. She noticed she was holding one too. They scooted closer to each other, an arm wrapped around the other while they enjoyed the sunset. When they looked at each other again, she suddenly noticed he was wearing a suit and she a dress. Without even needing to question it, they were both spinning and dancing while fireflies were glowing off and on around them. Doof raised his one of his hands and with a snap of his fingers music began to play from an unseen source. The night was suddenly wrapped around them with the tall grass glistening the silver moon's light. As they danced, it slowed down. And when it came to a near halt he leaned down, their foreheads touching. The scene changed and she looked up to see the night sky twinkling with stars. She wasn't standing but instead sitting in a tire swing underneath an odd-looking tree house. She was being swung back and forth by Heinz. He spoke gently into her ear and it sent shivers up her spine hearing him.

"I used to come here when I was little to hide away from the world,", he said softly as she came back for another push. "But bringing you here makes it all the more special."

He grabbed the swing as he spoke the last words and gently brought it to a stop. He placed a light blue hat with fake flowers sewn into it on her head and she stood up. Hand in hand, her head on his shoulder they walked away on a trail he said his father marked out. They walked a ways and soon came across the same grassy meadow again where they resumed their dancing as before. As the unseen band started up again he twirled her around and she couldn't help but giggle. Everything about this moment... Everything about this feeling she had... It was perfect. Like nothing in the world could bother them. She had danced before with him, she knew, but as they slowed way down with the song's tempo, it wasn't like anything else she's ever experienced. She leaned closer to him, wanting so badly for nothing more than to be held in his arms as they gently rocked back and forth. His fingers ran through her hair, gently pulling back the three locks that covered a side of her face. It was heaven. As simple as that. She looked up at him, he looked back down with a smile and as he leaned closer to her, his lips moved with words but she didn't pay attention. Just his dark, gentle, navy blue eyes. And then, in that very moment, the dream ended.

The next morning, as expected, Heinz woke up finding the human woman sleeping peacefully next to him. His eyes widened with excitement as he looked down and saw her arms were around his waist just as like the first night. A leg was brought up so her knee met their chests while the other was lazily wrapped around one of his own. The feeling of their bodies together made Doof's heart race with a wonderful enjoyment.

'I can't believe that I forgot about Perry sleepwalking. This is great!', he thought gleefully. 'She's right here with me. Oh please, PLEASE don't wake up! Not yet. Not for a good while.'

She looked so peaceful, curled up to him. He gently raised his arm from around her neck and brushed her hair. It was surprisingly soft and smooth. Like touching a cloud almost. Suddenly a smiled appeared on her face and she clung closer to Doofenshmirtz, burying her face into his chest while a soft purring noise escaped.

'Hey that's the same sound she made when I dried her hair with a towel.', he noted.

Slowly, he took his hand away and the purring almost instantly stopped. She squirmed a bit, her head shifting around as if looking for something.

"Nngh...", she whined sleepily. "Mmm.."

He placed his hand back in her hair and she quickly calmed down and began purring again with a smile. He smiled too and chuckled as he continued to stroke her.

'She likes being petted? Well she was a pet, it makes sense I guess. Weird, didn't think Perry would go for that. I should learn more about platypuses, maybe there's more than her hair that'll make her happy. But man, she has soft hair! How could I not feel it before when she was covered in it? I guess we were so busy fighting, I never really knew. It's like..'

He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts as Perry leaned her head up to be touched even more. Her lips gently brushing past his neck making his hair stand on end. He swallowed hard as his heart started pounding hard in his chest. She must've been really enjoying the attention. She rolled about and resitutated herself so that her cheek was right next to his while her arms wrapped around his chest. The leg she had up high was lowered down. No doubt he liked the position and wrapped an arm around her waist as well while he used his other hand to continue stroking her. He glanced at a clock and was slightly alarmed as he saw it was 9:48 but he tried to not worry about the time much. As long as he procrastinated the transforminator's remake, Perry would stay safe from Monogram. He quietly promised her he would do anything to keep her from Francis's grasp. Anything.

Unfortunately the moment only lasted for about another half hour or so when Perry finally woke up and paused a bit, as her mind worked out what she first saw. She looked up at Heinz who only smiled sheepishly back, retracting his hands the moment he noticed her waking up. She stared at him only for a moment but then she quickly rolled out of bed and stood up briskly, walking out of the room while her cheeks burned bright red on her face.

"I need a shower...", was all she said.

As she walked out, she tried to calm herself down while heading for her bedroom for underwear. On the way, she noticed the halls were unusually bright for morning. She checked the clock on her phone and gasped seeing how late she slept in.

"Oh great! I'm gonna kill him for this! I can't wait to get back home..", she growled to herself.

She reached her room and grabbed a random pair of boxers, figuring they'd fit her still and headed for the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and then noticed something odd as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. While she was a female, she still had the brain of a male anthropomorphic platypus. Her face grew red and she groaned, pushing her hair back.

"I'm REALLY gonna kill him for this!", she said aloud to no one and heaved a sigh. 'Well, I can't really get clean WITH my clothes on...'

She slipped them off, feeling rather odd about her new human body and stepped into the shower. She noticed one handle being red colored while the other was blue.

'Wait.. Why are there two?', she thought.

She tried turning the red one and was surprised at first by the cold water that pelted down on her suddenly.

"AAH!", she jumped back to the wall to keep away from it.

But as she reached to turn it back, she noticed the water near her arm had gotten warmer and she stepped up into it, smiling as the water became warmer and warmer to her pleasing.

'Guess it needed time to heat up.', she shrugged.

Then it became too hot and she had to back out of it again. She looked back at the handles in pondering.

'If the red makes it hot, the blue must make it cold, right?', she conducted.

She then felt uneasy remembering numerous cold baths she had as a platypus.

'...It'd probably feel better than hot...', she guessed and turned the blue one.

The water cooled off again but wasn't freezing like her baths.

'Oh I see now. It's like the one handle back home but separated so there's just hot and just cold.', after some toying with it, she finally got it to a nice warm temperature and sighed, feeling the water pound on her back.

'It feels even better than the rain...', she thought happily to herself.

She then took a shampoo bottle and looked at the picture of a green kiwi on it. She remembered Phineas and Ferb always smelling the shampoo before using it so she decided to take a whiff and was happy for it as it smelled nice to her. She then ran it through her hair and her mind began to drift as she cleaned herself.

'Right, so I gotta decide what I'm gonna do today. Obviously I have to keep an eye on Heinz while he works on the machine. I better not get distracted either. Major Monogram won't wait forever for me. Thinking of Heinz, I'll admit it, I am gonna kinda miss having a friend to enjoy soap operas with. This week hasn't really been as bad as I thought it'd be really. I actually had a bit of fun.', she chuckled as she remembered being caught in the rain by Heinz. 'It'd kinda be a shame to have to go back to the way it was before... But I got to. Phineas and Ferb are worried about me. I have a family to look after. Having fun will have to wait for that day-off I keep asking Monogram for. Oh man now that I'm really thinking about it, I really hope Monogram hasn't been keeping an eye on the security cameras... I'd die of embarrassment if anyone in Owca saw me and Heinz in bed earlier! Or transforming into a human female. Sometimes, I really question those guys.. Not that I'd ever admit it to anyone, sometimes I feel like I'm the only responsible person there. I guess that'd make sense though. I'm the only one who's ever lost their family before..', She sighed in memory. 'The one time I let my host-family see me.. I still remember the kids' voices when they found out...'

'"Jake? You're a secret agent?'", a young girl in her memory exclaimed, having called her Jake instead of Perry.

'"Agent P, you're going to be reassigned to a family in South Dakota."', Monogram said to him.

'That's the last time I saw Hazle Deslemp...', she sighed again. 'And the last time I got to be in Australia... That's why I try so hard to protect the Flynn-Fletchers. I don't want to loose them again but with Heinz making me a human, sometimes I swear, I just want to strangle him! Get it over with, allowing me to live peacefully with them and no threat whatsoever.. Course if I DO finish him off or he gets sent to jail, I'd have to find a new nemesis and never see them again.. These are the exact same thoughts I go to bed with every night and sometimes, though I'll never say it to Monogram or Heinz, sometimes I really hate my life... Of course though, who would be able to even sympathize? I'm just a mindless secret agent.. Nothing more...'

She sighed with these last thoughts and then turned off the water. She dried herself off, put on her clothes and walked out to the dining room where Heinz was eating his breakfast. He glanced at her as she walked in and had to suppress a fit of laughter. She shot him a dirty glare as she got herself some cereal.

"ZIP IT.", she hissed.

"No I-I was thinking a-about the ballgowninator.", he lied.

"Uh-huh. Sure."

At that moment Vanessa walked in and noticed her dad's cheeks turning red while he tried hard not to laugh.

"Dad? Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah I'm fine!", he said as his voice got high with trying hard not to laugh.

"...Oh just get it over with.", Perry snorted. "You're wanting to laugh at me, right?"

Her cleared his throat, seeming to gain control of himself a little better.

"I'm not gonna laugh because you woke up next to me, again."

"Really?", she looked over at him skepticism.

"No. It's just an accident. It's okay.", he shrugged.

There was a moment of silence and Perry smiled a bit at him. She suddenly caught herself again and quickly shook her head before returning to her breakfast.

"...Well anyway, I'm gonna go hang out with Lucy today.", Vanessa told her dad before walking back out.

"Wait, aren't you gonna eat some breakfast?"

"Already did Dad. I've been awake since 7 unlike you two.", she walked out.

When she left, Doofenshmirtz noticed something laying on the floor. It was small and golden and kinda shaped like Perry's badge. He picked it up and looked over at Perry.

"Hey, Perry, is this yours?", he asked.

She looked back and instantly dropped her bowl which shattered all over the floor, having been made of ceramic. Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits and her blood began to boil.

"DROP IT!", she yelled at him in a startling manner.

Heinz was left speechless by the sudden attitude. He only stared at her but he should've done something because it only made her more mad. She began to march at him with her hand outstretched, growling her famous platypus noise.

"'I SAID DROP IT!'", she hissed in her own native tongue.

He looked down at the locket in his hand and back at her.

"What exactly is this?", he asked holding onto it tighter.

"My collar. DROP! IT!", she repeated her command.

He looked back down at it and then dug in his lab coat to pull out a black ribbon. He pulled off the leather and slid it through the locket's hole in place. He then turned Perry around. Surprised by the sudden reaction, Perry was about to walk off but the locket was already against her neck almost like a lasso. He quickly tied it up in the back nice and tight.

"Here, I guess you can still wear it as a choker. Vanessa told me a lot of girls like 'em", he said.

When he finished, he gently smoothed out the bow in the back which made Perry tense up a bit, her involuntary reflex wanting to kick in again. He noticed and decided to retract his hand before anything uncomfortable happened to her.

"...Thank you.", she said while her cheeks turned pink and she placed a hand on it with slight relief.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was that important to you.", he shrugged.

"Well... It was given by my owners. It's a special locket so yes, I'm a little protective of who's necessarily handling it.", she explained. "Don't you think this is a little tight?"

"I don't know. It's called a choker, right?"

"Are you sure you're not just trying to choke me like you've done repeatedly before in previous fights?", she asked turning around to him with a raised eyebrow of skeptism.

"Please, Perry hurting you is the last thing on my mind.", he rolled his eyes and began to walk back to his breakfast.

"Yeah right.", she scoffed.

"Perry, why is it hard for you to think I'm just trying to be nice? I'm not entirely evil you know.", he stopped turned around to face her.

"Oh ho and don't I know it. I've seen much more evil than you."

"So why do you always think I'm out to do nothing but petty evil things like trying to choke you? I've tried being good before."

"Till you used the age-acceleratinator for evil.", she retorted folding her hands across her chest.

"Well maybe if you didn't eat all my cheese...", he glared not liking the reminder.

"You're the one who told me that if I start, I won't stop!", her voice rose with her temper.

"You could've waited for me though.", he said trying to remain calm. "Anyway, I was going to say I've tried being good before. I'm not entirely evil."

"Yet you gloat about it like it's something to be proud of!"

"And yet if I was being evil right now, wouldn't I be trying to harm you in a more physical way instead of trying to OPEN YOUR EYES to the fact that I'm having a change of heart for the moment until you return to your platypus form?", he said matching her position.

"Is that the only reason you're arguably 'caring' about me right now, because I'm a human woman?"

"No of course not! Perry even I wouldn't do that."

"So then why care? You obviously still hate me, right?"

"I don't hate you and I never did! I actually-", he stopped in his tracks realizing what was about to be said and decided to retrack as his cheeks grew red and he looked away. "I'm not trying to hurt you with jewelry. If you want to take it off go ahead."

"And what will you be doing with yourself today?", she asked.

"Well I was hoping we could go see a movie actually. I figure that the last few days of your human life, you could at least enjoy a few things platypuses can't.", he shrugged.

"Yeah sure. Let's watch that new movie. What was it called? Oh yeah. How about, 'Fix the Transforminator'?", she said glaring at him as he raised his hands in self-defense.

"Okay okay. Geez you get an early call from Hitler this morning?"

"No I just thought I'd return home to the people who gave me this.", she said, lifting up the locket a bit.

"Well before I work on it, mind if I use the bathroom? Or is that too evil?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, "If you HAVE to."

"When you finish, I'll probably be in the library, kay?"

He walked out of the room on that note and once the door was closed, Perry sighed and rolled her eyes again.

"Darn that man!", she hissed to herself as she went to make the rest of her breakfast.

She was feeling confused inside for the reality of it. She was wanting to be mad at Dr. D and yet at the same time wanted to believe that he really wasn't doing anything evil. But why? Why wouldn't he be doing evil? Wasn't it his thing? She sat down at the table and began to eat. The last few days seemed to be nothing but questions for her and to be perfectly honest, she wasn't getting much of an answer to any of them, just stress. Perry sighed as her mind fumbled over the fight.

'"I don't hate you and I never did! I actually-"... Actually what?', she thought to herself as she ate. 'If he doesn't hate me then..', she shook her head with disbelief. 'No he can't. Impossible. We're enemies and that's how it is. He hates me and I hate him.'

'Do you?', she heard in her mind.

She paused for a minute at the question before shaking her head and continuing her thoughts, 'Yes I do. Of course I do. He's ugly, freaky, evil, and annoying. Besides, it's my job.'

'But are you sure he's still like that?', she argued with herself.

'WHY am I arguing this? We hate each other! A wonderful relationship of hatred! That's all it is!', she scolded herself. 'I need to stop having weird dreams of him and stop doing fun stuff with him! I need to return to Major Monogram as soon as possible!'

'But why do you hate him? Just because he's evil? He seems to have an honest change of heart. What if we were actually more than enemies. Is that even...possible? Friends?', she swallowed hard on her cereal with the step behind that, 'Lovers?'

The thought seemed wrong and yet, so...right.

'Have we always hated each other? Actually HATE each other?', she wondered as her mind trailed along times they would watch soaps, even as a platypus when Doof was feeling hurt about his evilness or upset about something like the viral video. She even dressed as a bear just to help him feel better. Her mind came back to this morning in particular, when she woke up. By this time in her train of thoughts, she was finished with her cereal and placed it in the sink. She grabbed a broom and dustpan out from a nearby closet and proceeded to clean up her earlier mess.

'It was like heaven.', she thought to herself while her mind experienced a small flashback.

She woke up after her dream and opened her eyes a touch to see something white in front of her.

'Oh right. Heinz. His shirt.', she thought after giving it a moment. 'I'm a human female at the DEI and I sleep walk into his room at night.'

She suddenly felt something brush against her head and her nervous system stood on end while her heart began to beat a little faster. It was surprising, but she quickly melted into it and savored the feeling. She heard a soft thumping sound in her ear and recognized it as his heart beat which seemed to go oddly fast.

'Weird. It sounded slower with the Bumbuminator.', she thought dazedly to herself.

Suddenly the hand was pulled away and she almost instantaneously remembered exactly what was going on.

'Wait, I'm in Dr. D's room. I shouldn't be here. But.. I really kinda wanna stay.. But..-', her thoughts were interrupted when the hand returned and she fell limp to its touch again.

Her bones melted under the touch and she moved around to get comfortable and enjoy it more, pausing a moment to kiss his neck gently. A shiver ran down her spine as his hand gently slid around her waist.

'Holy cow.. I thought I liked it well enough when Phineas and Ferb petted me... It's like it's tripled!', she smiled a bit more. 'This is... This is extraordinary.. Like the whole world just disappeared and left us here. Just me and him. His smooth legs, his fast heartbeat..', she felt herself starting to drift back to sleep as she nuzzled the side of his face. 'His cheeks are so warm.. The smell of pork... Pork.. Meat.. Meatloaf... Heinz. Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Wait I'm in bed with Heinz Doofenshmirtz!'

That's when she got up and left the room. Her mind came back to the present where she was walking to Doofenshmirtz's library and realized she wasn't really feeling the floor underneath her feet. An overwhelming feeling was coursing through her body and she almost lost her balance. She stopped herself and cleared her mind a bit. She looked at herself in a nearby mirror, finding her cheeks being a very bright shade of red. She seemed to be like that a lot lately. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing. She liked the weird feeling in her chest. It was strangely nice to have. She stepped onto a nearby elevator and pressed the button for the floor she wanted to go on.  
>'Maybe I should try an experiment...', she thought to herself. 'For the rest of the day, I'll act as casual as possible. No more "Secret Agent Perry". I'll try being like a girl even. It'd only be natural, right? Now.. How do girls greet guys?'<p>

Meanwhile, Doof was busy looking up platypus facts online when Rodney suddenly popped up in a chat window.

"Ugh! I've gotta start signing out of these chat rooms more often! What is it Rodney?", he asked with a sigh.

"Hello Heinz. I thought I'd drop in and share a bit of information I've acquired about Dr. Diminuitive.", he replied.

"Oh, are he and Barry the Badger going daily now?", he asked, half-interested.

"No. Unfortunately, Barry the Badger's been reassigned.", Rodney shrugged.

"Oh man. The poor guy just can't catch a nemesis can he?", Heinz said.

"Indeed not. Sad isn't it?"

"Yeah, hey speaking of a nemesis, mind if I ask you something about Cherry the Cat?"

"Yes?"

"When you trap her or something, does she ever hiss or caterwaul or anything?", he asked, remembering Perry's earlier attitude in the bedroom.

"Actually yes. Why do you ask?"

"Well Perry's...", he paused remembering that Perry would be too casual for enemies. "Perry the Platyhuman... Has been chittering at me when he's proven to be able to speak English so I was curious if he was speaking his native tongue."

"Most likely. Don't you sometimes accidentally speak Druseltilian?"

"Yeah but I didn't really expect that from Perry the Platyhuman. Anyway, gotta go. Bye.", with that he shut the laptop off before Rodeny could ramble about something.

He walked into his library and picked up one of his books on platypus instincts when Perry came into the room.

"Oh, hey Perry.", he greeted.

"Hey Heinz, whatcha doin'?", she greeted cutely with a slight giggle. 


	17. Chapter 17

Doof's smile quickly turned into a look of shock as he quickly slammed the book in his hands closed.

"Nothing!", he said before giving an exaggerated smile. "J-just uh.. Looking over the...structure of a platypus? You know as a refresher!"

"Oh.. That's cool.", she said with a shrug.

It was then that she noticed the large library and how the shelves reached high up to the ceiling.

"Wow. Heinz, how did I not know about this room?", she asked, looking around the place. "I mean, I knew it was here. I have photographic memory and looked at the blueprints to the building, but how did I never COME here?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, I've always had this. A lot of these books I got from my grandmother on my mother's side. The only one in the family who really seemed to acknowledge me till she died.", he shrugged a bit and opened his book again while she looked around. "You like books?"

"Actually, yeah.", she said, completely fascinated with the collection. "Specially good mysterious novels."

"Heh, me too! Honest.", he said with a chuckle.

As he turned back to his book, she noticed one nearby that was titled, "Human Instincts; Female Edition." and immediately snatched it down and flipped through the pages.

'Okay, what all girly things should I look out for?', she thought to herself.

As they read their books, Doof couldn't help but chuckle at a part he was reading.

'A male platypus' spurrs enlarge during mating season? Perry's must've been huge when he met Penny.'

'During a PMS a woman is prone switch between moods? That would explain Vanessa sometimes.', Perry thought, raising an eyebrow.

They read a little more into their books and their expressions simultaneously began to change into something of shock and disgust. After another moment they quickly closed their books and Doof sat his on the table while Perry placed hers back on the shelf. They look at each other, the things they've read still pondering their minds while a moment of silence rested between the two.

"...I'm gonna get to work on that ray!", Doof finally said, pointing at the door.

"Yeah and I'm gonna uh... U-use the bathroom...", Perry said walking out already as her cheeks turned a few shades darker.

When they met back up in the lab, Doofenshmirtz was already working on the machine, Perry came in and sat down. Doof hadn't noticed till he heard the door close behind her and looked up with a smile.

"Oh there you are, Perry.", he greeted.

"Heh, if I had a nickle for every time I hear that.", Perry shook her head. "So how's it coming?"

"Eh okay so far but I'm still kinda early in it. Thank goodness I don't easily forget stuff.

"Yeah. Imagine if I was stuck as a human forever.", Perry chuckled and picked up the paper while Doof felt his heart sink.

"...Yeah...", he said, feeling discouraged. 'Of course in my mind it would be paradise... I wish I knew how to tell her in English...'

They worked in silence and Doofenshmirtz felt like it would be better if there was something to discuss other than, "No, the OTHER wrench, please."

'Conversation topic...the inator? No... Not a whole lot to say on it.. The weather? Come on Heinz, like Perry would wanna talk about something so boring and cliche..'

"Nice weather, huh?", Perry said as she flipped a page.

"...Uh, really? I uh.. I hadn't really noticed."

"Yeah, temperature's already dropping for Fall.", she chuckled at the season. 'Wouldn't that freak Phineas out?'

"Oh yeah. Yeah well you know... Don't go out much. Kinda why I was planning about going to the movies.", he said, hoping to sound casual.

Perry was silent for a moment, wondering what a girl would do in her situation.

'Okay, he's obviously asking me to go to the movies. Practically begging. If Phineas asked Isabella... She'd probably be passing out with excitement. Candace too... Linda? Heck, she goes out with Lawrence all the time! Do girls just always agree with guys? Gosh I hope not...', she thought to herself. "Uh... Sure I guess.."

Doof's face lit up with excitement.

"Really?"

"Yeah sure, I mean.. it IS a nice day. Be kinda nice to go out."

With that Doof got up and was quickly dragging Perry a long with him.

"Well come on then! I just gotta grab my wallet and we'll go!"

After finally catching her step up along behind Doof, Perry mentally face-palmed herself.

'Oh what in the name of Kevin have I done?', she thought to herself. 'I'm SO gonna hate myself for this one...'

They soon headed to the front door but Doofenshmirtz stopped and turned around to Perry.

"...What?", she asked feeling somewhat uncomfortable.

"Nothing it's just.. Are you really gonna wear your fedora?", he asked looking at the small hat on her head.

"...What's wrong with my hat?", she said, her eyebrows pulling into a glare.

"Nothing! But a lot of people don't wear them and it's..kinda small. Just.. Didn't think you'd want a lot of people to stare."

He had a point and she had to admit it. Her hat was kinda small since she was a human.

'But... To go without my hat...', she felt hesitant and her expression showed it. "...Heinz, you show a tendency to normally forget who I am without it."

"..I do?", he asked feeling perplexed at the thought, especially when Perry nodded. "...Perry, I don't think I'll forget who you are if you take off your hat. I have a better time remembering people than animals."

After a moment, she took it off, waiting for Doof to say something stupid like asking what her name was. He only smiled and chuckled.

"See? I still know who you are, Perry.", he said.

She seemed to relax until he lifted a hand suddenly. She took a step back but he just chuckled and reached out to brush some of her hair out of her eyes. She relaxed a bit.

"...Sorry..", she said.

"It's okay. Let's go.", he said simply and they walked out. 'Good step. She's obviously having some trouble trusting me so this is a good step forward.'

They headed out and Perry had to smile feeling the nice warm air against her skin. She let out a soft that Heinz heard. He chuckled and they walked through the city. Perry couldn't help but keep looking around at all the tall buildings and such.

"First time?", Heinz asked as she was looking at a statue.

"Hm? Oh..", she chuckled in slight embarrassment. "Actually... Just walking around... Yeah. My home's in the suburbs. I only come to the city when we're shopping or when I'm fighting you."

They walked on and Doof noticed a somewhat sad look on her expression.

"...Kinda lonely life, huh?", he asked.

"..Kinda..", she admitted. "But times I actually get to be with the boys... It's those times that I really cherish."

"I'm not too surprised. I kinda feel the same with Vanessa. Whenever I get to be with her, it's really nice. Even if she's just ignoring me."

They smiled at each other and before the other knew it, they had reached the theater. They looked through the posters of new movies, trying to pick one out when Perry noticed one entitled, "Fix the Transforminator". She shook her head, hoping that she didn't see right only to be surprised that she was. She looked a little further down and pointed at it.

"Hey Heinz, how about this one?", she asked.

Heinz looked over and his face became fearful.

"Uh.. 'Zombie Apocolypse 6'?", he cringed.

"Sure. You're not scared, right?", she asked with a smirk.

"W-well... Hey! I thought we weren't gonna let you watch anything above PG-13.", he stated, pointing a finger at her.

Her expression fell into a T-eyed look and she simply pointed at the rating.

"'PG'? How's that possible? In the last one the zombies were about to gnaw on his flesh after he was thrown over the staircase by his evil twin!", he asked stunned.

"Well maybe if we watch it, we'll find out.", she said, gaining an edge on the debate.

"Well yeah but what about...wh-what about..", he looked around nervously. "'Fix the Transforminator'? Y-you mentioned it earlier."

"..That was a joke.", she scoffed.

"Well there's gotta be something we can agree on.", he said, placing his hands on his hips.

They looked back through and finally found one. They walked in and walked over to buy snacks.

"Hey how much popcorn you want?", he asked.

"Eh, I don't know. I hear theater popcorn's really gross..."

"Well that's why they remade it so you can put in your own butter and salt and stuff.", he chuckled. "I'll just grab us a medium."

"Kay."

They mixed in their butter and salt and soon found their movie and a couple of good seats.

"Kay, should I just-?", Perry was asking, trying to find a way to hold the popcorn and drink carefully.

"Here. We'll just-", Dr. D stammered as he tried to help Perry out.

They put the popcorn down between them, his hand accidentally on top of hers and pulled back, blushing a bit.

"...Oh hey, Mrs. Pepper's Pelicans.", Doof noted, looking up at the screen.

"Oh yeah. I liked that book.", Perry smiled.

"Eh, for some reason it was giving me nightmares. Hence my dislike for.."

"...for pelicans. I see now.", she said with him.

"Weird, huh?"

"Yeah especially since it was such a cute book."

"Yeah well look at me, I'm the one who comes up with evil schemes from a baby shower."

"Right. Yeah.", she chuckled and rolled her eyes a bit.

The movie soon came on and Perry was soon caught up in the plot line. Sometime about halfway through it, she suddenly noticed that Candace and Jeremy were some rows ahead of them, kissing a lot more than watching the movie.

'Wait.. Do all girls and boys do that when they watch a movie?', she thought to herself. 'No.. No it can't be. No I'm being silly. Candace and Jeremy are in love. That's all. I mean it's not like I'm-'

Her thoughts were suddenly cut off as she reached around in the bag for popcorn but instead found Doof's hand wrapped around hers. The familiar tingle ran up her spine again as his long fingers intertwined around her own. She felt her cheeks become hot again and she looked over at him as he looked back with a slight smile on his face. His eyelids were drooped and Perry's mind was suddenly gone. She leaned closer and so did he as the dialouge on the movie seemed to capture what the other was thinking.

"Is this...right?", the woman on the movie was asking to the hero.

"It is to me.", he said. "Cause I promise you, nothing bad will ever happen to you again."

"But why me? I've treated you so terribly...", they were still moving closer and were just a breath away and Heinz began to talk, following along the dialogue by accident.

"Because I love-", Heinz started to say.

Before he could say the next word, there was an explosion in the movie and Perry's attention was turned elsewhere. She moved back and took her hand back as well. The heat in her cheeks really starting to rise.

'Whoa! Where we just about to..?', she cleared her throat and got up. "I'm gonna go use the bathroom..", she lied and walked off.

When she was gone Doofenshmirtz sighed and laid back into his chair.

'Shoot! Almost did it...', he thought to himself.

She walked out of the theater and fortunately had some time to think over what was just happening.

'W-was he about to..? A-and I was almost..?', her mind was flying and the weird sensation that ran up and down from her head to her toes, wasn't helping much with her walking. 'Whoa whoa okay Perry. Calm down. I think I could stand to have SOME restrain on what I'm gonna say and do today... Here we go, bathrooms.'

She was about to walk in but stopped, staring at her hand. She looked up at the sign on the door finding it was made for guys and looked over to the girls' door right nearby.

'Wait...', she looked between the two, unsure which apply to her. 


	18. Chapter 18

Perry walked into the girls' room finding it only appropriate. She walked over to a sink and looked at herself, feeling embarrassed by her red face.

"Darn.. I can't stop getting excited around him.. Is this what all girls have to go through?", she asked it.

"Only if you're in love.", a small voice said next to her.

Perry looked over to see Isabella there, washing her hands and smiling up at her.

"R-really?", Perry asked, unsure if she should be with Phineas' best friend and secret crush.

"Yeah. That's what my mom says. When you see the man you love, you just get all happy and excited. Like I do every time I see Phineas.", she said cheerfully before letting our a soft dreamy sigh. "He's SOO cool..."

"Mm...", was all Perry could say. 'C-can it be? I mean here's Isabella even telling me this... But.. No! No, I can't POSSIBLY be falling in love with HIM! I mean he's-! He's a freakin' were-cow! A-and he's evil and...'

"Trouble with your lover?", Isabella asked, seeing the woman's face become discouraged.

Perry was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"...Don't really know if I am in love...", she admitted. "Thanks for tip though."

With that, she walked out and back to the movie. She sat back down and Doof looked over, unsure if anything else was going to happen. He smiled a bit, seeing her relax back into her chair as they watched. It was cute seeing Perry content.

'If only she knew...', he thought. 'I wish I could tell her. Maybe I can find an opportunity soon.'

When the movie ended they walked out, seeming to have a rather good time despite the earlier incident.

"Ha ha! Yeah that's true.", Perry laughed as they walked out. "I REALLY didn't see that ending coming!"

"Heh, yeah. Nice touch there. With the robot's eye turning back on."

"Can say that again. Anyway..", suddenly a thought came back to Perry's mind and she looked back at Heinz, hoping not to spoil the good mood. "Uh... Should we get back to the -inator?"

Doof stopped in his tracks for a moment, his shoulders slumping a bit.

"Oh.. Yeah I guess so. Sorry, I didn't mean for the whole day to be taken up."

"No, no. It was nice to get out, but really. I think we should get back at it."

"..Right. Let's go.", he said walking on.

They came back into the building and soon came across Vanessa who turned around, surprised to hear someone in the room.

"Oh! There you guys are.", she greeted.

"Hey Vanessa.", Perry returned before turning to Dr. D. "I'm gonna head to the lab. Later."

"Be right there just wanna grab some water first. The popcorn was really dry."

When she walked out Vanessa immediately turned on her dad suspiciously.

"Dad, are you trying to hit on your nemesis?", she asked.

Doof quickly felt embarrassed and he gave a shrug with a sheepish chuckle.

"W-well...", he started nervously.

"I knew it.", she simply stated before walking over to the TV to pick out a DVD.

"...Wait you KNEW?", he asked, following her.

"Dad I knew when I saw you turned Perry into a girl."

"Well look it's not like I was intending for me to fall for her.", he argued. "And the whole girl thing was just cause the wires were messed up and made her take the true form of-"

"Dad, it's cool. I've been waiting for you to get a love-life finally.", she simply said with a slight shake of her head.

"...Really?"

"Yeah. And it's kinda obvious in retrospect that you'd fall for Perry."

"Yeah, that's kinda how I knew I loved her. But I haven't gotten a chance to tell her yet. Stuff keeps popping up like a terrible pop-up ad."

"Well you better do it before you turn her back into a platypus."

"Right.", with that, he walked back out after grabbing a cup of water and headed into the lab.

He worked on the machine, she handed him a few parts and soon the ray gun was done. He sat down the wrench with a sigh. Perry had gone to get something to drink as well and when she came back he looked up at her while his heart sank.

"Hey.", she said.

"Hey. It's...It's done.", he simply said.

His heart sank further as her face lit up. She sat the glass down and walked over quickly, practically running.

"It is? Awesome! Come on, let's fire it up!", she was practically bouncing with anticipation.

Heinz only sighed and stood up with it in his hands. He walked around the table and Perry got ready to be hit with the blast.

'Yes! Finally!', she thought. 'I can finally return to my family and everything will go back to normal. No more awkward accidents!'

'Why am I even depressed?', he asked himself. 'It's not like it would've worked anyway. What girl could love you? WHY would SHE love you? It's for the best to let her go and it's not like you have much choice.. right? You promised. A promise is a promise. I could at least not break it.'

His heart surprisingly sank even further than how low it already was as he looked down at the small machine. The dials and switches on the back, the gleaming "DEI" sticker on the side with the title on the other. He sighed heavily at the sight of it. Perry noticed his hesitation and was confused.

"Heinz? I'm ready. Aren't you gonna use it?"

Doofenshmirtz felt his heart pounding hard in his chest. He looked up at Perry and held up the gun. She smiled, her heart was racing with excitement.

'Yes! Yes!', she was thinking to herself.

Suddenly Doof threw it against the ground where it smashed into bits. Perry's jaw dropped while Doofenshmirtz only stared at her sternly.

"You...! Y-You just..!", she stammered as she fell to her knees.

"Yeah! I destroyed it!", he said. "I don't want to turn you back Perry! You can break my bones if you wanna, but I don't want things to go back to what they were! Perry, I...", he hesitated as his cheeks became pink. "I...", he saw her stood up, her face glowering in pure rage as her head hung a bit.

"...You WHAT?", she hissed. "What? You want me to suffer even MORE?"

"That's the thing Perry! I think you were already suffering before all this.", he said taking a step to her before quietly adding, "Or I was at least.."

"What are you talking about? Heinz, I'm suffering more being here than back where I belong!"

Doofenshmirtz swallowed hard. He felt his body shaking a bit with nervousness, but he knew he had to say it. He was tired of beating around the bush like a spineless schnitzle. He knew he had to suck up and do what all men hated to do at this moment, talk about his emotions. Not in a sniveling way. In the dreaded affectionate way that reveals all that is embarrassing for him to say in a slightly more real scene. As he looked up to speak, he suddenly had to jump to the side to advoid being punched in the face by Perry who was already convinced he was doing this for all the entirely wrong reasons.

"Stand still already!", she yelled trying to kick him.

Heinz quickly stepped back again, almost tripping over himself and found he wasn't gonna get to say much at this point and decided to make a run for it. Perry of course chased him, remaining right on his tail.

"Doofenshmirtz!", she yelled not dropping a beat in time to his feet.

She finally caught up to him and grabbed his lab coat, but he had started to trip on a screwdriver and the two tumbled onto the floor landing in a position that would've been a lip lock had they been a few centimeters closer. Perry quickly sat up, her face bright red though still scowling down at him while Heinz, also blushing hard, was still trying to swallow the spark he felt flying up his spine. His eyes were wide as they locked onto hers and for a moment, she was about to punch him but finding each other in a rather embarrassing position and knowing that she wasn't gonna get far to going back to a platypus without his well being, she started to get off. Started to, that is, until she felt a hand on her arm and looked down to find that Doofenshmirtz's face wasn't of fear, but of almost desire. Like he was trying to say something if he wasn't staring at her weirdly. She tried to avoid eye contact as he kept at it.

"Wh-what?", she said. "Is there something on my face or is there something you finally have to say for yourself?"

"...I love you..", Heinz finally and softly said after a small moment of silence, completely throwing Perry off guard. "and...I think...you...love me...right?"

She couldn't help but blush as her eyes became wide. She turned to him, her heart skipping every other beat. After another pause, she finally groaned and stood up, her scowl returning. She folded her arms across her chest with a small huff of indignation.

"Th-that's ridiculous!", Perry said trying to maintain her confidence. "Why on earth would you think of something so..."

"True?", he said also standing up. A little mad that she's trying to lie to him. "Perry, don't go into denial here."

"I'm not in denial!", she snapped. "Heinz, listen to yourself! It's me, Perry. The once-been-platypus nemesis you would normally say you despise! We're enemies, foes, rivals. There is NO way I can be in love with you!"

"What just cause your JOB calls you to fight with me? I can always drop evil Perry. In case you don't remember, I DID until you ate all the cheese."

"Yeah well in case YOU don't remember, I'm supposed to be a BOY, PLATYPUS."

"Yeah but now you're a human girl! You can STAY a human girl too of you wanna!"

"That's the thing! I don't WANT to. I WANT to return to my family!"

"They lost their platypus! I've lost over dozens of pets when I was growing up. It's perfectly FINE. And they're not the only people who care about you! I love you too! And I don't love you cause you're a 'mindless animal'. I love you cause you're...", he struggled to find the words but finally settled with, "you! Perry the butt-kicking, soap-watching, friendly, smart, kind, and wonderful secret agent!"

"Yeah well I won't be a secret agent anymore if you don't turn me back!"

Heinz was sick of her attitude. He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and forcibly shoved her against the wall, rage and determination was on his face. Having nothing else but her attention; on his mind. Perry gasped at the sudden action and odd strength he had over her.

"Perry. WAKE. UP! You're NOT what Monobrow makes you be and you're NOT a mindless pet people just let wonder in and out of their lives! I KNOW who you are now and I don't want to loose it to a bunch of people who make you what you're not! I love you Perry! And I know you love me too! WHY are you arguing with YOURSELF about this?"

Perry was for once, speechless. She tried to think of what to say. For the first time in a long time, mortal terror seized her. She was actually shaking there in his hands.

"I... I don't...", she muttered, trying to find a way to regain her confidence.

"YES. Yes you DO.", he said trying as hard as possible to wake her up to it. "I KNOW you do! I know because you've had opportunity a plenty to just forget about me. You could defeat me within 5 seconds instead of waiting around 5 hours! But no, you actually listen to me! You care about me! I know you do! Even when you couldn't talk, I always could just feel that you cared about me. And now you're going to LIE about it? Perry if anyone, Monogram's the problem here! All he ever does to you is make you do his dirty work cause he's so lazy he couldn't get anyone else to! He uses your family against you. I can already tell just by what you've told me! THIS is why I never wanted to send you back! You'd be stuck as his slave and I would NEVER have the heart to fight you anymore."

Perry stared at him, her throat was dry and her heart was racing. She tried to get her mind on straight and looked away for a moment, trying to gain some means of anything other than fear. She finally swallowed and looked up at him, her eyebrows narrowing into a tight glare. She grabbed his hands and shoved them off her.

"I HATE you..", she said, her voice, cold though shaking a little bit. "I don't LIKE you. I NEVER liked you. I never WILL like you and I certainly will never LOVE you!"

"YOU DO.", he said just as sternly. "I know you do and you do too. And if you need proof, then THIS is all you'll need!"

With that, he smashed his mouth against hers. Everything disappeared again inside of Perry as she was pressed against the wall again. She tried to speak but it only opened up more for Heinz to take control of. She felt like something electrical was zipping up her spine and back down her legs making them as weak as pudding. Her knees knocked against each other. Her heart was pounding hard like it was ready to jump out of her chest. For a moment, it felt like the world was spinning around her though she wasn't even touching it. It almost made her sick. Her stomach was churning and she shivered from the overwhelming sensations that took control of her. She was screaming in her head about how wrong this all was. How it was against Monogram, against what Perry stood for, and against the laws of Nature itself. It had to stop and soon. She finally wedged her hands away from his but found that to be a mistake as he held just below her jaw line to pressed into it even more. She got her hands on his shoulders and pushed against him forcibly, finally breaking loose. She panted heavy, her cheeks burning bright and red and she was looking anywhere but back at him, fully turning her head away. He blinked for a moment, in some confusion but then noticed her hands were shaking. Her entire body was shaking under him. He saw the fear in her and suddenly it came clear of what he was doing to her. How he was actually scaring her more than anything. It seemed odd to look at her face and in one way, see Perry the Platypus, the one who was as tough as steel and cooler than ice. Can handle anything with a strong spine and wasn't afraid to get dirty with his work. Yet in a different sense, here was a woman who had been kept away from her beloved job, her family, her home, all because of what? An incompetent, fake-doctrine, ugly-as-sin, and not-even-close-to-evil scientist. And to only prove this thought, a tear escaped her eye and quickly rolled down her face. He sighed half in frustration, half in defeat and let go of her as he backed up. Perry instantly held her arms, breaking down into soft sobs as she curled up on the floor. The whole thing was not what either was planning on happening. 


	19. Chapter 19

What happened next, Perry couldn't remember much of it. She knew there was yelling and that she was running down the halls of the DEI. Her vision was blurred by her tears and she felt her knees wobbling from what Doof had just done. She suddenly tripped and looked back up to a pair of black boots. She looked up further to find Vanessa there with a slightly surprised expression which soon fell to sympathy. Vanessa helped up the confused platywoman and lead her to her room.

"Come on Perry.", she simply said.

Once in Vanessa's room, Perry sat on the bed, clutching tightly to a pillow Vanessa had offered her. She looked around a bit, finding the room to smell rather different than the rest of the building. It was weird but somehow...comforting. The most comfort Perry found this whole week. Vanessa soon came back into the room with a couple cups of hot coffee. She sat down one next to Perry on her bedside table and sat down on the other side of Perry.

"You feeling a little better?", she asked before taking a sip.

Perry was still for a moment before silently shaking her head, "No." and burying her face further into the pillow.

"Didn't think so.", Vanessa simply said as she nodded to Perry's cup. "Drink up. It'll help you feel better."

Perry gingerly reached out for the mug and picked it up. It was hard not to spill a bit as her hand was still shaking hard.

"Do you wanna talk about it?", the mad doctor's daughter asked.

Perry only stared at the design on the mug. It was blue like her hair with little orange platypus paw-prints all over it for a pattern. On the handle was written "Perry", as if it was made for her. Vanessa noticed and smiled a bit.

"Dad's arts and crafts...", She held up her own which was pink with unicorns and ice cream cones painted on it. The handle being a rainbow which only deserved a somewhat dry chuckle from its owner. "...He means well. My other one is in the dishwasher. But he made that one for you before he turned you human. Figured you could at least drink out of something that didn't have his logo slapped on it."

"...D-does...he...really...?", Perry stuttered, her voice higher than normal and shaky.

Vanessa was silent for a moment before finally finding a way to put it.

"He... He didn't really ever hate you...", she finally said. "Dad's actually always liked being around you. He's told me so himself. So getting to know you better and such.. I guess he's really come to realize just how important you are to him and he can be a little...protective... I guess you can say. I mean I had to REALLY argue with him about letting me go out with Johnny. But the thing is... Do you love him too?"

Perry clutched the pillow tighter and sat her mug on the table again. To be honest, she wasn't really sure what she felt at the point. Anger, sad, and everything else all mixed into one sickening emotion. Vanessa understood and gently rubbed her back comfortingly. Perry was slightly surprised at Vanessa's sudden mood for the moment. It was like she and Perry had been best friends for a long time and she was very appreciative for the compassion. She eased up again and picked up the coffee and took a sip before putting it back. A nice warmth filling her innards as she sighed.

"Wh-why a-are you caring a-about me?", Perry finally asked.

"...Cause you're a part of my family.", Vanessa said with a smile.  
>Perry looked up at her with tears still streaming down her face.<p>

"R-really?", she asked.

"Yes.", Vanessa replied. "Even as a platypus."

Perry sniffled a bit before completely throwing herself in Vanessa's arm and crying out even more than before. Vanessa only chuckled and returned the embrace.

"It's okay.. It's okay..", she said soothingly.

Perry stayed there for the rest of the day while Vanessa tended to her, going out once in a while to get more coffee for them though Perry was slow with her cup. One time Vanessa came back in and found Perry fast asleep on her bed after finally finishing off her mug. She simply smiled and helped take off her shoes and pulled the covers up over her.

"G'night Perry.", she said. 


	20. Chapter 20

Doofenshmirtz's mind was still pondering over what Perry couldn't remember. He had walked a bit away from her, trying to think of something he could say to try to make it better. Unfortunately nothing could come to his mind. Perry, however, wasn't speechless. She stood back up, holding her head a bit and wobbling. They looked at each other for a moment, Doof was wanting so badly to say SOMETHING to turn it around.

"Perry.. I-", he started to say before Perry backed up defensively.

"NO! Just don't even try!", she snapped as a new wave of tears began to flow down her face. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I didn't like you! I don't love you! AND I NEVER WILL! I HATE YOU!"

With that she ran out of the room, leaving Doofenshmirtz alone to chew himself out. So there he was. Slumped over backwards in his chair, glaring up at the ceiling like he had done for multiple reasons in times past. Mouthing curses to himself over and over. Almost a ritual for whenever he messed up, now.

'It's all my fault...', he thought miserably to himself. 'I blew up and blew it wide open and ruined it.'

Suddenly Norm came in at that moment with a cup of coffee for him.

"Hello Sir! I brought you some coffee!", he said cheerfully.

Doofenshmirtz only languidly turned his head to the robot with a scowl on his face. It soon softened and he dragged himself up from his position and took the mug.

"Thanks...", he said before taking a sip. "...Norm? Can I ask you a question and get a complete, 100% honest answer?"

"Yes!"

"...Do you ever think I could get a girl?", he asked.

"I thought you already did."

"Perry? Didn't you hear her scream? She hates me. Plain and simple...", he said, slumping a bit more.

"But Sir! Didn't you say 'I hate you' is the same as 'I love you'?", Norm asked.

Doof paused for a moment. He didn't exactly remember when he ever said that but he always felt like it was true. A smile soon came on his face.

'Could Perry think the same way?', he thought hopefully to himself.

He quickly sat down the coffee mug and jumped out of his seat.

"That's it Norm! I haven't explained myself well enough and there's STILL hope that she could love me! Thank you! You're the best, Son!", he ran out of the room, renewed with hope.

Meanwhile Norm only turned around to look as Doof ran out while an oil-drop fell down his face like a tear.

"He called me 'son'!", he said happily to himself. 


	21. Chapter 21

The next day, Phineas and Ferb were in the backyard with Buford and Baljeet, constructing things with a smile on their faces and a song in their hearts. At the moment, Isabella came in through the fence.

"Hey Phineas!", she said, putting on her cutie-act. "Whatcha dooin?"

"Hey! We're making a cool machine that'll make us witness all sorts of crazy illusions!", Phineas said as he smiled back at her.

"Really? Why?"

"Cause, according to Candace, they sound really cool to have!"

"Candace?", she asked pausing for a moment.

"Yeah. Apparently when we visited our grandparents, she got into some moss and started seeing weird zebras and stuff. So Ferb and I thought it'd be cool to see what our subconsciousness would produce. Maybe we'll get an idea for tomorrow's activities!"

"Oh. That's cool!", she brightened up but then looked around, puzzled. "Hey, where's Perry?"

"I dunno. He never came back.", he shrugged.

"Really? I thought for sure he'd come back before you guys went to bed...", she said, looking worriedly at Phineas.

"Nah. I guess he's just gone.", he replied, turning back to conitnue working on the project.

"...And you're fine with that?"

"Yeah. If he ran away and he's happy about it, so are we. Right Ferb?", he looked over and Ferb came up from behind a metal wall.

Ferb only nodded.

"Wow.. You guys are handling this a lot better than I thought.", she simply said.

"Well anyway, Isabella, would you mind tightening this up for me while Ferb and I go get some more supplies inside?"

"Sure thing!", she smiled and began to work.

"Come on Ferb.", Phineas beckoned and the two went into the garage and as soon as Phineas closed the door behind him, he paused for a moment before suddenly breaking down into a fit of tears over his lost pet. Ferb placed a reassuring hand on his step-brother's slumped shoulder.

"Ferb.. What if he's hurt? What if... we never saw Perry ever again?", Phineas sobbed. "Sorry for acting like I didn't really care.. I didn't want Isabella to worry. Just...", he turned around worriedly to his step-brother. "Ferb what if he got taken to the pound? Or killed? It doesn't make any sense of why he didn't come back home..."

Ferb handed him a tissue and he wiped up his tears. Ferb then handed him a monkey wrench which he glumly took as Ferb picked up a toolbox.

"You're right. The best we could do is move on..", he said softly.

"Perhaps someday, we'll know what happened.", Ferb replied.

They walked back out into the backyard with a fake smile on their faces, just in time for Vanessa to walk in through the gate. She seemed a bit out of breath but she walked over in a hurry once she saw the boys.

"Oh there you guys are!", she said, panting.  
>As she walked, she pulled something out of her purse and held it up to Phineas and Ferb. It was their lost-posters for Perry and Phineas's eyes instantly grew wide at the sight of it.<p>

"I know where he is.", she said.

Instantly Phineas looked up at her, eyes wide with hope and slight panic.

"You know where Perry is? Is he okay? What's happened to him?", Phineas began wildly asking which slightly freaked Vanessa out as she took a few steps back from him to keep distance. "He's doing okay, right? Where is he?"

"Whoa whoa calm down Phineas! P-perry's fine!", Vanessa said hoping it would help him calm down a bit.

Just then Candace came out with her normal busting attitude.

"I gotcha now! You boys are SOO bust- oh! Hey Vanessa.", she said, acknowledging the other's presence.

"Candace! Vanessa knows where Perry is!", Phineas said joyfully to his older sister who only returned with an eye-roll.

"Oh.. Great...", she said sarcastically.

"So where is he?", Buford asked while everyone came up to Vanessa.

"Well.. Uh...", Vanessa started to say, unsure of where to begin. "Heh, it's funny you say 'he'...Sh- He-", she sighed rolling her eyes. "PERRY...is actually...not who you really think he is.. Listen guys, for a long time now Perry's been a..secret agent who..fights my dad.."

Everyone was silent for a moment and Vanessa was worried she just sounded like a complete lunatic. But before she had much time to react, Phineas had snapped again and was being held back by the other kids while he was trying to grab Vanessa and shake her hard by her shoulders.

"QUIT MESSING WITH MY MIND WOMAN!", he yelled at her while struggling against his friends and Ferb. "WHAT HAPPENED TO PERRY? TELL ME! WHERE'S PERRY?"

Candace sighed expectantly and pulled him back by his shirt collar and unceremoniously plopped him on the ground. Vanessa stared for a moment before finally snapping out of the shock.

"Uh.. Phineas, I'm not trying to mess with ya. I'm serious. Every time I see my dad, Perry would come in and destroy his inventions."

"Why would Perry do that?", Isabella asked.

"Cause my dad's evil.", Vanessa shrugged while everyone stared at her for a moment with raised eyebrows and a whole, "Your DAD?" attitude. "Not that I'm evil! I try to bust him!"

"Hey wait, how do we know you're not making this up?", Baljeet asked suspiciously.

Vanessa only raised a large black bag, sighed, and pulled out her laptop. She opened it up and soon pulled up live shots of Perry and Doofenshmirtz fighting.

"Ohhhh!", everyone said in unison, understandingly.

"You know it's kinda obvious in retrospect.", Buford remarked.

"Wait, why didn't Perry tell us this? Doesn't he trust us?", Phineas asked with concern.

"No I'm sure he does.", Vanessa said quickly. "But, I think it's his job. When I learned, there was a huge fight of whether or not I could still see Dad cause Perry's boss was worried that I would blab about the organization to all sorts of people. Fortunately I didn't become so much of a threat anymore after they saw that I didn't really care about what my dad was doing with Perry. So if you found out, Perry would probably have to be sent away to keep you guys safe.."

"Oh... So.. His job's holding him up?", Phineas pressed.

"Kind of. See my dad made a machine that turned Perry into a human. Since Perry didn't want you guys to find out, he's been staying at Dad's waiting for him to change him back. But when Dad tried he...kinda...sorta...turned Perry into a...girl."

Everyone stared at her for a moment before Ferb fell over unconscious at the thought of his pet being a woman.

"...WOW... Uh... O-kaaayyy...", Phineas said. "I'm... I'm not sure how to respond to that... Why are you telling us though?"

"Cause my dad's so predictable, I knew he'd fall in love with her. But I also knew he'd mess it up and now they're in a huge fight. I want your guys' help to get them back together. This is probably the only real chance they'd have at love."

"So.. You dad likes Perry?", Isabella asked.

"Yeah."

"But... Perry doesn't like him back?", Phineas pressed on.

"Yeah. Well.. She's kinda arguing with herself. I think she likes him, but she's so used to hating him so much, it's kinda confusing."

"Oh. That's sad...", Phineas said glumly. His expression suddenly turned into a smile and he turned to Ferb. "Ferb! I know what we're going to do, toNIGHT! We could use the End of Summer City-Wide Bash to bring them together!"

"Hey wait, isn't it a little late for you guys to sign up to host it? What if the host doesn't do anything that would hook them up?", Candace remarked.

"I already got it covered.", Vanessa said. "I signed Candace up for it a few days ago."

"Wait, why me?", Candace asked nervously.

"Well Johnny told me you threw the greatest party last year.", Vanessa replied.

"...Good point.", was all Candace could say.

"Awesome! Ferb, you start calling up the bands. See if you can get Love Handle. Isabella, can you handle refreshments?", Phineas said, turning to her.

"You got it, Phineas!", she replied with a smile.

"Oh! And make sure the punch has lemons.", Phineas said with a wide smile.

"Lemons?"

"Yeah! Perry loves lemons!"

"Oh! We may wanna make sure my uncle doesn't pop up. My dad has a few...issues with him... Girl-Related issues."

"Okay sure. Who's you're uncle?", Phineas asked.

"Roger Doofenshmirtz.", Vanessa simply said with a slight sigh. 


	22. Chapter 22

Everyone stared at Vanessa, eyes wide and stunned.

"...The MAYOR?", Phineas asked for everyone.

"Yeah. My dad's name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Didn't I tell you?", Vanessa asked.

"Uh... No. Wow, how can we stop the mayor from coming into a city wide party?", Phineas asked.

"Ooh! Can I work the velvet rope this time?", Baljeet asked.

"Hey! I don't see YOU carrying your own velvet rope around!", Buford said, pushing Baljeet back a bit.

"Hey guys, I don't think there'll BE a velvet rope with you two acting like this!", Isabella said, hoping to break the fight.

"I got an idea.", Candace said while scheming internally. "And both of them could be the velvet rope."

"Alright. Vanessa, you go invite your dad and Perry!"

"Right."

Later that day, Vanessa walked in to the living room where Doofenshmirtz was laid back in his recliner, glumly staring into space. He heaved a big sigh as he continued his pitiful sulking. It was actually depressing to just LOOK at him and Vanessa felt bad as she walked closer. She's seen him in these states when a date would stand him up or an inator would blow in his face, most often with a case of beer nearby.

"Dad?", she asked shyly.

He looked over, not really turning his head much or anything.

"Oh.. There you are Vanessa.", he croaked, his voice low and full of sorrow. "Perry's been avoiding me all day. I think she's up on the top floor if you wanna go and have your personal girly fun. I know you how you guys like to make fun of me together..."

He had been shot down, given the cold shoulder, and just all out ignored by Perry all day long. Even to the point where Perry would lock herself in the bathroom with headphones on at max. It only crushed his spirit and hopes of love and Vanessa could very well tell.

"Uh.. A-anyway, I was curious about something."

"Yes?"

"Well see, the city's End of Summer party is coming up and-"

"If you wanna go with your friends, I don't care. I'll call Charlene to pick you up.", he said, thinking he knew what she was intending.

"...Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to come along. I-I don't have a date and I thought it'd look...kinda awkward..", Vanessa said, feeling utterly stupid and thankful none of her friends are there.

This managed to catch Heinz's attention as he seemed to snap out of his sad trance and look over at her a bit.

"Really? Me?", he asked, receiving a nod from his daughter. "W-well... I dunno Pumpkin. I don't really go to those things..."

"Please, Dad?", Vanessa asked, putting on a cute childish grin for him.

Doofenshmirtz smiled a bit and gave into it, sitting up in his chair a bit more.

" Alright. I can't say no to that cute face.", he finally said, his voice lifting a bit. "What time is it?"

"It'll start at 8. Thanks Dad!", she quickly kissed him on the cheek and went off to find Perry, leaving her dad in higher spirits than before.

Meanwhile Perry was where Doofenshmirtz guessed. That large room where most painful memories were kept. She stared up through the glass dome above her at the clouds in the sky. Her mind reeling with flashbacks of Peter the Panda and the heartbreaks and everything else.

'I felt so hurt that day finding Peter in the closet. So hurt that Peter, my best friend, was fighting my nemesis. Hurt that my nemesis was fighting my best friend. But...when I think about it... Why was I hurt? I didn't have to fight him anymore. I frankly didn't like the constant fighting. So why..?', she sighed as the memories flooded in.

Then that small voice in the back of her head began talking to her again.

'Think perhaps you were hurt, cause you couldn't see him anymore?', she told herself. 'Think about it. He obviously loves to spend time with you. And the ONE day you couldn't see him, you could barely fall asleep let alone actually enjoy being around everyone else. Especially when you heard about Potty coming in a taking your place. That's why you wanted to give him the chicken soup when he was sick. Why you wanted to help when he was transforming into a were-cow which seemed to have now faded out of his life. Not because you guys hate each other but...but because he loves you and loves to be with you. And I actually might-'

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard Vanessa calling out her name a third time. She looked over and absent-mindedly began to wipe off her tears.

"S-sorry. I didn't hear you.", She quickly said. "Lost in thought."

"No it's cool. I understand.", she said. "Anyway, so you know the End of Summer party is going on tonight."

"Yeah. Monogram normally throws one for the agents. Pinky tells me it's great though."

"Well some friends of mine are gonna drive me there, you wanna tag along? I'm sure you'd have a blast."

"Mmm... I don't know..", Perry began to say.

"We can go look for a fun party dress for you.", Vanessa offered, winning Perry over with her girly instincts.

"W-well.. I... Ah, okay! you got me.", Perry smiled and giggled.

And with that, the two left the room, unaware of what the night held in store for them. 


	23. Chapter 23

That night, Doofenshmirtz was waiting down on the bottom floor, fixing up his black jacket a bit as he waited for Vanessa.

'I swear, girls take so long getting ready!', he grumbled to himself, checking his watch. 'She said 8 and it's already a quarter till. Ah well try to stay calm. At least you're gonna TRY to have fun.'

Suddenly a ding came from the nearby elevator and he turned around in time for the doors to open and Vanessa to walk out. She was dressed in a black, knee-high skirted, strapless dress with red bracelets and black high heels. He smiled but it quickly disappeared as he saw Perry following right behind her. Both she and Doofenshmirtz stared at each other, knowing what the special dressing up is for. Perry's dress was blue as would be expected with an orange ban around her middle with a matching fake rose sewn to it. Her high heels were also orange much like her nail polish. Vanessa only continued to smile and glanced back at Perry.

"So, Dad. Whatcha think of Perry's dress?", she asked seemingly innocently.

"Oh! Uh..", Doof thought quickly of something good to say, without making Perry uncomfortable. "It's uh.. It's very nice, Perry."

"Oh.. Thanks.", she nodded.

"Yeah uh.. I uh..guess we should be going, huh?", he asked, receiving a nod from Vanessa.

He quickly walked out of the room, feeling his cheeks burn from having to talk to a girl who turned him down. Vanessa began to follow but was quickly pulled aside by Perry.

"Vanessa, I thought you said your friends were gonna drive us!", she whispered urgently.

"Yeah well they uh.. got kinda tied up. So Dad offered to drive us."

Perry began feeling nervous as the walked to the garage. Doof climbed into the driver's seat and Vanessa opened the door for Perry to get in. Unfortunately this was the same pick-up truck Doofenshmirtz drives in when carrying one of his -inators and there was only three seats up front so Perry found herself in the awkward position of being in the middle of Vanessa and Doofenshmirtz and they all found it to be a very tight fit.

'Oh my gosh this is so awkward!', Perry and Doofenshmirtz thought at the same time.

Meanwhile at the city's convention center where the party was being held at, Roger pulled up in his own car and walked to the door, ready to have a good night as anyone else would. But as he approached the door, Buford and Baljeet were already there and blocked him from entering. Baljeet held up a clipboard and looked up at Roger expectantly.

"Name?", he asked.

"Wha-? I'm Roger Doofenshmirtz.", he said, wondering why he was being held up.

"I'm sorry, your name's not on the list.", Baljeet said, after flipping through multiple pages.

"You shoulda made a reservation yesterday.", Buford said, crossing his arms.

"This is a city-wide party. Why would I need a reservation?", Roger asked, bewildered at the kids and stepped forward to get in, causing Buford and Baljeet to block him with outstretched arms.

"Sorry, but we can't let you in Sir.", Baljeet said. "Your name isn't on the list."

"Listen, I'm the mayor! How am I held off from a city wide function?", he argued, finding them annoying. "I'm going in."

As he tried to get in, Buford held up a walkie-talkie and began to casually talk into it.

"Uh, we're experiencing difficulty at the front gate, level B. Please send in reinforcement.", he said.

Candace soon came out of the building.

"I'm sorry, Sir. What seems to be the trouble here?", she asked kindly.

"And who are you?", he asked.

"The hostess.", she replied simply.

"Aren't you a little young to be hosting a city-wide party?", he asked.

"Yes. Yes I am.", she replied.

"Well either way, your 'security' won't let me in.", he said.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Roger Doofenshmirtz. The mayor of the city."

"Ah.", she nodded knowingly. "Excuse me a minute."

She walked away until she was out of ear-shot and began to phone-call someone.

"Hello Mrs. Doofenshmirtz? My name is Candace Flynn. I'm a teenager who's hosting a party that your son is trying to break into which I find VERY disturbing. No.. No, not Heinz. Your- No. Not Only Son. Your other son. ...Yes I mean Roger Doofenshmirtz. Yes the mayor of the city. He's just a few feet away from me right now. I would very much appreciate it for you to come over at your earliest convenience. Thank you. Yes, I mean Roger Doofenshmirtz. Thank you. Good-bye.", she hung up and walked over with a smile. "I'm sorry, Sir. Just wait a few more minutes and everything will be straightened out."

"About time.", he replied, tapping his foot impatiently.

Just about then, another car pulled up and the four looked over to see it was Heinz's as he parked and the trio inside climbed out. Candace quickly went inside while Roger smirked, seeing his brother.

'Well, maybe I'll get a laugh out of tonight at least. I'd LOVE to see Heinz try to get in.', he thought to himself.

As the trio approached, Heinz felt his guts knot up, seeing his younger brother there.

"Heinz! How nice to see you tonight.", Roger greeted with a cheesy smile.

"Oh great. You're coming to this party to?", Heinz groaned.

"Well of course being the mayor and all, I might as well have a little fun once in a while.", he turned to Perry. "Ah and I see you've brought a little friend.", he took her hand and gently kissed it. "Very nice to meet you, Ma'am."

Heinz quickly snatched it up and pulled Perry closer to him, much to her dislike.

"Hey back off Roger! She's not up for grabs.", he said possessively.

"Oh you two together? How sad.", he said sarcastically before looking over at Perry. "Course I'm sure she'll still have a great night later, anyway."

Perry glared at Roger, understanding what he was trying to hint at. She then smirked and wrapped her arms around the older brother's neck.

"Yeah, I'm sure there's tons of fun things we'll do later. Right, Heinz?", she said slyly, praying that Roger would back off.

Heinz's face only turned a bright red while Roger's turned into a deepening scowl. Before anything else could be said, Vanessa quickly got a hold of Perry and her dad's hands and began to take them to the door.

"Hey guys! Let's go head inside, kay?", she said cherfully, worried about a fight soon to break out.

'Heh, yeah right. Let's just see how my brother smooth talks himself in on this one.', Roger thought cockily as he turned around and watched.

"Doofenshmirtz party of 3?", Vanessa asked the two boys.

Baljeet scanned through, stopped and smiled and showed the list to Burford who also smiled and began removing the rope.

"Sure uh-", Burford's eyes widened as he saw a car pull up to the curb. "But first! We need you three to uh.. casually stand over there! Some few feet away. NOW."

Vanessa looked behind them while Perry and Doof stared, puzzled and recognized the car quickly. She began to lead them away.

"Uh, sure! Come on, we don't wanna get in a fight, right guys?", she said quickly.

Heinz and Perry only shrugged at each other and walked behind her. Meanwhile, as Roger watched an all too familiar voice was heard from behind him and caused him to flinch.

"Roger Doofenshmirtz!", his mother yelled as she came out of the car. "You are trying to crash a teenager's party? You are SO busted!"

Roger quickly whirled around, fearful and perplexed. His brother's attention was also caught, hearing his mother's voice again and he looked over in shock to see her there.

"Wha-? Me? I-I-!", before Roger could talk, his mother grabbed him by the ear and began to drag him into the car which caused Heinz to laugh hard. "Ow! OW! N-no Mother! I-It's not just me! Heinz! Heinz is here too! Look!"

Mrs. Doofenshmirtz paused and looked over to where her son was pointing in time to see Heinz spy a penny on the ground and pick it up, looking carefully at the year on it.

"...Hey!", he exclaimed, finding it his birth year and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Oh Roger, he's just picking a penny off the ground. He doesn't do much, you know.", she sighed before pulling him into the car.

Roger looked out the window after the door was closed on him to see Heinz waving with an evil, cheesy smile that stretched from ear to ear. The two drove off and the others walked back to the door in time to see Candace walk back out with a wide smile of her own.

"Oh! Well it looks like he's gone.", she said to herself before high-fiving Vanessa as she walked by. "Boy, does it feel good to bust someone around here!"

"Nice plan.", Vanessa chuckled before heading inside. 


	24. Chapter 24

Once they were inside, Heinz turned to Perry as a thought came to mind.

"Hey, Perry?", he began to say. "What uh.. Why were you acting like that back there with Roger?"

"Oh! Uh..", her face grew red as she looked away. "I.. Well look, I would rather be seen with you than him!"

He smiled a bit and soon the trio were split up and mixed into the crowd, dancing and having a good time. Perry soon found herself lost in the loud music as it rattle against her rib cage. She couldn't help but laugh and enjoy the fun around her.

'This is wonderful!', she thought to herself as the song continued. 'It's like for once in my life, I can just relax and be...unnoticed. No Monogram to bark at me. No crazy inventions to worry about and blow up. No one who notices me and no one to worry about. For once, I can have fun and be me.'

Suddenly she bumped into someone and turned around to apologize but stopped, seeing it was Heinz. The two stared for a moment as the next song came on. It was swing and Doofenshmirtz offered his hand for a dance with her. She stared at it for a moment, nervous at first but then smiled and relaxed as she took it. The two were swept up into the song and Perry giggled a bit, feeling her heart flutter as Doofenshmirtz danced with her. The only other time Perry had done this was with Heinz's danceinator but this... It was even more fun than then. Each step, each movement, in perfect time to the song. When they finally finished with Doof dipping her back, she stared at him, wanting nothing more than for the song to never have an end. But she realized it did when the crowd around them began to cheer for their brilliant dancing. She quickly slipped from his cradling arms and walked away, the heat in her face rising and left Heinz to only stare after her. The next song that began to play, Perry couldn't help but at least smile at, was "Intimate Get Together" which she only recognized after hearing the kids go on about it after last year's party. She walked over to the table and began to pour herself a cup of punch when she had to quickly dodge an airborne bag of pork rinds.

'Pork flying? Me dancing with Heinz at a party? It IS the end of the world.', she thought sarcastically to herself when she noticed a familiar face not too far off.

"Pinky!", she exclaimed as she walked over to the tail-wagging chihuahua. "Hey long time no see!"

The dog looked over, surprised to hear his name called and looked up at the tall woman.

"Perry?", the dog barked, receiving a nod. "He-hey! Looks like the other agents were right! Ha ha! Nice threads, amigo. Or should I say, 'amiga'?"

"Ah! Man! Where'd you hear bout Doofenshmirtz?", Perry chittered.

"Hey sorry Bro, but it's all over the Owca internet since the phone call to the Major.", Pinky laughed a bit. "All though I was just told you were human. I didn't hear about femininity."

"Ugh, I was so pissed off about this. I was THIS close to punching Heinz's head off.", Perry groaned, holding her index only millimeters from her thumb to illustrate.

"Whoa whoa, 'Heinz'? What ever happened to Doofus, Bro?", Pinky asked, his ears standing up with slight alertness.

Perry realized what she said and blushed a bit.

"I-! I uh meant-...", she sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor. "I have had the craziest week of my life..."

Pinky, feeling bad for his friend, walked up and gently laid his head in Perry's lap.

"You wanna talk about it?", he asked.

"Ulgh.. I'm not sure. How much will you tell?", Perry half-joked.

"I won't! I promise!"

"Well... I mean, he turns me into a human, apologizes and then turns me into a girl! How messed up is that? And then, the-the movies and the freakin' inator he builds to turn me back and-and-! And dude, this is where it's really freaky. He suddenly comes out and starts saying he LOVES me! ME! We've been enemies for over 6 years and suddenly he's all like, 'I love you' and tried to say something about the Major and then I got mad and just- Augh!", she slumped and buried her face in her hands at the frustration.

"...So why are you mad?", Pinky asked, feeling a little clueless.

Perry only looked at the small, quivering dog, quizzically.

"...What do you mean? He's been keeping me away from Phineas and Ferb for a whole week and suddenly starts saying it was cause he loves me! What sense does it make right there? I'm a boy platypus! He's a boy human! Even if he DID love me which.. I think he does, it's still really wrong in retrospect."

"I dunno. I hear quite a few things like that.", Pink said with a shrug. "Perry, you're my amigo and I'm gonna be straight up front with you. If he loves you, go for it. It didn't work with you and Penny... How much more of a chance are you gonna get? Your own species now practically hates even sharing an elevator ride with you where as someone whom you've known forever is saying they love you no matter what. Right? It's just my opinion but as far as your cover-up goes, forget them. One chance at love, I wouldn't blow it even if I did love Isabella TWICE as much as you love the boys."

"Whoa whoa whoa wait, who said I loved him back?", Perry said, starting to get angry again at the accusation of her emotions.

"Don't you?"

Perry was silent for a moment, her mind went back to thoughts earlier and she sighed, looking down at the floor.

"I...I don't know..."

Pinky placed a paw on Perry's shoulder with a reassuring smile.

"Trust me. You do. When an agent walks around with his nemesis' face on his boxers and practices his judo maneuvers on a perfectly made dummy-version of them, yeah. They got it bad.", Pinky said confidently. "Just go for it."

Perry only sighed, taking in her friend's words when she suddenly noticed something and glared at the dog.

"Hey! Why aren't you at the Organization's party instead?", she said accusingly.

"Ay-ay-ay! Amigo you and I and everyone else knows that party's a snore!", he rolled his eyes. "One of the reasons why I do enjoy having Isabella as a cover-up."

"That's sick.", Perry shook her head in shame.

Suddenly there was a small flash and Perry looked to find Pinky holding up a cellphone and pressing buttons on it.

"No. Sending this to all the other agents is sick.", Pinky snickered.

"Aaah! Pinky! you come here! Gimme that phone!", Perry began to chase after the dog as it ran away with a chortle.

Meanwhile, Phineas found Ferb amongst the crowd and greeted him with a smile.

"Hey Ferb! I think I found Perry! Is our surprise ready?"

Ferb gave a thumbs up and they slipped off. Perry was still chasing the dog when she bumped into another man and before she really knew what was going on, she was pressed against the wall with the man only inches from her and his hand next to her head, practically trapping her under him.

"Hey, you feeling a little bored from this party cause I now something we could do to shake things up.", the stanger said with a sly smile as he cupped her chin.

"G-get away from me.", Perry said, feeling nervous with the stranger.

"I hear 'go', but your eyes are telling me to stay.", he continued.

Perry was trying to think of what to do. If she fought, she'd cause a huge uproar in the party and most likely ruin it for everyone. If she didn't do anything, she had a feeling things were going to get very bad. Suddenly another hand slammed the wall next to her head on the other side. The two looked over to see Doofenshmirtz glaring down at the boy menacingly.

"...Beat it.", he simply and very coldly said.

"Hey Sorry Dude.", the stranger said with his hands raised in joking-self-defense. "Didn't know she was yours."

He walked off and Doof and Perry exchanged glances before Heinz stepped back, their faces turning a bit pink.

"Uh.. Weird things people think of, right?", he half-heartedly joked.

Suddenly the room became very dark and Perry and Doof looked around as did everyone else. Two spotlights appeared and began circling around the room as Phineas' voice was heard over the microphone which only made Perry feel nervous.

"And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to dedicate this next song to couples that have come together this Summer. And now for our random choice for the dedication...", Phineas said.

Suddenly the lights landed on non other than who Perry dreaded for them to. Her and Heinz. As the song began to play, the crowd around them began to urge them on to dance which caused Perry's cheeks to burn bright red. Suddenly there was a loud bark and she looked up to see Pinky jumping up to the microphone before getting caught by Isabella.

"GO FOR IT!", Pinky barked in Perry's ears.

'Oh my gosh that stupid-!', her thought was cut off as she felt Heinz grab hold of her hand and she looked back from the stage at him.

He only stared back with a gentle smile and nodded to the floor.

"M-may I?", he asked, feeling his own cheeks and ears become hot.

Perry was still for a moment but, not wanting to embarrass the boys, allowed Doof to lead her out in the middle of the crowd where they took their place and, with her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist, began to very gently swing in time to the beat while Phineas sang softly to the song with Ferb and his friends playing behind him.  
>"If you need a friend, don't look to the stranger. You know in the end, I'll always be there...", Phineas started off.<p>

Doofenshmirtz looked down at Perry who was trying hard to not look back at him. He couldn't help but giving a sigh. She looked so nervous and freaked out to be there. Like she was about to die from humiliation. She was so uptight, her grasp on his shoulders even hurt him a little. He suddenly pulled her closer to him which undoubtly surprised her as her blush grew even worse.

"Wha-?", she started to say but stopped as she heard him gently whispering in her ear.

"Perry..", he began, his voice very soft so no one else could hear. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to. Or I could leave and you and Vanessa could call me if you like. I just want you to be happy. Even...", he sighed, feeling pained to say it. "Even if you want me to leave you...forever.. I want to give you the choice and I'm sorry.. SO sorry.. that I ever forced anything on you. Pain, troubles, ideas of your emotions or what you think. You should be able to say and do what you want to. I shouldn't have said all that stuff about you back in the lab. I'm sorry.. But if you want to leave now, that's fine. No one, especially me, will think less of you. But before you answer that, there's one more thing I want to say. I never intended for all this to happen. I was planning on turning you into a human and holding you for ransom to the Agency. But then.. when I got to be with you more and learn more about you... I.. I came to realize that all these years, I actually loved you the whole time. The way you would kick down my door. The little quarrels I'd have with you. Everytime I said 'Curse you Perry the Platypus', it was like saying, 'I love you Perry the Platypus'. And when I saw you missed your family, I thought I would just send you back and everything will be fine. But then I saw Monogram yelling at you like that and... I was so hurt seeing you not defend yourself or anything. It made me so mad. The way he treats you.. Perry even I was treated better than that. That's why I was mad when you said you wanted to see him again. I didn't want to loose you to him. I love you, Perry Flynn-Fletcher. So much. And if you still hate me.. Never want to see me again in your entire life... I'll respect that wish.. And still love you for who you are... But.. that's your decision.. You make the choice."

Perry's eyes were wide as she listened. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest and tears eventually welded up in her own eyes and what happened next, was purely everything she wanted to do. Her hands slid up from his shoulders. Gently cupping around his jaw and ears, as she pulled down on him. The moment their lips met, deep down, slapping her as hard as she slaps Heinz, Perry felt she, he, it. PERRY. Whatever Perry was. It didn't matter anymore. The moment was almost magical and it made her feel free. Free of Major Monogram. Of platypus instincts. Of logic. Of everything that Perry used to hold herself back with. She finally didn't care anymore what the world thought and all that mattered was that this moment, this magical and wonderful moment, the feeling in her chest of a thousand butterflies flying off, everything, that it wouldn't stop. Not for anything in the world. Not for everything in the world. Perry and Doofenshmirtz stared at each other when they parted, a smile on each other's face. On the sideline Phineas and Ferb high-fived eachother.

"Great idea Ferb!", Phineas said. "They look so happy!"

The lovers in question didn't even have to say a word. They knew what the other was thinking. Perry nodded in a direction and they slipped away from the dancing crowd. Meanwhile, Phineas started to follow after Perry once the song was done but was suddenly pulled aside only to find himself face to face with Isabella.

"Oh! Hi Isabella. Uh.. whatcha doin?", he said, tugging on his arms a bit so he could resume his pursuit.

"Oh shut up, Phineas.", she said before forcefully kissing him.

It wasn't long before Phineas was sucked into the emotions and fell limp to Isabella's will. Vanessa and Candace, who were watching from the sides, shook hands in congratulations and Vanessa slipped off to Ferb.

"Thanks Ferb.", she said giving him a quick kiss as well.

He watched her as she started to go away and sighed happily as he felt his legs become like jello underneath him.

As the party went on, Phineas and the gang had finally caught up with Perry and Dr. D where they were chatting and enjoying the punch, unknown of the boy's presence until he tapped on Perry's shoulder.

"Hey! Perry!", Phineas smiled.

"What?", Perry was surprised, hoping that Phineas wouldn't recognize her. "Uh-! I'm afraid y-you're mistak-"

"It's okay, Vanessa told us.", Phineas explained as he nodded to her.

"You WHAT?", Perry said in absolute shock.

"Perry, they needed to know.", Vanessa chuckled.

Before Perry could say anything else, she found herself attacked with hugs by the kids and she stared down in fear at first but then couldn't help but bend down and hug them back as well.

"We missed you a whole lot Perry.", Phineas said, his voice cracking up with tears again.

"I missed you too, Kiddo.", Perry said.

They finally parted and Perry turned a bit to Heinz for introduction.

"Oh, right. And uh, Phineas? Ferb? This is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. My ex-nemesis-slash-now-boyfriend"

Phineas shook hands with him and chuckled.

"Nice to meet you! Vanessa's told us a bit about you too!"

"Yeah it's nice to meet you Phineas. I heard a bit from Perry.", he returned, feeling the odd plauge of familiarity again as he looked down at the kid.

"Cool! Oh! And this is my brother Ferb and my sister Candace. And this is Isabella."

"Nice to meet you all.", Heinz said, trying not to stare at Candace too much. 'I swear, they look so familiar...'

"I'm so glad you guys are alright though.", Perry said, smiling at the kids. "I was so worried Major Monogram might've seen all this."

"I did.", said, from behind Perry, Major Monogram. 


	25. Chapter 25

Perry and Heinz quickly whirled around like busted teengaers, startled at the commander's voice.

"Major Monogram?", Perry whimpered in fear.

Suddenly Perry's worst nightmare began to unravel. There were loud whirrs from helicopters outside and men in black SWAT-team-like outfits began to pour in. Most people ran out screaming but before anyone had much time to react, Perry heard a deafening cry in her ears which made her turn back around in horror.

"Ahh! Wh-what's going on? Perry!", Phineas cried out as the men began to drag him and the kids off.

"PHINEAS!", Perry screamed.

"Hey! Whatcha doin'! L-let go!", Isabella said, struggling against the large man.

As Perry stepped forward to help, a simple call from Monogram made her stop and look back while fear seized her.

"Agent P!", her leader said sharply.

The men began to swarm around Doof and Perry but stopped before reaching them. Monogram seemed to relax a bit and held out a hand.

"Now... Let's go Agent P.", he said, as if calling a puppy to him. "We'll need you out of the way so we can capture Doofenshmirtz."

Perry only stared wide-eyed at the old man but was snapped out of her trance as Heinz's arms wrapped defensively around her and pulled her close to him.

"Forget it, Monobrow!", Heinz hissed. "She doesn't wanna go with you and you're NOT about to tear us apart!"

Monogram's eyes only narrowed as his outstretched hand turned into a fist which he simply brought back.

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, you don't need to make this any harder on yourself. Agent P would never go against a command. He knows better. What's happened is that you've been mind-controling him which explains why he wasn't checking in like he should and indulging in this silly get-together. We're here to set things right."

"Mind-con-? Oh my gosh you guys ARE uptight!", he exclaimed, finding the idea offensive. "Perry fell in love with me! There's nothing illegal with that! She and I are having fun here and happen to be in love! Why are you freaking out over her for it?"

"It's not just that.", Monogram shook his head in argument. "Agent P has purposely exposed his secret agent life and his family which is the NUMBER ONE thing we do NOT allow."

"So...? I don't get it. Why can't you wait until we're are asleep and just wipe their memories of the past few days?"

"Because he has done this SEVERAL times! I must not only erase memories but replace Agent P entirely with a normal platypus and reassign him in another part of the world while we send a new agent after you."

"WHAT?", Doof exclaimed, beyond pissed off now as he tightened his grip.

"M-majo-", Perry began to whimper before Monogram glared at her and made her coward, clutching the arms around her for support. "Eep!"

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, let go of her. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.", he said, turning back to the object of Perry's protection.

Heinz only stood up his ground and Monogram only raised his hand, preparing to snap his fingers.

"Have it your way.", he said before setting the guards to attack again.

Perry and Doof clung to each other for dear life as the men tried to wrestle them away. Tears over flowing and screams being heard while Major Monogram only stood and watched.

"N-no! Let go!", Perry cried as she tried to pull her arm back.

"Geddoff of me! Perry!", Heinz yelled as his fingers began to slip away from hers.

A final tug and the two were pulled apart, kicking and screaming. Perry was soon brought to her ruthless commander who quickly grabbed her by the wrists in attempt to pull her back with him.

"HEINZ! NO!", Perry screamed as she was fighting as best as she could.

"Agent P! You're coming with me right NOW!", Monogram said, struggling a bit to hold onto her.

Suddenly Perry decided to do the one thing she never thought she would. She quickly grabbed Monogram's wrist and flipped him over her shoulder onto the floor before leaping over him, trying to get by all the men to reach her beloved.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!", she said as she punched one in the face. "BACK OFF!"

One grabbed her shoulder but she quickly grabbed his arm and threw him into the others. Heinz tried to fight back to but neither was successful as Monogram picked himself off the ground and began to call for back up, sending in more and more men.

"We need reinforcements, NOW.", he said, talking into his wrist-communicator. "And bring a change of female clothes."

As the two fought, there seemed to be some hope yet as Heinz reached out over a man to try to grab Perry's outstretched hand but suddenly he felt something hard hit the back of his head and everything went black and while a single scream echoed through his mind. 


	26. Chapter 26

Heinz's head throbbed in pain as he slowly woke back up. The fog was thick around him until he finally shook it off. He looked about, finding himself in an unfamiliar room. After a moment of thought, he remembered Monogram and figured he was at the OWCA's headquarters... Or something like it. His head throbbed again like an irritating headache. He noticed a clock on the wall saying it was about 9:30. Suddenly something caught his attention and brought him fully aware of the situation. Perry stood in the middle of the room wearing a fedora with a blue ribbon in it instead of her normal black one. She was wearing a brown trench coat and blue jeans with orange tennis shoes as far as he could see. Her head was bent and her hair covered up most of her face except her nose but he could still see tears dripping down it. He tried to move to her but found himself trapped to the wall with tight handcuffs much like the ones he would use when Perry came in to foil one of his schemes. He looked about the room and quickly saw the kids who were all worried and strapped to something like a large table except it was up as if they were about to be operated on. Odd metallic helmets were strapped onto their heads and he had a good feeling he had one too. And he was sure whatever the helmets did wasn't what anyone in the room wanted. He then noticed Major Monogram standing in the room; a wide smirk on his face as he glanced over at Doof who only scowled back.

"Are we finally ready Karl?", he asked his intern who trailed behind.

"Yes, yes we are.", he said.

"Alright. Agent P, we'll give you some time to say your good-byes."

Monogram and Karl left the room to find the problem and as soon as the door was closed, Perry fell to her knees, allowing herself to just cry hard right there for a few moments while the kids and especially Heinz, only stared in despair. When she gained control of herself again, she stood back up and walked over to Phineas and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry this had to happen, Phineas.", she said through tears.

"Hey, I gotta learn a lot more about you. Even if I won't remember it, it's pretty cool you're a secret agent!", Phineas said, giving her something of a head-hug in return.

Perry chuckled a bit.

"Optimistic to the last drop. One of the things I loved about being your pet.", she ruffled his hair a bit. "But hey, really, you need to take it a little easier on your Summer projects. You COULD get in some trouble, you know?"

"Really? Wow, now I really wish my memory wasn't about to be wiped."

"It'll be fine. You'll learn one of these days."

She turned to Candace and the two hugged, Candace allowing a few tears to slip away.

"I'm... I guess I'm sorry for always calling you a 'Meatbrick' and giving you a hard time. I didn't realize your life was so hard."

"It's alright, Candace. You didn't know. And also, sorry about always winding up on your bed in the middle of the night. Apparently I'm a sleepwalker and fighting evil in the middle of the night makes it a little hard on me to tell which door is which."

"No, I shouldn't be so mad."

"Well that too. Relax a little. You don't have to mother Phineas and Ferb because of their inventions. Besides, a lot of people really like them."

Candace nodded and Perry went on with Isabella and exchanged her hugs.

"Can't really say a lot about you, Kiddo. You're pretty cool for a 10 year-old. Thanks for giving me some encouragement back at the movie theaters yesterday."

"That was you? How ironic.", she said, trying not to cry.

"Yeah. And by the way, Phineas always liked you."

"Really?", she said, brightening up.

"Yup.", she said with a wink before moving on to the others and saying good-byes.

She finally turned to Doofenshmirtz and her guts knotted up very tightly. She almost felt sick as she had to walk over to him and she couldn't stop the tears from streaming out. She hugged him, at first gently but then tightened her grip, softly sobbing into his shoulder. Doofenshmirtz allowed his own tears to fall down. She gave a shakey sigh and looked up at him and managed a weak smile.

"It's never going to be the same to blow something up..", she started her voice shaking and higher than normal. "And not hear 'Curse you, Perry'.."

"Perry, I never thought I'd ever like you. I certainly didn't think all of this was going to happen. I guess that over the time we've fought though, we were kinda something more than enemies. Friends, if it's possible. Only to fight cause of our jobs. You've always listened to me and though you didn't talk till recently, you always knew how to make me feel a little better than most other people. You've been nice to me and I couldn't ask for a better nemesis. And though I'll have no recollection of ever saying this, it's still true that no matter whether you're male, female, human, platypus, or whatever it is you are... I love you Perry. I always will."

She stared at him for a moment and broke down in a fit of sobs again. She couldn't help it and neither could he. The moment could've lasted a little longer but she was running out of time and there was still plenty to be said. She finally, reluctantly, let go of him and turned away, trying to calm down. Heinz smiled at her and then looked at the others, some of whom were crying a bit. Looking at Candace and Phineas, suddenly he felt something hit him square in the head and his eyes widened with acknowledgment.

"Hey wait a minute!", he exclaimed, catching everyone's attention. "Now I remember where I've seen you two before!"

"Wha? Yeah, PFT.", Perry shrugged.

"No! no! no! It was something else that you guys reminded me of and now I finally remembered it! Okay, mini-backstory time, it was all after I was married to Charlene, my ex-wife, and had Vanessa for about a year. Money was tight and we've had fights and eventually divorced. Because of that, I was in a bad mood and went off and did some stupid stuff with a woman named LINDA FLYNN. Lindana? So then we had a daughter named CANDACE GERTRUDE DOOFENSHMIRTZ. Er, she was gonna be called Doofenshmirtz once we got married. At this point Linda was having her diva tantrum and while we were arranging the wedding, we accidentally were going to have I guess Phineas. See since I was divorced to Charlene I was supposed to hang out with Vanessa every other weekend but the day that Linda was at the hospital and called to tell me she was expecting again, I rushed over with Vanessa and when Linda heard about her and Charlene, she got mad and thought I was just a womanizer or whatever. So I got a restraining order. I only got to see the ultrasound. I could only assume that they died or something. But she told me that if it was a boy she'd want to name it Phineas. MAYBE I saw him once in a letter she sent me.. I can't really remember right now. Anyway, I-I never told you this before, Perry and Vanessa cause.. Well cause it's embarrassing and I forgot about it until now!"

Perry, Phineas, Candace, and Vanessa's eyes were wide with absolute shock, hearing the news.

"Y-you're our dad?", Phineas stammered, almost wanting to cry, seeing as he never had an idea who his biological father was.

"Yeah... Wow.. Wow I'm a dad of a son! A real son! Phineas, I'm so happy to finally meet you!", Heinz said, starting to get choked up himself.

"I.. I always had a faint memory of some guy that smelled like bratwurst but I never knew it was my DAD.", Candace smiled.

"Wow.. My owner is Heinz's son..", Perry said aloud, trying to arrange the words in her head.

"How serendipitous!", Heinz and Phineas said in unision.

They looked at each other for a moment and then laughed a bit.

"Um...", Ferb started to say, feeling rather awkward talking at the moment. He turned to Vanessa. "Since we're revealing secrets before last minute brain-wipe, I thought I'd let you know that my name's short for 'Frank' and I'm 17. Just haven't hit my growth spurt."

Everyone in the room was silent as all eyes were wide and turned to him.

"You're what?", Candace asked, perplexed at the sudden statement.

"Wow.. I didn't see that coming.", Vanessa blushed a little, remembering earlier.

"Wait wait wait, 'Frank'?", Phineas asked. "I thought it was just Ferb!"

"THAT'S what Ferb's short for?", Vanessa said, trying to surpress a giggle.

"Well... Yes, yes it is.", Ferb blushed a bit. "Father always called me 'Ferb' after my mother's father."

"...Okay, is there like, anything else I don't know about you, Fer- er.. Frank?", Phineas asked, unsure if he should be or not.

"...Well, I really-", before Ferb could finish, the door opened again and their time was up.

Monogram stepped into the room while Karl pushed a somewhat large control table along behind him. Perry looked over, her face fallen with despair as she turned to walk behind her commander.

"M-major Mono-"

"Agent P, I did not give you permission.", he firmly stated as Perry only hung her head in shame.

Heinz groweled, feeling utterly disgusted by the major's behavior. The machines began to whirr in a start up process and the kids quickly became worried as they stared at their newly found friend.

"Pay attention Agent P. As your punishment for blowing your cover deliberately, you're to watch them forget you.", Monogram stated and Perry lifted her head as commanded.

Her guts knotted up in a tight ball as the whirring became louder.

"W-wait! Wait a minute! D-don't we get a last request?", Phineas asked, already feeling his body becoming slightly numb.

"What?", Monogram said as the whirring died down for the moment. "Lemme guess, you don't want your memories erased. I'm sorry but it's for your own protection."  
>"Well how? I mean, if Perry's been fighting Do-", Phineas had to pause and remind himself of the surprising information he's recieved. "DAD... for all hi- HER.. life. Man, I am SO not used to this new vocabulary. Anyway, if they've been fighting for all this time, Perry must know pretty well how to keep herself safe. And if Perry's safe and happy, then we're fine too. Besides, we wouldn't mess with anything in her job, r-right Ferb?"<p>

Ferb only quickly nodded as did the rest of the kids.

"Well if it's supposed to be a secret organization, we can't had a bunch of kids know about it.", Monogram said with a slight huff. "And the Organization Without a Cool Acryonym is in deed, a secret ogranization."

"Yeah but-", Candace stopped and looked at the man, confused. "...You're thingy is called 'Organization Without a Cool Acronym'?"

"Wouldn't that be 'Owaca'?", Ferb asked.

"Wipe their memories.", Monogram said flatly, not wanting to deal with the whole name thing again.

"Hey wait!", Heinz said, hoping to stall a little longer.

"What, now?", Monogram sighed in frustration.

"I have a propisition for you.", Heinz was working on the spur of the moment. Anything to keep him and the kids from forgetting everything.

"Yes?"

"What if.. Uh.. Wh-what if, you DIDN'T erase our memories?"

"I'm not liking this..."

"BUT...you could uh.. you could keep Perry. Okay, I-I mean, wh-what if uh.."

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, I'm loosing my patience.", Monogram started to tap his foot.

Finally a thought came to him and if hopefully luck would stay on his side.

"...If you erased our memories, including mine, you'd never be able to turn Perry back into a platypus.", he smirked as Monogram rose half of his monobrow.

"In case you've already forgotten, Karl handels machinery.", he said folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah but, there's a special ingredient you need to make before you can use it. And only members of the Leauge of Villianous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtyness know where to get it and are the only ones who can obtain it. You loose me, you can't get it, and you'll never have Perry the Platypus again. But not just me, you have to spare the others AND let Perry be able to see me and become human whenEVER she wants to. And if you're so worried about the kids or whatever, you know, you can always put them under surveilence or whatever."

"You know, we can always FORCE you to do what we say.", Monogram began to getting annoyed at Doof's ramblings.

"Well I've been contimplating suicide for quite a while now.", Doof smirk widened a bit as Monogram's eyes became wide, realizing the stakes went up. "And didn't you say Perry was your best secret agent? And I already know you hate human agents so without her as a male platypus, what good is Owca? Without me, you and your uncool acronyms go down the tubes!"

The room was silent for a moment while Monogram was trying to mentally digest this. Isabella was the first to speak.

"Mr. Monogram, you just got seriously pawned.", she said flatly.

Some of the others couldn't help but giggle and snicker, including Doof. Even Perry and Karl surprssed a giggle to the verbal slam.

"Nice Izzy.", Candace commented.

Monogram sighed and tried to think of another way out of things. The whole idea sounded so risky on his side.

"Karl?", he asked, turning to the intern for advice.

"Well...", Karl was unsure really of how to gently put it to the superior.

Monogram, realizing what he was wanting to say, rolled his eyes.

"Well even if it DOES make sense, NO. Our method has served us well and made out agents even better than before. Your memories are still going to be wiped."

The machines began once again and Doofenshmirtz was panicking.

"N-no! Wait! C-come on! Y-you can't just-! I-I mean-!", his memory was working great when it was about to wiped as he suddenly remembered something that would save it all. "I OWN PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

Everything stopped and after a moment of silent shock Monogram looked over at Perry who was equally surprised with her cheeks burning bright red.

"Agent P?"

"I...", she stammered, trying to understand what Doof was saying.

"I bought her! Legally! The kids; I'm sure your little organization had something to do with it but when I bought Perry, I bought her at a completely different pet shop! Remember Perry? F-for the dog show and Only Son! Yeah, I had to actually PAY 10,000 bucks for you! I-if you let me go I'll show you the papers and everything!"

Monogram stared at him for a moment before letting him go. The moment Heinz was free, he went to a desk in the room and began to search through it.

"Now let's see.. Where was it? Oh! Here! Right here!", he plucked a piece of paper from one of the drawers and handed it over to Monogram and Karl. The kids exchanged wild expressions and shrugs while Monogram's face grew very pale staring down at the paper. He turned to Perry.

"You SOLD yourself in a pet store?"

"Uh..."

"Yeah and if you take her away from me, you're STEALING MY pet platypus! And Owca IS all about being on the RIGHT side of the law, right?", Doofenshmirtz began feeling excited as new hope was found in him.

Monogram was speechless and after a moment his unpaid intern passed out right next to him. After another moment, Monogram lowered his head in defeat while Perry only smiled, her eyes shining with hope that it was true.

"It's legitimate. No mistake.", Monogram said finally.

Perry's heart was beating hard against her chest and before Heinz could say another word she had leapt into his arms and was happily kissing him knowing everything was going to be okay at the point. The man in question was surprised at first amd couldn't help but tumble over onto the floor from the sudden weight, but quickly came to love what was happening and brought up an arm to press her closer.

"Actually, Perry's been something like family to all of us! Our Summer just wouldn't have been the same without her.", Isabella said, earning nods and agreements from Buford and Baljeet.

Monogram only rolled his eyes, knowing his defeat and released the kids. By now, Karl began to pick himself back up off the floor from his earlier shock and Monogram looked back over at Perry and Heinz who were busy ignoring everyone and enjoying their passionate lip-lock.

"Man, what a Summer", Phineas said, smiling at the others. "And now everyone can leave off at a happen ending."

"Yeah but.. Since Ferb is 17 but Vanessa and I are half-siblings would that mean Ferb and Vanessa couldn't date?", Buford asked, causing Ferb's cheeks to turn blood red and Vanessa's eyes to widen a bit.

"Nah. Cause Ferb's a Fletcher. It's not like Mom or Dad had anything to do with his birth.", Candace noted, leaving Ferb to feel more relaxed.

At the words "Ferb", "Vanessa" and "date", Doof was snapped out his trance and turned his head angrily away to face them.

"WHAT? Oh no he- Gah!", he was cut off as Perry pulled his face back to hers, not wanting to loose the lip-to-lip contact.

Monogram only chuckled and shook his head, finally loosening up a bit.

"Ah memories..", he said to no one in particular.

"Uh.. Memories, Sir?", Karl asked, wondering what his superior was talking about.

"Ah well you know, I..had a nemesis..once.", he said, feeling pulled into flashbacks. "Of course though Francine and I soon learned there was more to us than hate.."

It was Perry's turn as she looked back, leaving Heinz in a dazed state of mind from the attention as her face turned into perplexity and surprise.

"Your wife, Sir?", she exclaimed, catching everyone's attention.

"Wait, what?", Heinz said, equally surprised. "What is it with all the 'Fran's? Francis, Frank, and now FRANCINE?"

"Yes, I used to fight with my wife. And uh.. surprising thing is that I was actually the...evil one. So yes, I can very well relate to you, Doofenshmirtz."

Karl's mouth dropped while Perry placed a hand on her chest, trying to prevent herself from having a heart attack. After a moment Doof cut off the silence.

"I KNEW IT!", He said, pointing a finger with a proud smirk.

"Yes yes, you can stop it now. Why do you think I run an all-animal organization that prevents evil from happening? Why do you think I was concerned when your slower than normal or you're sick or uploaded a viral video to the internet? I've done that stuff. Talk about raised by ocelots? I was raised by coyotes. I built the first Annihilator Ray. I have a reason to be worried about what you're up to."

"YOU'RE the one who built the first Annihilator Ray?", Doof said in slight awe. "But.. I always heard it was by a different name. Not Francis Monogram.

"It was a different name. You know, like writers and their pen names? It was my pen name."

"Wow.. This is...very weird..", Perry said, still trying to place 2 and 2. "Y-you were..?"

"Agent P, we'll discuss this another time. In the meantime, it's time to take these kids home before their parents begin to worry.", Monogram said quickly.

"Oh.. I guess you're right.", Perry said, standing up with Heinz.

The kids walked over and Perry gave hugs goodbye. Heinz even took a turn with Phineas and Candace.

"It's great to finally meet you, Phineas.", he said as he smiled down at the boy. "And great to see you again, Candace."

"It's so cool to actually meet my biological father!", Phineas said excitedly. "Just wait until Mom hears this!"

"Uh, heh. Phineas, I think we should just keep this whole thing to ourselves, kay?", Perry chuckled.

"Oh.. Yeah that's cool."

"And if anyone asks where I went to?"

"Perry ran away and we're okay with it.", the Flynn-Fletchers replied in unison.

"Good job kids.", she smiled proudly.

"It's weird that two are mine though.", Heinz chuckled.

"Hey.. If you're their dad, what would that make Perry if you guys got married?", Baljeet asked.

Perry and Heinz couldn't help but blush as they look at each other with slight chuckles.

"Hmm...", Phineas pondered the question before Vanessa smiled and folded her arms.

"I know that Perry's the dad.", she chuckled.

"Wha-? I WANT TO BE THE DAD!", Doof said, remembering their earlier conversation.

"Ha ha! Well Hon, YOU wore the wedding gown!", Perry laughed.

"Uh.. Is this something you want to tell me about?", Monogram asked suspiciously.

"No no. It's just a joke.", Perry said. 


	27. Chapter 27

It was late. Very late. Linda and Lawrence pulled up to their driveway, happy they were able to enjoy their evening alone while Candace babysat their kids.

"I still can't believe Candace hasn't made a single phone call about the boys.", Linda said as they got out of the car.

"Yes well it's nice that they're finally getting along, huh?", Lawrence commented.

"Yeah but let's hope that the house isn't trashed like that party Candace threw last year."

They chuckled as they walked to the door and opened it. When they walked in the house was still neatly kept. A little odd on Linda's part so they went upstairs to find the kids and soon found them all sleeping soundly in their beds.

"Aw.. How cute.", Linda said, a smile on her face.

"See now, Hon? Everything's fine. Why not we get a little shut-eye, okay?"

"Yeah. Lemme just take care of Ferb's book right quick." she chuckled as she walked in and took it from Ferb's sleeping arms and placed it on the shelf above him.

She turned to walk out but had to stop and look out the window.

"What?", Lawrence asked, coming up to look with her.

"...Could've sworn I saw someone outside...", Linda said, biting her lower lip. "...Heh. Must just be my imagination. Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

The couple walked out of the room, unknown of Perry standing in the tree in the backyard, smiling up at Phineas and Ferb's window.

"Night guys.", she said softly to herself before going back to meet up with Monogram and Karl.

When everyone was placed back home except for Vanessa, Perry, Monogram, and Karl met back up in the DEI.

"Welp, guess we'll start working on a reassignment for you, Agent P.", Monogram said with a slight glare at Heinz.

"Actually Sir, permission to speak?", the agent requested.

"What?"

"I quit.", she said cheerfully and somewhat proudly.

"WHAT?", Monogram's jaw dropped.

"Sir, being a human and living here with Heinz, I came to realize more so than before that you've worked me to the bone on the most STUPIDEST project ever! My nemesis is defeated and my cover-up's gone. I quit the Organization Without a Cool Acronym."

Monogram and Karl stood there, flabbergasted at the news while Heinz only laughed and hugged Perry from behind.

"I'm proud for you, Perry.", he said before kissing her cheek.

"Thank you.", Perry chuckled.

"B-but Agent-"

"The name's Flynn-Fletcher. Perry Flynn-Fletcher.", she corrected with a smirk.

"P-Perry-!", Monogram stammered.

"And I believe it's time to say our OWN good-byes.", she went on with another chuckle. "So, Franny Monobrow, Dr. Coconuts, I bid thee farewell."

The two continued to stare in shock and slight humiliation for Karl at the nickname Perry used. The young intern's face was bright red but soon Monogram's own face turned into something like a twitching scowl. Like he wasn't sure what expression to really make. Perry and Doof only looked at each other and laughed. Perry then turned Monogram and Karl around and began to head them to the door with Heinz's help.

"Okay okay. Geez, no need for long mushy good-byes!", the doctor said quickly.

"Yes yes, I won't miss you either. Okay good-bye!"

With that the two were crammed into their car and Perry gave a friendly mock-salute as Monogram continued to stare. After a moment he only sighed, knowing Perry's mind was made up and started the car. He turned around one more time to look at Perry.

"Are you SURE about this?", he asked. "The organization would never be the same without you, Ag- ...Perry."

Perry only smiled and folded her arms across her chest.

"You have Penny. I'm sure you'll survive.", she chuckled.

Monogram only sighed again and drove off with the intern. After they left sight Perry sighed and hugged Heinz who returned the embrace passionately.

"Man.. This has been a LONG night..", she sighed contently.

"Yes, yes it has.", Heinz replied, very happy to have Perry with him. "Let's head to bed, okay?"

"Yeah...", Perry she yawned happily.

The next day, Doofenshmirtz pulled up into Charlene's drive way and smiled at Vanessa as he stopped the car.

"Hey Kiddo, thanks for helping me this week.", he said, earning a smile. "Sorry that it had to be the week I promised I wouldn't have Perry interfere though."

"Dad, this wasn't your job..", Vanessa chuckled.

They shared a hug and climbed out of the car. Doof handed her her backpack and she kissed him goodbye before walking up to her house where Charlene was there, waiting to welcome her with a hug. After the embrace, Vanessa walked inside to unpack and Doofenshmirtz walked up to the porch to his ex-wife, surprising her a bit.

"By the way, Charlene?", he began before slapping a hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner and smiling down at her widely. "Thank you SO much for divorcing me. I can't thank you enough for it."

He nodded simply and then headed back to his car, leaving the woman to simply stare at him.

"..Whatever.", she shrugged.

Once inside the car, Doof started it, backed up, and then turned to the seat next to him where Perry was sitting and smiled even more.

"Everything okay?", she asked with a smile.

"Are we more than enemies?", he chuckled before kissing her and driving off.

And that's what they were. What they always will be.

More than Enemies. 


	28. Chapter 2 EPILOGUE?

"Okay. So lemme run through this again.", Heinz said, talking to Perry one day. "You and I are happily in love."

"Yup.", Perry nodded.

"And your family's cool with it and didn't have their memories wiped or anything."

"Yup."

"And in OUR little family, I think I can understand how Vanessa's the daughter, Norm's the youngest and the son, you're the dad and I'm the mom which is completely unrealistic gender-wise.", he rolled his eyes with the memory.

"And we've never been happier.", she only beamed happily at him.

"You've quit the organization and are now working at a grocery store."

"Yes."

"Meanwhile I'm working with college homework so I can get that official doctrine in chemistry and the likes."

"And I've never been prouder of you.", Perry confirmed with a kiss on his cheek.

"I proclaimed my 180-turn around to Lovemuffin, hanging up the evil lab coat forever."

"Yup.", Perry nodded again.

"I FINALLY fired the maid."

"Yes, yes you did."

"And so now we're working on getting married officially."

"Well I think it'd look a little better since you bought me with your ex-wife's money.", she shrugged.

"Okay. So I've gotten everything right so far then?"

"Yup."

"Kay. So then answer me this, Perry, my beloved friend and lover...", he said with a raised eyebrow.

Perry waited and then Heinz turned around to face himself in a body-length mirror with a scowl on his face.

"WHY AM I THE ONE WEARING THE DRESS?", he finally yelled while looking at a white wedding dress being sewn to fit him by a busy tailor at his feet.

Perry only laughed and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling at the reflection of him in the dress and her in a white suit.

"Because! It looks good on you!", she chuckled. "The blue ribbons really set off your eyes."

"Well, true as that may that may be...", Heinz chuckled, unable to help but feel somewhat girly as he talked. "Why me? I'm the male. I mean it's not just Roger and all my family members that I hate being there, but even my ocelot family! How embarrassed will they be when they see their son wearing a wedding dress and walking down the aisle?"

"Heinz..", Perry shook her head, chuckling a bit at this worry. "Lest you forget, MY family will be there too. Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet as well. And my friends from Owca INCLUDING Peter the Panda and Penny the Platypus AND my OWN platypus family all the way from Australia. Think about it. My platypus family will see their little BOY PUGGLE as a HUMAN FEMALE marrying a HUMAN MALE. Talk about SOCIALLY awkward! But that's the thing with this wedding. We're already weird enough. Why not go ahead and just share how weird and happy we are together with those who do and don't care about us? And the best thing is about you wearing a dress and me in a suit is that when we look back at the pictures we'll always remember all the fun adventures we had. Both as enemies and as lovers. Okay?"

Heinz stared at her a long time while she stood there, her hands cupping his cheeks as she smiled affectionately at him. He finally smiled and gently kissed her.

"Perry, you know I can never win a fight against you.", he chuckled.

"And you know that though you haven't taken over the Tri-State Area, you've taken over my heart. The one fight you DID win.", she smiled.

"Yes, yes I did."

DA ENDZ! 


End file.
